We were riding a boat down on the River....

 NOW if you want to tell a Tall Tale down in my parts.  The line..."We were on a pontoon boat down on the Tennessee River," let's everyone know a really Big Tall Tale with adventure is about to begin.  Everyone in the room laughs, and grins and leaning forward in anticipation....waiting as the accent becomes thicker (for dramatic inflection of course) and the gestures become wider.  You know the person telling it is sharing something common and collective we all can relate too.  We all know someone that has a pontoon boat, probably grew up with a pontoon boat somewhere in our family...and we all have the experience of realizing that while it states clearly for everyone to see NO DRINKING AND DRIVING A BOAT everywhere on the river; that most of the funniest stories come from relatives, or you, or friends, or some dumb redneck abusing this law.

A pontoon boat is a small shell that really floats most of the time, it has an engine you use to get it from A to B and to move it faster and is usually used to fish on.  However, down south I have seen it used to pull people on inter tubes and knee boards and to even pull families of children(including second or third cousins) behind it.  We Southerners are known for inventive things like this that you know is going to end up on the Televisions of America under the File America's Funniest Home Videos; or on YouTube with a million hits.

Last night we all sat around on New Years eve sharing these stories about people getting so drunk they parked way up on the banks, or lost cell phones, or how our Uncles or Fathers made sure to be home by 4pm because they had to "make martini time".  You can look at this judgmentally or you can see it as it is which is a commentary on how common it is in the South (I cannot speak for every other region) to drink and drive and how for some reason we associate fishing with that sport of drinking with a huge cooler and it does not matter if you catch a fish but if you have a real good time.  People seem divided on this issue; but now that I am older and mellower I can just look at it and laugh and shake my head surprised we all lived through this time in our lives when we were being pulled on inter tubes by uncles that were cussing, raising hell, and drinking like fishes while whirligigging us down the river.

I realized today how apt the analogy is for our lives to some extent.  We are all on boats down the river.  Some of us are riding on intertubes with other people driving it.  Some of us are driving pontoons, some canoes, some house boats, some sail boats, some yachts, some barges, or paddle boats...but we are all on that river.  I have had people tell me," you just try to hard to paddle" or "you steer the boat too much"  you should just "go where the river takes you"....they might be right.  However, I tend to think that if you don't paddle or steer you might get stuck or beeched somewhere and that I would like to drive my own damn boat (thank you very much) and not get pulled around on a knee board for the rest of my life.  You can call that controlling or very astute depends on whether you are a glass "half full/half empty" kind of person.

So here we are all on boats, driving down or up a river all headed toward somewhere we either have plotted on a map or :just sense" in our gut.  You can always stop at a clearing and set up camp for a spell but at some point you do have to get back on that boat and travel the river because it does flow on, and you cannot remain stagnant.

 

 This year, I am acknowledging that I am on a big boat with my Co-founders in life and that my job might just be to read the map and point out that we "might want to take a right at the fork".  This year I am going to let the "pirates" who want to take my boat over know very clearly that it is not an option that they can have unless they are going to fight me for it because I do not lie down or cry surrender when it comes to my life.  This year I will not have people "looting me" or "pilfering through my stuff" or "borrowing" parts of my gear and identity...because they all have their own boat and have been given their own map if only they choose to use it and read it.  BUT IF you want to follow our boat, if you want to travel the same seas with us (because rivers lead to bigger bodies of water), if you want to come experience this wonderful adventure called life with me and know I am not going to "stop to shore for martini time" then you are more than welcome.  I am pleased to have the company.

Something to think about....What kind of boat are you riding down the river of life on?  Do you even have a boat or are you letting someone pull you through?  Are you the captain or co-captain that shares with your family members your boat?  What map are you reading?  Did you even know you had one?  What rules are you going to maintain this year on your boat and for your life?

Have a wonderful NEW YEAR this year!  THANK YOU once again for the Gift of your time! Please share in the comments below some answers to these questions if you do not mind....

" I would like a mummy dog, dipped in blood, with an eye of newt on the side please!"

Some Witchy Recipes:

Many of us answer to the name “witch”.  We take pride in it, bandy it about, cackle like one, have a collection of witch hats, pointy boots, black capes, carpet bags, bottles with labels, cats galore, and use this name in reference to our spiritual path.  I have never taken “offense” to the name witch when attached to me; in fact I like it.  I feel like it makes me “special” in a world that is encouraged to stamp out “unique” individuals.

I was told when I was a little witchling that every “real witch” (this term real witch could be an excellent blog) starts either in the kitchen or in the garden learning her trade and polishing her skills. I have found this particularly true in the South if you ask enough people they concentrate usually in one area or another.  Me, I chose the kitchen and later delved into a bit of gardening.  Honestly though I enjoy “brewing up teas and concoctions”, making special cakes and pies and delightful treats.  I find my heart singing, and my lips peeled back in a smile I cannot contain.  

I rune my pies, I whisper over my cookies, I talk to my cake batter, I sprinkle herbs, spices, flavorings, like a witch from a painting taking time to do everything with a flourish and grand gesture because why not enjoy what you are doing?  But the real important ingredient in Kitchen witchery is not only having good ingredients, a good recipe, great stove, good pots and pans and a love for the craft of it in you heart it is one thing--- LUCK.  Yep, you need luck if you are going to not “over cook” something or if you are really going to go on your instinct “and throw in a dash of oregano” in a chocolate pie.  

How does one guarantee luck?  Well that takes surrounding yourself with lucky objects does it not, or possibly asking your Gods or Guides to assist you in the kitchen?  Witches know how to attract luck, that is why many wear lodestones.  Of course growing shamrocks in in your kitchen does not hurt.  Hanging a kitchen witch and charging her in the kitchen definitely turns the tide in your favor.  What about a few gnomes or house elves?  Just like ingredients make up a recipe, so do “kitchen helpers” in a witch’s life. AND kitchen witches truly in the heart believe that there is no limit to when you can cook “fun” what others would call “haloweeny” dishes and desserts.  Because, to a witch every day is Halloween!

Keeping this in mind, I am going to share a couple of recipes I cooked this last week for a ghost hunting workshop that was done at my home.  Of course, I know it was not Halloween but it sure was fun making Mummy Dogs and Eye of Newt Deviled Eggs and Ghost cookies!  I do not feel that these recipes should be limited to Halloween they should be made any time of night or day when you just need to smile or take life less seriously!

EYES OF NEWT: Yields2 dozen newt eyes

Ingredients

• 12 eggs
• 1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish
• 1 tablespoon mayonnaise
• 1 pinch celery salt
• 1 tablespoon prepared yellow mustard
• 2 drops green food coloring, or as needed
• 1 (6 ounce) can sliced black olives, drained

Directions

1. Place all of the eggs into a large pot so they can rest on the bottom in a single layer. Fill with just enough cold water to cover the eggs. Bring to a boil, then cover, remove from the heat and let stand for about 15 minutes. Rinse under cold water or add some ice to the water and let the eggs cool completely. Peel and slice in half lengthwise.

Remove the yolks from the eggs and place them in a bowl. Mix in the relish, mayonnaise, celery salt, mustard, and food coloring. Spoon this filling into the egg whites and place them on a serving tray. Round the top of the filling using the spoon. Place a whole olive inside each yolk to create the center of the eye. Dab a tiny bit of mustard in the center of the olive as a finishing touch. Sprinkle liberally with paprika! 

MUMMY DOGS:  Yields 2 dozen

Ingredients

• 2 (11-oz.) cans refrigerated breadstick dough
• 24 bun-length hot dogs (choose turkey or chicken or vegan)
• Vegetable cooking spray
• Whole Cloves
• 2 Cups mustard, 1 Tbsp chili powder, and 1 Tbsp or real honey for Dipping Sauce

Preparation

• 1. Preheat oven to 400°. Unroll breadstick dough, and separate into 12 strips at perforations. Gently stretch each strip to a length of 8 inches.
• 2. Wrap 1 dough strip lengthwise around each hot dog. Secure with wooden picks, if necessary. Coat lightly with cooking spray. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet.
• 3. Bake at 400° for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Let stand 5 minutes.

MAKE your Dipping Sauce and make sure you put it next to them in a FUN bowl (I use a cauldron)

I hope these recipes give you a taste of what it is like to eat at my table, and to dance in my kitchen!  I enjoy the little things as they call it because I know the little things not only add up and make big things but that the Goddess is always in the details!  So relish your kitchen witchery, put on that big hat whilst cooking, but always take the time to invoke LUCK while baking up a brew!

A goal is not always something to be reached; it often serves as something you are meant to aim at. --Bruce Lee

I love the artist Tara Mchperson!  I own some of her handsigned Rock and Roll posters from back in the day when she really needed the money.  What I love most about them is that she always addresses the VOID.  You can find that sad, or beautiful, or tragic, but I see it as REAL.

There are periods in your life when you feel as if you are just walking about like a zombie in a void.  You get up take a shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, drink coffee, go to work, get home, eat, watch TV, go to bed, REPEAT.  You do this routine every day until the weekend comes then you get up, do chores, run errands, watch a little TV or play on the computer, go out with friends, REPEAT.  This is one way this cycle manifests and I am not criticizing this cycle. Some people find bliss in this cycle or repeat rotation but not me.

Another option:  You go to school every day striving for a goal, and working a little part time job or NOT working a job and having your partner do all the work so you can just concentrate on school. You come home and do homework every night then go to bed and get up the next day to do the same thing REPEAT.  The weekends are spent doing homework, hanging out only to start the same routine again on Monday REPEAT.  This routine is slow, steady and lasts as long as it takes until you either give up or finish school to get your goal/degree. Once again, this is not a BAD routine I am just showing you how it is common in our lives.

Other scenarios:  You get married, have kids, do laundry, do dishes, go grocery shopping,  cook meals, take care of your children (wash them, teach them, discipline them, play with them), take care of your pets and plants (the same as children), only to finally after they are all asleep and tucked away YOU go to bed, get up the next day and start the same. REPEAT, WASH<RINSE> REPEAT.

ROTATION:  I feel that life works not only in cycles but in patterns of rotation.  Yes, like a wheel or gears, or part of machine…however you want to state it.  It is what you do when in the rotation; or how you perceive the rotation that is integral to how you “escape” or “supersede” it.  Some people say they take comfort in patterns and routines this in itself is a way of overcoming a rotation so you do not get bored.  Myself, I am easily bored.  I discovered this about myself at an early age.  So I would read voraciously, be involved in way too many activities, and run around the block with excess energy pretending I was a horse or a marathon runner whichever one came to mind first when galloping.

I got bored in my spiritual life magically speaking (apparently I am a social witch), then I founded a coven and that kept me busy.  I got bored in my spiritual life again (I had done the covens, groves and circles) then the opportunity arose to help co-found a Wiccan church and that has really kept me busy.  Just when it was getting launched and flying like a rocket I came to the discovery that in some areas I was still bored.  I needed and wanted more not out of others but for myself.  The other clergy started running more circles so I could participate and learn; I teach students so that kept me busy learning also; I was not learning what I needed to learn in my heart. To find out what that was I had to step back, stop being “so busy” and listen; really listen to my higher self and to my Gods. “What was I doing wrong” I asked? What I did not ask was, “What was I doing right?”

 I went outside to our circle and starting approaching things differently, I know my elements, I know my Gods, I know how to raise and manipulate energy, I understand intensity and vibrations.  I made myself start “reflecting” on other options; I shook up my comfort zones and questioned them.  I spoke to my deities and told them that while I would always love them that I needed a bit more and I did not understand what was missing I did not understand my void.  I explained that I loved the Temple, I loved teaching classes, I loved my husband and children and all the things they had given me but I was at a pivotal point in my own personal life and that I needed something specific.  I was scared to say it out loud, it seemed wrong somehow to ask for a deeper personal spiritual life for myself but once it was said I felt pressure easing off me like a ton of bricks and I realized that was what I needed. I needed to be honest, I had a life too, I did not exist just to serve other humans and the Gods I also existed to serve myself and my heart else how could I serve others?  My void was stated, my needs were clear, my Gods came through.

A teacher landed in my lap.  The first thing he asked me was…”How was my circle balanced?”  I could answer that, but it made me stop.  I thought and thought, and came back to let him know that I did not like the concept of balance in a “traditional wiccan circle” for myself and this made me feel guilty.  I wanted one type of circle for me, and another for the Temple but I knew he would not have been prompted to ask me if there was not a reason for it.  I sat down and drew for him all the circles I knew and I have to brag here I was amazed at the wealth of maps of circles I knew and the amount of circle styles I knew and this explained my void.  I told him how just recently I had an “epiphany” about how to divide the circle in different quadrants eight to be exact, and how it corresponded to my deities, and how historical this number came up and up again.  I showed him all the old maps from John Dee, Aleister Crowley, Plutonius, mystics in Egypt, and they all had divisions and symbols and balance but were not what I was looking for even though I had tried them and understood them. That was my void.

He nodded left, came back a few days later and had a puzzle.  He took all eight pieces showed me different ways of laying them out and then explained to me where my issues were arising and I realized I was not bored, just resigned and blocked.  I needed another fresh perspective to push me, to cheer me on, to tell me it was okay for me to want to “make my own alchemical circles” and yes I could “combine Egyptian deities” and Yes I had “to release pre-conceived notions” and that it was Okay.  He also had eight quadrants, and he approached everything differently than me but that could me my “launching point” not the end of my destination.  I felt peace and pieces fall together I had to voice my feelings and confront my void to get to my destination.

I have worked with him now for about a month; he patiently listens to me and prods me, questions me, then pushes me.  I needed a teacher, I needed a guide, I needed someone to step in and push me when I had already passed the “degree system” that is earned and taught in Wiccan traditions.  I needed someone to help me after I had ran covens, and helped co-found a church.  I wanted to be good just to be good.  I wanted to “supersede myself” have my “own style” and leave behind my own “circle maps”.  The Gods are okay with that. What I find myself asking is “why was I so silly as to not realize that they would be?’ Why did I assume that it was not okay for me to push boundaries just to push boundaries? Have you too gotten so caught up in life, that you have forgotten this truth? 

I told you I hated routines and boredom, some people hate it so bad they fill those voids with drugs and alcohol; or with drama from people or groups (they are the instigators of it yet they will blame it on others), some people fill this with love or passion or sex, some people with creations and art, some people fill it with pain and suffering and are always hurting and crying, some people fill it with a new project and a new job, some people fill it with exercise, some people project it onto others therefore they are perpetually angry and mad, there are millions of ways to fill your voids some unhealthy for you and some very good for you.  But, you cannot ever see it if you do not stop and listen to yourself and look at yourself objectively and question the void, your role in it, and its role in you.

I was taken to the Void on a journey this week.  It was not empty, it was not scary, and I understand the void better now.  I looked at it and saw vast possibilities, I understood the voids role in my life and in the universe and I felt happy in my heart.  The void is not your or my enemy it exists for many reasons but the one we have trouble comprehending is this; there is a VOID only if you let it exist.  You need the void.  You need it to create, and to fail, and to soar, and to fall.  You need it to see that you are dissatisfied, and that you need to learn and grow.  You need the void to rest because you are tired and you are pushing yourself too hard.  You need the void to understand that you have to think, you have to plan, you have to be active, and you cannot just “exist” as a big void you have to create.  Lastly, you have to understand that the “void” is unique to you…it’s there to push you on, to help you discover your “mission” and your “gift”.

This week, look for your VOID.  This week, realize that if you think you do not have one you do.  Find that void, empty it out of all your pre-conceived notions and “ways of being and doing”.  Make friends with your void, but do not become too comfortable with it else you do nothing at all.  Life is full of creation and void.  Life is full of construction and destruction.  Life is full of rotations and learning.  Somewhere within yourself and outside of yourself is a balance.  Where is your circle balanced?  Mine is balanced within me.

Thank you for the gift of your time, and for listening.  I pray you find the balance you seek and that you make friends or at least peace with the VOID.

  

I didn't buy these tools at Sears !

This is my altar set up before a ritual it is  not perfect yet, the black and white candle are missing, the cauldron with the charcoals and incense resins, the symmetry is not truly pleasing for everyone to see yet.  But if you look closely, you can see some of my favorite things and these things are beautiful to me.

My wand.  It is a crystal quartz wand about the length of my arm and a gift from one of my best witch friends.  Joanna bought it for me because she felt it was shameful for the priestess of a church to use just a magnolia wand she had put together herself.  So she did research, and bought me a quartz crystal wand.  Every time I use it I feel it resonate and amplify my natural energy.  Every time I pick it up I feel the love from all the circles I have cast for protection for the Temple and my family, and all of the circles we have done every other week for several years come to mind: the one utilizing mirror magick, the circle for Hecate, the HUGE one that I got to use it for at PPD, the Artemis ritual at Daughters, the Isis ritual at Daughters, the love spells we did that was controversial, the Mama Bast ritual, and the healing rituals, prosperity rituals, abundance rituals, luck rituals, and the list goes on and on.  But most of all I love the fact that Hecate fills that crystal quartz every new moon or full moon with the most intense light I have ever seen, and that it vibrates at a chord that helps me when I sing to her "Hecate seal this circle tight, and fill it with your holy light..." and how when at the end of every ritual I am done, and draw up the circle and I say "thank you Hecate" I hear her say "thank you" back and feel the light dim like turning off a switch. Thank you Joanna best friend of my soul for giving what I needed though I had no idea I needed it.

Next, you see my cheesy incense burner that looks like an Oak tree?  Well my husband when he came into our marriage brought that with him.  It was on his personal altar in his home, and every time I touch it or use it I am reminded that I have been given one of the most precious gifts of all...my husband Brian a High priest whom I can never say enough good things about.  I wanted a Pagan husband, and I got him. I love incense, of course most of my blends are Frankincense and Myrrh because the Egyptians like these...but I try to combine the incense in my burner with the properties that help "raise" the vibrations around me to resonate with a spell.  Thus I use rose for love, or peppermint for protection, or lavender when we need to feel calm, nag champra I associate with holiness, and I have been told most of my life I smell like incense so I cannot help but enjoy the lighting of those holy sticks after all these years.  In fact, discovering new types and scents are one of my favorite things to do and my collection of them really mind boggling at times.  Want to give a Highpriestess a great gift?  How about hand rolled resin incense sticks?  Thank you Daniel!

Behind them you see the two pitchers I use constantly to pour out ale to the people that visit and attend our Temple here.  One, was a gift from step daughter who is also a wonderful witchy girl!  The other blue Greek one was given to me by two friends, my former Highpriest Amos and my best bud Allison.  When I look at both pitchers they remind me of HOW FULL my life is, and how my cup will never go empty because I am loved not only by the Gods but by people who I am fortunate enough to adore. 

To the right of the Gods and a little behind them on that gold platter, is a cobalt blue retro drink set.  I utilize these to pour small individual drinks out to each God and Goddess on my altar, this time it was five. By the way I think statues to your God or Goddess or a sort of tool because we all know they do help you focus and gives the deity a physical form to dwell in. Here are mine in the picture going left to right ( Thoth, Ra-Ptah, Osiris, Sekhmet, and Isis).  The retro cocktail set I bought from the Temple garage sale a few months back.  Everyone knew I was going to do it.  A good friend of mine Lori brought them in as a donation, they were beautiful, retro and blue.  They were so me!!  I thought they were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen so I HAD to buy them!  When I use these items I am reminded that in my life I am able to purchase things with the abundance the Goddess Isis has given me.  That it is safe for me to be abundant because everything she gives me she knows I will share with others and use for the betterment of the world around me.  That is what I feel my path is all about, and so when I pour out from my prettiest drink set fruit juice or homeade beer to my Gods and I press this on their lips I find that my heart dances because I can share with them my best.  I know they enjoy my giddy heart, and I know that I have everything I have because they are there with me.

Lastly,  my favorite tool in this picture is the altar everything is laying on.  This altar is built out of cement blocks put together by hand by my friends and family.  It is not gold and shiny, it is not elaborately scrolled but it is filled with love, and power, and light, and alot of great circles have been conducted here.  Trudy and Terry and Anne and Tom have done some big magick here, even the Grandmother witch of us all Pat!  My son's wiccaning was done at this altar, the Temple initiations have been done at this altar. I have worked with many friends at this altar and my husband at this altar.  My pic here on facebook is at this altar with my son on it Cayden.  But the real secret to this altar?  It is not as simple as it seems.  In every corner in the making of it there are crystals to amplify the energy of the group and the center; and in its guts deep in the middle there are letters to Gods and Goddesses of the Temple and prayers and tokens to dedicate that altar to the Gods and Goddesses we love so much.  When I step up to that altar I feel nothing but the love I have for my Gods and my fellow pagans, I feel the love they have for their Gods and for me...and I know there could be no better spot for me to stand than right there.  That is a sacred spot, that is sacred ground and there are very few of those that I know...but I have one in my back yard!

Now that I finished this post, I realize that the subject of tools led me to realize that in all the arguments I have heard for or against...I have never heard one talk about the love behind them.  The time involved in them and that is really why I love my tools.  To hold them, to use them, is to remind me of one thing...LOVE and for me that is the greatest magick in the world.

Thank you for the gift of your time!

"Faster than a cat can wink his eye"

When people talk to me about the act of picking a deity, what they usually find themselves concerned about is if their pantheon is going to be a good match for them. When I hear these concerns I pass on to them the wisdom my mentors passed on to me, look at “how that pantheon treats death” and see how they feel about that system of afterlife.  What I find myself not mentioning is to look at the story of creation that comes from their pantheon because “creation stories” are something that every “system” of religion or “culture” has and while they are beautiful are full of allegories metaphors and are very “un-scientific”.  I like the Bible’s creation story, though I really hated the “garden of Eden” myth, I love the Hindu creation story, the Greek creation story, the Persians, the Sumerians, and the list goes on and on.  These stories all have similar elements but tell the story so differently.  My logical mind argues that these stories are man/woman told to explain things that cannot be explained and I feel this is probably true; but I have always liked a good tall tale; and I read constantly so I will never stop reading or listening to “creation myths”.

However, when any culture starts to establish myths or spiritual learning stories as truth you have a problem.  Here in the south, we live with this problem (issue) even in our public school systems and it does not seem to be something we can escape. On the other hand though, I am a Pagan parent and a HPS and what really seems to "burn my biscuits" is how many Pagans do not know their own creation stories!  Or even if they do, they seem to have difficulty deriving from the stories what it is they are supposed to glean.  It is very important if you are on this path, that you read and learn and re-acquaint yourself regularly with your path's "creation story" there are pearls of wisdom embedded in them so deep that you could grow a whole orchard of magickal breakthroughs if you are patient enough, and still enough to listen.

Today, I am going to try to share with you my version of the Tamerian-Egyptian creation story since this is my path; and then attempt to give you a few things you can instantly pick up and apply to your personal practice. I love this story! Remember, this is my version of it from gleaning through many many mythology texts, so if you will give me the gift of your time...I would appreciate it!

“In a time before time when the universe as we know it did not exist; before my Goddess Isis breathed there was nothing but Chaos.  Everything was a watery void without true structure or form.  All the elements mingled together in a big dark watery marsh, and so it was for eons and eons.  The name of that primordial mass was NUN, yes later he would exist as a God but before he became he existed only as the potentiality of all things.

From this watery blob a lotus flower raised its head, it was strong, its fragrance was pure, its petals were abundant, and it was filled with life.  From its roots eight frogs croaked and sang while the God Ra, manifested as his first form ATUM the beautiful divine child sitting in the heart of the lotus flower. When he was born, the universe was greeted with light for the very first time (and this is how light came into being).  The frogs sang a beautiful song for his appearance and in return Atum-Ra named them and thus divided all the elements (with the naming of something it changes from chaos to be-ing).  Hehu and Hehut were the first, they were fire and life.  Kerh and Kerhet were named, and they were night and chaos.  The final pair of frogs took on the nature of Atum-Ra and became NUN, the primordial force which had given Ra his existence, and for this reason NUN is the parent of the great sun-god even though it was Atum-Ra who gave him form and named him.  The last frog was named ANUM who became part of the soul of Ra, and though he can take on many shapes, it is in this aspect that Ra rules supreme.  Anum once named, gives birth to the Moon Khonsu, the vainest of the Gods.

Now you must understand, heaven did not exist yet, and the earth had not come into being either so when the divine child Atum wanted to step down from his lotus flower there was no where for him to go.  So Atum-Ra transformed himself into a new aspect Khepera, the scarab beetle.  When he did this, he worked “his greatest spell yet” (The Pyramid Texts) which granted him the power of creation itself and Khepera “knew that this was right” (Pyramid texts), and in this rightness he was granted and given the spirit-form of the Goddess MAAT, who is justice and honor, correct thought and behaviors.  It is through speaking, his own secret name, that Ra created the Universe.  

So, Ra in the form of Khepera began to utilize the power of the Scarab and he gathered the watery mass and spoke over it and created new things, everything he spoke became form.  After he had done this, he returned once again to the form of the Atum Ra took his manhood in his hand and emitted two further gods from his semen which lay upon the marsh.  These became the God SHU who is air, and the Goddess TEFNUT who is moisture. When Atum-Ra took in all that he had done, he saw beauty all around him and he was moved so much that he began to cry.  From his tears were born reptiles, and all creeping things, then animals, fish and birds, until at last men and women came into being.  Some texts say that at this point Ra had filled all of creation with his presence and forms of light and life…but he was not done, he transformed once again!  He became KHNUM.  

As the form of KHNUM Ra made the bodies of women and men upon a potter’s wheel.  As Ra manifested himself more and more, his voice became a separate entity and manifested as the God THOTH, the measurer of time, the teacher and mentor of the Gods and Goddesses, who is responsible for many births of divinity.  THOTH became the minister to RA and through using the magickal name of RA that he commanded all that needed to be done, he regulated the seasons, he numbered the days, it is from him we have the concept of time and calendars.  Then he transformed to a Baboon and on that night he invented the art of writing, and became the first master of the magic arts and the teacher of the mystics.  

The tasks of creation began to be taken over by PTAH, the divine architect and personification of the face of RA, and the ram-headed KHNUM.  PTAH formed the solid beneath us, and the vaporous above while KHNUM at the potter’s wheel, formed all the animals and the birds that lived between them.  Because of his task, KHNUM became regarded as the source of life and was worshipped at the waters of the sacred Nile.  After a while, KHNUM became exhausted by his work of molding the physical bodies of each and every living creature and got frustrated calling out for help.  THOTH, being ever wise, suggested that he include inside every female creature a miniature potters wheel in her belly so that they could reproduce themselves without KHNUM having to go to the trouble of completing this task for them.  So he did.  Thus women, posses the same power as the God himself….the power of creation.

Apparently while Ra had been off busy creating the Universe, Shu and Tefnut had been busy “getting it on” because once they had bodies they found that there was something that came with it…lust, and the law of nature that dictates that bodies must mingle and produce offspring.  Their children were GEB, god of the solid earth and NUT, goddess of the sky.  However, when Ra found out that Shu had mated with Tefnut he was infuriated because apparently he had wanted the lady for himself and while he was out working they had acted upon their mutual desire.  So, he decided to separate them by having SHU trample his own son GEB until he became all the land masses in the world, the contours of his body formed the hills, valleys, mountain ranges, deserts and fertile pastures.  NUT was sent soaring upwards to cover the sky, and she became the deity that formed the firmament and provided rain.  Stars adorn her body, her fingers support her arched body in the east, and the tips of her toes dwell in the west, and even now she remains above us still as a celestial body (now called the atmosphere).

Every evening as RA assumes the form of ATUM as the setting sun, Nut swallows him whole and he spends the night within her body only to be re-born as KHEPERA from her womb every morning.  Thus Nut is sometimes thought or called the “true mother of Ra”.  Even after all of this Ra’s jealousy remained, and so he cursed NUT saying that even though Geb had filled her womb with life that she would be unable to bear children upon any day or night of the year. The Goddess was full, ripe, and ready to burst…but there was no relief to be had. She was in perpetual labor, and her cries were heard throughout the universe and all of the Gods knew of her cruel punishment and were scared of Ra.  Except for THOTH, who in all his wisdom thought long and hard upon the matter……………..(TO BE CONTINUED NEXT BLOG)

FACTS and TIPS: 

1. Ra is a sun deity,   He has many titles, but when you start at the beginning it is easier to learn where he got them from, and why!  Order, Order, Order, would be the word that is associated with RA. (Though I am sure he would help you organize a closet he would probably be happier helping you with a BIG project!)

2. The Lotus is a sacred flower to the Egyptians and a symbol of the sun.  Every night the lotus flower closes and sinks underwater, and every morning it rises and opens up again. In Egyptian mythology the color of the lotus flower is mentioned often, when reading Egyptian stories look to see what color they tell you the flower is to add some more layers of spirit reading to your learning house!

3.  When you are starting a creative endeavor Ra would be a great God to work with! ATUM Ra, would be the title you would use when you just are at the very "I have an idea!" phase.  Remember he is a divine child in this phase think of it as like working with your inner child, yet smarter!

4.  Frogs are sacred in Egypt,(study the symbolism of the frog to get a bit more in depth here)  Hehu is the Element of fire ,  Hehut is life (many times you give the gift of a frog to a mother for a newborn baby as a good omen, I love giving egyptian frogs to babies at wiccanings!)  Kerh is night and Kerhet represents chaos.  Nun is the potentiality of all things, and Anum is the soul of Ra.  From all of these facts you can gather information about Egyptian religion, how form and creating is so much more important than potentiality and chaos and how you have a body and a soul and yes they believe they are separate.  How essential it is to realize that chaos exists it is not BAD, per se...but Gods and Goddesses in this path constantly battle, and re-form it to conform to their will.  (Sounds alot like the Wiccan definition of witch does it not?)

5.  Khonsu is the God of the moon.  So it seems not all moons are divinely feminine?  Does this image worry you that of the moon being male? Did you know that we can still find bits and pieces of dark moon rituals to Khonsu?  I still haven't figured out if the Egyptian women participated in blood magick with the moon invoking Khonsu; if you know shoot me an email!

6.  Ra/Khepera is the scarab beetle image, it has a name!  KHEPERA, it is said over and over that the personality of this beetle is to work, and create something from what appears to be nothing! I bet KHEPERA would make a killing on Etsy!

7.  SHU is the God of the Air.  TEFNUT is the Goddess of Moisture or water.  So now you have two deities you invoke in the quarters of your circle if you want!  Or you could ask them to teach you about the mysteries of these elements, or if you are having an issue in one of these elements...guess who you invoke?

8.  MAAT is the Goddess of justice and honor these things are associated with correct thoughts and behaviour to the Egyptians! So before you do that revenge spell, or go out to "defend yourself" from those mean evil witches one town over...maybe you should evoke MAAT!

9.  THOTH measures time, well in modern terms we would say he was a historian or archivist, or possibly someone in archeology?  Hey if you are interested in any of these fields guess who would be really happy if you chose to invoke him?  His personality is that of a teacher and mentor, he created writing!  Wow it seems he could help you if you need help writing blogs, papers, publishing a book! He can help you uncode myths, because he teaches them!  He is the master of Magick, he commands it and knows all secrets of it...as long as he has existed I bet he knows some doozies of what you SHOULD and SHOULD NOT do! He is also wise, funny and clever and very sympathetic to your human feelings and emotions (but this is the subject you will figure out in the second part of the blog)  I bet he can think of creative ways to approach a spell...huh, now this GOD seems like a must know for any Egyptian Pagan student, or witch!

10. KHNUM has the head of a ram and is the God of creation, or people who make pottery!  He also has to do with reproduction it seems!  There are stories in other texts that claim he also can repair you when you feel broken or shattered...so if you have gone through some rough stuff...call out to KHNUM, he is the God who can show you how the light shines better through all your cracks!

11.  PTAH is the divine architect and the face of RA.  Do you think that means that the Golden statue you have of RA is really PTAH? Hmmmmmmm.  I bet if you study architecture or possibly the universe as a physicist PTAH would be the God you would really jive with! I invoke him as one of the Memphis triad Gods in the middle of my circles!

12.  GEB is the name of the earth in the Egyptian pantheon not Gaia!  The earth is male to the Egyptians, so the energy is completely different than most Wiccan paths, so when you ground and draw up energy in this path remember you are drawing up male energy not female, talk to him feel his pores, listen to him, love him well!  NUT is the Sky, the celestial heavens, always stretched over you like an umbrella of protection. The sky in the Egyptian path (and in our real world) is always changing, shifting, and giving birth to new things...thus it must be female!  So the next time you look up at the starry sky say Hi Nut!  I know she would like that.

REFERENCES:   An Egyptian Book of Shadows by Jocelyn Almond, Egyptian Mythology by Geraldine Pinch, Egyptian Gods and Goddesses by Henry Barker, Circle of Isis by Ellen Canon Reed, The Ancient Egyptian Pyramid Texts by R. O. Faulkner, The Egyptian Coffin Texts by James P. Allen.

"Why are you getting schoolin' to figure out who you are? You never see a squirrel askin' why do I gather nuts?"

I have done Magick for as long as I can remember, but I have prayed twice as much as I have ever performed Magick.

Everyone has dreams.  Dreams evolve as you grow.  When you are a little toddler you may dream of joining the circus and riding barebacked ponies, when in kindergarten you may dream to become a movie star; in junior high you may start to dream of being a rock star, in high school you may start to dream of falling in love forever, in college you might dream that you want to become a professor, then after you graduate you may dream of owning your own home, later in life you may dream of traveling overseas…and so the dreams cycle and the merry-go-round turns round and round as you yourself spiral toward a destination.

Dreams are what motivate us to accomplish things; or they can be what devastate us when we “wake up” and realize that for us we do not want to invest the time, the effort, or even pursue what we previously thought was so desirable.  I know I am glad I did not become a bareback pony rider, or meet and get married to the love of my life before high school.  In fact, if any dream I had before the age of thirty had “really become actualized” I would not be writing a blog today; I would not be married to my very handsome wonderful Pagan husband, and I definitely would not have my youngest child Cayden Donovan.  In other words, the years of yearning and longing and plotting, scheming charting and trying different roles and paths on before a certain age was necessary to keep me motivated and walking further down the path but would not be; and have not become the dreams I “woke up” and found myself committed to.

Sometime you stumble upon your dreams…..not looking for them, not planning them out, just listening to the wind in the form of spirit as it whispers in your ear while you are sleeping, as it strokes your hand lightly when you need comfort, as it motivates you to go out and find others who “believe as you do” because something important is going to happen and you are a player in the bigger picture.  A lot of times, when you command dreams they dissipate, but when you are not looking for them they materialize and the next thing you know you have become one with the dream that the God/Goddess had in mind for you before you were ever conceived.  The Gods “choose their own” it has been said during the centuries; and I have to say (that from my perspective) I think they have a wonderful sense of humor.

Did you know that I am a brand new “legal Wiccan/Pagan Clergy”?  Yep, that’s right.  This means that people expect me to know more than I do; and be more perfect than I can possibly be and so I find myself constantly scrambling for information, trying to educate myself better on marriages, relationships, rites of passage, how to listen and communicate better, what impact divorce has on families, the dynamics of small groups, and the list goes on and on.  Like most Wiccan/Pagan Clergy I do not receive an income for what I do; at least in the form of a paycheck with insurance benefits and tangible 401K.  I did not seek out to become a Wiccan Clergy.  It really never ever crossed my mind, not until my husband and some friends of mine mentioned they wanted to start a Legal Wiccan Church.  The various combinations I had been trying out on the “universal locker” clicked; and doors opened and I have never been the same since.

I am a reader, learner, accumulator of knowledge much like the scribes of old.  I love to sit at the feet of teachers and receive their sacraments; I practice what I learn until it becomes second nature or makes my brain explode one of the two.  I have always been driven to the point of near madness in any pursuit much resembling a wild stallion with blinders on.  It is my nature; it is how I am “made”.  When I realized sitting with my comrades and lover that night that the dream of starting a new Wiccan church was something they longed and yearned for; information I had read and acquired over the years came into place.  I invited them over, and shared with them through the stack of materials, print outs, websites, books, and legal documents, how one started a Legal Wiccan church.  I had the information and “the know how”, they had the passion and the dream.  The only thing I did not consider was that to turn that key in the lock of a door would mean that I would become Clergy.

When I realized, after sending out applications to various organizations to make that dream a reality that I would become legal Clergy I panicked.  I did not become excited, I did not “thrill in the power that would now be mine” (you hear people refer to this power all the time and I still scratch my head over it), I cried.  Yep, I cried.  I argued and shook my fist at my Goddess Isis telling her this was not what I had planned for myself.  I told her I did not want more responsibility, or to live my life “under a microscope”.  I reminded her that the “this was not a dream” of mine, but of others.  I thought she ignored me, instead she sent me to other Clergy and Elders in the area (and them to me) that “coddled me, comforted me, instructed me, took me in, and gave me their love, wisdom, and time liberally”.  I have been, and I am still am, fortunate enough to be taught by and surrounded by examples of what “Clergy” is and should be for this Midsouth community and for the world at large.

I am fortunate enough, to sit back and listen to and accumulate the dreams of Elders and founders of other Wiccan churches and sometimes lucky enough to get the opportunity to make them physically materialize.  I have become blessed enough to know very well the originators of many of the dreams that have become solid in this area in the form of “ethics, philosophies, covens, churches, temples”.  I have met in the flesh some of the “fore-runners” who put their lives on the line for my faith, whose families were threatened and yet still survived, who have kept on keeping on and have never let the fire die or the passion for their Gods. These people are one of the main reason I stopped “rebelling” against my Goddess and started “listening to her” more.  If you do not become humbled in the face of “true heroes and heroines” then you are made of materials that are not what I want to partake of.  Once you stop “rebelling and resisting” you start to relax and accept whatever it is you are meant to be.

I pray that I never ever have to put myself or my family in any physical danger to practice my religion; but it could happen.  I pray that no one I know that is Pagan or Wiccan ever has to lose their child in a custody battle because our religion is not “recognized or acknowledged as equal to” other religions in the United States. I pray that there becomes occult stores open in every town, so that people who practice our path can easily gather and buy supplies without worries and persecution. I pray that our path becomes less “Disney witchy” or “Hollywoodized” and more solid and walked which would make it more of a religion than a spiritual path.  Because I believe that our path walked will naturally transform this planet….how could it not?  It transformed me, and thousands before me.

I pray that I learn to accept and become comfortable with the “role” that has been given to me as a precious gift and that I “share the sacraments of the Gods and Goddesses” freely and naturally with others. I pray every day, that I learn to serve better the needs of others and that I listen more and struggle less.  I pray for all that I know that are ill, for those who I love dearly that are going through transitions, I pray for a new budding community that is shooting up faster than I can keep up with.  I pray, not because I am holy, but because I know I have “no idea” clearly on what to do most of the time.  I pray because I have faith, that my Goddess Isis chose me for a reason I cannot comprehend and that when I do not know what to do (which is almost every day) that she will step in and show me what to do; or point me to the knowledge I need so that I can help someone get a leg up.  I pray because prayer is what has gotten me through the deserts in my life.  I have faith that is so strong that I am reminded that I am as “stubborn as a mule” but that this is the faith that can “move mountains”.

Last night, a best girlfriend of mine called me and I found myself crying not only on the inside for her but on the outside.  She is not only going through a tough time, but she is being pushed by her Gods to try on a “new role” and I know that it will be so much better for her than what she even comprehends (because I have been there many times myself). I cried because I also know that it will be so much harder for her than what she previously knew.  I wish I could have held her in my arms, pulled her up in my lap, laid her head on my shoulder and patted her on the back and told her…”it is all going to be okay”.  I told her this verbally, but a voice is a poor substitution for physical touch.  I can only do so much for her over the phone, listen, tell her what she needs to know and hear, send her letters, cards of encouragement, check on her constantly, pray for her incessantly…but maybe that is all Isis wants me to do.  It is all my limited human brain can think of; but I know if I pray and listen Isis will share with me the “perfect thing” for my friend.

Sometimes you wake up from a dream to realize you are living a dream that is bigger than you and more than you could ever conceive of ; in that moment give thanks because if you find yourself in that situation realize that the divine wants better for you than you could ever want for yourself.  No human is perfect, life ain’t easy, and dreams can’t be commanded, but if you pray and ask…you will receive guidance.  I am so happy to know that underneath the thick batter of religion one thing we all share is the Power of Prayer. 

Thank you for the gift of your time, and I pray that you will never forget how power-full Prayer can be!

It ain't nothing new, but it is to you because you are thicker than a mule when it comes to learnin'

We are going to shift gears, since the turning of the wheel is in flux and now talk about the next Wiccan Holy day/Sabbat that many of us will celebrate Lughnasa.  While I have been told my many of my readers, that they read my blogs for different reasons I think we can all agree that when it comes to “Sabbats” no matter what your path, many of us celebrate them or adapt them for our own use.  If you did not know, my path is Egyptian and so it would seem that with a Celtic oriented wheel of the year I would be left out.  However, like anything on this path I have been forced (it’s a figure of speech) by the Universe to observe and celebrate Sabbats in a way I would not necessarily do in my personal practice for the greater good of others and in the service of the God's and Goddesses' Temple.  We all know there is a lesson here, but that is not the what I want to talk about today…today I want us to re-discuss and re-examine ONE god…Lugh.

Years ago, when I first discovered this path I started off primarily a nature observer and working with primal nature forces. The people I knew (including my Mamaw) that used “nature magic” or “dirt magic” did not pray to a particular deity just “mother” or “goddess” or “god”.  So it came as a wonderful “extra surprise” to me when I figured out that there were thousands of deities out in the world that had been worshipped; many had been forgotten and many were living and breathing and walking around. I loved the act of “discovering” and “getting to know” these new spirits, and I still do!  The biggest problem I found I had to overcome once I was older was transferring and translating the “ancient portrayal of a God or Goddess” to “modern times”.  As a teacher, I find that establishing an intimate relationship with deity is often thwarted by this same “issue” that I had to learn as I grew up.

So I am going to tell you a story, you may have heard it, but I am hoping to flesh it out for you in a new way.  This is the story of Lugh.  Lugh, was a “wright” and this means in a modern terms a man who created, built, and repaired things.  He could have been a playwright or a carpenter, an electrician, or a roofer, a captain of a barge, a maker of jewelery or a mechanic but one thing he definitely was…was a worker and I am sure he tackled all of these previous jobs at one time or another in his life.  Lugh is the God of work and the Master of all arts and crafts; and like many of us living in the 21^st century it seems that he sought out jobs he was interested in and  mastered them. Once he "leveled up and out" in that job, he got bored and then applied for another job and started a "new career" thus his life would be full of various careers ever shifting and growing like most of us now.  Today, we live in the modern technological age; and there is Lugh who seems as if he stepped right out of the agrarian age and wants access to a new world that has left him behind…..or has it?

There was a HUGE house party being thrown in Memphis,Tennessee that all the cool Pagan people were invited to come and participate in thrown ironically enough, on Lughanasa.  However, for some reason it seems that the Host and Hostess of this big shindig forgot to invite the God Lugh.  It was a serious oversight, but an understandable one since not many of us really believe that Gods walk and talk amongst us anymore like the “old ones” did.  And so it was that Lugh decided to make the Host and Hostess and the community aware of this oversight gently.  He decided to come to Memphis, Tennessee that weekend and participate and throw down at the HUGE Pagan party.  Lugh came up and knocked on the door of this “happening place”.  He was greeted at the door, by one of the local Pagans and told that “he was not cool enough” or “what they were looking for” in the area so he best be going since they did not know him.  However, Lugh being deity and not a typical human decided to argue the point; whereas most humans would slink off and be “shunned” by their peers.

“ So what is it that makes one cool enough in this Pagan community to come and be part of your group?”  Lugh asks.  “Well you have to have a perfect lineage that we can track; and you have to be wear the right clothes, and have the same kind of hair as all of us, and you have to do things “our way” though we do not share that way with outsiders; and well you better be able to prove you have some ‘mean skills in the magick department and brag about them constantly’ for you to be one of us.”  Lugh was told by the doorman.  Lugh laughs, “I see” he says while scratching his beard.  “Well, I am a blue-collar man primarily who comes from no place you have heard of, who possesses the skills of just work.”  Lugh says.  The Pagan at the door looks at him and says….”what kind of skills, and where did you get them from?”  Lugh says, “I posses the skill of going into any situation and sizing it up, and seeing what needs to be done and doing it without instructions.  I work for others well and enjoy working for and in groups. I get my skills from the Universe, this physical plane, and myself.”  The Pagan looks interested but says…”Well we have plenty of Clergy already in this community, Highpriest’s and Highpriestesses galore, Elders aplenty, and I do not know you so (even though you look older than me)  none of those skills count.” 

“I possess the gift of story telling in a way that makes people learn and hear the words of the Gods they could not hear or comprehend before, and people love to learn through stories you know. I came by this skill through listening to spirit and by plugging into the Universal station of thought.”  Lugh says to the Pagan door man. “Well, we have plenty of people in our community that have been published, and like I said I do not know you at all so you aren’t really convincing me here.”  The Pagan says arms crossed across his chest.  Lugh smiles and winks and then says “Well, I posses the gift or ritual and magick, I can raise energy and cast it in ways you have never seen…I am willing to share these skills with your group because I love to share.  I learned these skills through years of hard work, practice, discipline, and dedication but none of your people in that room have taught me.”  “We have plenty of people that can do magick here; surely you know that we are all Pagan” the young Pagan says with a sneer.  “I posses the skills of song and dance, I can sing you to tears or to joy, I can show you how rhythms underlie everything and how when faced with challenges how to dance through them all.  I share this skill with some of my brothers and cousins, it's sort of a lineage thing, ”  Lugh adds.  The Pagan getting irritated says…”I have no idea why those skills would add to a community and I would like to get back to my group would you please hurry up.” 

So Lugh, being a God and clever, looks the man straight in the eye and says…”Do you have a person who is master of all theses skills amongst you?”  The Pagan hesitates and starts to take time to think…and realizes they do not.  “No sir, we do not…and this means?”  Lugh takes his hand, and extends his index finger and thumps the young man on the third eye….”this means, you need to include me in your gathering Young Pagan for this is my day; and I am the God that should be honored above all others in your crib.”  The Pagan looks at the middle aged man before him, in dirty jeans and a “not traditional hippy pagan clothing” and says…”Okay, but if the others don’t agree with your claim out you go.”  Lugh smiles, and saunters in and the party becoming instrumental in changing the landscape of that community completely and moving it into a more positive progressive direction.  For Lugh is, after all, a God and the master of work and all trades and he is determined to prove to us all…that he is not antiquated just not recognized that often.

Now I know, this is not my typical Southern Fried fare; and I hope you find yourself smiling at this tale because Southerners do love a good story.  Most importantly though, I want you this Lughnasa to celebrate and look for this “god” in the men and women around you.  He dwells in the workers; he is clever, funny, and smart.  He is always striving, growing, reaching, and mastering a new thing.  May we all grow to be more like Lugh, and may he come to all of our community gatherings this Lughnasa.  Lastly, but most importantly.....

Thank you, as always, for the gift of your time!

She looks madder than a wet hen, and more ashamed than a dog that messed on the rug!

It should be stated that here in the United States of America poverty is directly linked to the Bible Belt.  What is the Bible Belt exactly?  It is a part of the United States where strict fundamentalist Christianity dominates and dictates life, school educations, and social norms. The Bible belt are the “slave states” that changed into the Bible belt in the latter half of the second century.  Of course, we all know that these same states fought it out publicly on television and with the court systems refusing to give other races equal rights, and genders; even after the laws were passed it was not until 1970 that full integration of schools occurred in the South.  Because of this, hundreds of churches overnight started and founded schools so that they could keep their white children segregated from the other races.  Of course, they argued it was to teach them fundamentalism…but funny thing, I never went to school with anyone of any other race until college.  NEVER.

That being said, ashamedly so, I am going to delve into a personal issue that I have this week also shared with the Pagan friends around my age (we are all ashamed of how our parents and grandparents speak of other races and it seems we cannot control them or stop them from doing so).  Yep we are ashamed of a part of our Southern heritage, many of us wish we never ever had to see another confederate flag (because it represents to us our ancestors fighting for slavery) or ever have to see another movie about civil rights, or see another collection of “aunt jemima” dolls, or better yet the “slave boy” statues that many people here of means still place in the yards.  I wish I could tell you that people in the south do not still try to “recreate the war” but they do, and I cannot figure out why…why won’t they just dig a big hole and bury that part of our history…it is shameful to the future Southerners.  We might could forget all about it, if they would let it go and move on with their lives…and I pray to the Goddess the “south does not rise again Hank Williams, Jr!”.  Because IF the south won the war, one race would be slaves and I am against slavery.

You see, this is something no one wants to touch or talk about our parents that still say the “N” word or say “colored people” and talk about the good old days; and explain how all the problems in society (meaning the south of course) started happening the day we let “them” go to school with us…because of course they made our children more like “them”.  “They” (meaning all other races than white) have also taken our jobs, and caused all the crime, “ all the stereotypes that are negative I can think of are associated with THEM”.  Yes, you can still over hear people here saying words that make you blush, or cower in shame.  This is why many of us moved away at a young age (me and many others I know), because we were ashamed of our southern heritage, we were not proud of that hicky slang, of the civil war, of segregation, racism, and sexism…we were MORTIFIED and more shamed than a dog that messed on the rug!

I am not mortified any more; nor ashamed of my drawl.  I hated the south and my heritage so bad though I tried as hard as I could to get rid of my drawl, and went out of my way to raise my child in a different environment and never use “bigoted words” about other races.  I found to my greatest irony that out of all the places in the world I hated I could think of not place I hated more than…Memphis, Tennessee there was a reason for this but once again that is another blog.   REMEMBER the Gods have a great sense of humor.

I was angrier than a wet hen about living here, so angry that I could not stop clenching my jaw or gritting my teeth every time someone asked me  “what church I went to”* (the latter being one of the top three questions people ask you around here to supposedly get to know you better)  I was so angry about being here, that I stayed where I was renting most of the time, and re-decorated that house and yard every day working up a sweat hoping that in between the hard labor and my job I would finally get that anger out of me. I felt there was no one I wanted to meet here, no one I wanted to learn from here (pagan wise remember my Mamaw had died and my pagan buddies not living here), I cockily thought I knew what all southerners were about because I had been raised here, and that if I was angry and pouted about living here long enough the Gods would transfer me. None of this of course worked, but PRAYER eventually did. 

I was so angry about being “forced by the courts and life and I felt the Gods” to be here that I even refused to work in the industry I loved but made sure I got a job that would work me physically long and hard. It was if I thought if I were “angry enough” maybe the gods would get the hint and move me out of here, but that anger changed to maybe if I were “mean enough” to myself and did not enjoy anything in the city of Memphis the Gods would pay attention and get me out of here.  Ironically enough, the shift of anger and energy was not something I was really conscious of, but was something that naturally transitioned within my being because anger when held on to, and nurtured grows like a virus within you transforming you and making you a person you do not recognize.

I found that when the anger transitioned from clenching the jaw to just digging in a shovel and sweating it out I then was able to cry.  Cry, I did as I shoveled, and planted Irises, moved buttercups, and transplanted azalea bushes. I thought I was crying for myself because I felt sorry for myself being forced here…but what I was really crying for was to heal the wounds that I had received or imagined here from childhood that had “skewed” my vision about this area of the United States.  When the yard was done that hot, steaming summer, it was gorgeous and I was done being angry; and I was tired of talking about it and crying.  I got busy, and  I truly and earnestly asked Isis to help me not help me move. Later that day, when I was thumbing through a senseless car magazine a sticker fell out and when I read it I cried and it gave me the shivers it said BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.  I immediately placed the sticker on my car and wrote the words out on sticky notes, and placed them all over my home.

So I asked the Gods and Isis to help me and they told me instead to “Bloom where I was planted” they weren’t going to make my ex-husband move again and transfer me out of here?  What was that all about?  But instead of being a selfish maiden and demanding my way from the Gods…I stopped, took a breath and listened.  I looked at that phrase, saw the challenge and knowing they knew how hard that would be for me took it up.  I started going out and doing things I knew I would enjoy, art museums, seeing bands, film festivals.  I went to the book stores and started hanging out in the new age section, and the next thing you know I met someone, and she introduced me to another someone, and then I realized I was enjoying myself, having fun, and was able to worship with another group of people once again.  BTW that girl’s name was Brenda Waldron and she will never have any idea, how pivotal she was to changing my life at that point on my timeline. 

We all started going to open meetups looking for more people to join our group, and then started looking for churches…telling them we were “new to the whole Pagan church thing” because we were, but I was growing, and I had friends, and I had no idea that was how easy it was…because you know I was certain that growing in Memphis, Tennessee was near to impossible.  Eventually, I got a job I loved.  Eventually I met my husband (at a meetup), eventually I met elders (on a board at a library was a index card which made me call Trudy Herring way before I knew about her church), eventually I started to slowly bloom where I was planted.

Seven years later, almost eight I am married (not buried) a co-founder of a church, own a home, have a new baby, have a pagan community just as good as or not better than the one I knew before, and the Gods and Isis was right.  If I stopped ruminating and letting anger tear me up…I would discover my secrets.  Guess what?  I am not ashamed of being southern anymore!  I don’t tell cynical sarcastic jokes about southerners (well unless I have had a few margaritas and I think I am funny which I probably am not)!  I find that the drawl that once annoyed me soothes me, especially rolling off the lips of my friends and my lover Brian.  If I can do that, anyone can…and I find now that when I am angry it does not well up in me and drive me like a fire…it fizzles out like a match that I struck and the wind blew out.  Life is good for me here, I am glad I planted roots here, and proud that finally I am blooming in more ways than one.

SPELL TO TRANSFORM NEGATIVE/ENERGY to POSITIVE energy (originally shared with me by Anne Pelloth)

• let it be noted that originally this spell was created to help you transform energy that is negative beings sent to you and make it positive but I have used it to transform my negative angry energy to positive and it worked just as well*

Items needed:  One BLACK jar candle, One BROWN jar candle, and One WHITE jar candle (Table salt or Sea salt whichever you prefer)

I burn sage for purification during this spell on charcoals in my cauldron

Draw a line pointing going from left to right and at the end of that line (this would be the right make a arrow sign >) so it should look like this ---------------à

Place the Black candle first on the left

Place the Brown candle next in the middle

Place the White candle last above the arrow or even after it

*Draw a circle

*Invoke your patron deity tell them the point of the spell and ask for their assistance

*Take the Black candle and pour all your pain and sorrow and anger into it ask your deities to make sure you do not miss a speck of it!  SEE the black particles of anger and negativity leaving your body and entering that candle when done place it back on the altar.

* Now light the Black candle and say “this is all my hate, anger, and negativity and I am asking the universe to transform this energy into positive energy…So mote it be”

*Now light the Brown candle and say “this candle transmutes and changes all my negative energy into positive energy to better assist me and the universe…So mote it be”

*Lastly, light the White candle and say “this candle is what my energy will look like once it has transformed and as this candle burns it will release all my positive energy back into the universe and to me, making me the best person my higher self, and deity want me to be…So mote it be”

Have the candles burn all the way down ( I put mine in the shower/bathtub a lot to be safe and because I have to leave and go places) after they have burned down know that everything is better, and that you have within you the power to change negative things into positive.

Lastly, if you were like me and feeling angry, frustrated, or stuck in a situation place or job…remember this one thing.  You can always find the best, You can always bloom anywhere even in sand, and Your Gods love you no matter what…but they are not going to give you what you “demand like a petulant child stomping his or her foot” that is not the point of a relationship; and you have to put in time, prove yourself and do it consistently for years until they hand you more responsibility.  Hang in there though, life can and will get better and try the spell and tell me how it works for you! I hope that like me, you too learn how to BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.

Just between you and me and the Fencepost....

Everyone has something they are ashamed of.  I have pondered with age, where shame comes from.  Is it something the Gods plant in your like a seed?  Is it your culture that hands it to you in bushels?  Is it what your momma uses on you to get you to “remember your raising”?  The truth is as elusive to me as “How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop”.  But here in the South, digging up people’s shame and displaying it for the entire world to hear and see has been a past time for as long as I can remember. The joke being it usually starts with the line "bless her heart, or my my my..."

I would like to tell you that this only happens in the Baptist churches, or the Methodist ones.  Just like I would like to say that only Baptists and Catholics fight like the Yankees and Rebs did…but that would be a flat out lie.  Pagans, are no different than any other religion; for some reason they too have fighting, and feuding, they also have  people that “are slicker than snakes” and people that are “meaner than a wild boar”.  Of course, we cannot use the “normal” reasons for our issues or gossip that you hear other religions having so we name it something fancy like “a witch war”.  But, in reality “Poo is Poo no matter what you name it” (most southerners would have used a cruder word here but you catch my drift). I am ashamed of this.  It is the huge boil on the face of this community; and we need to create a cure!

Yep, that is right.  I think that a people that have so many other people picking at them for their religious choices like blackbirds looking for scraps on bones should not “fight amongst themselves”.  It is ridiculous.  However, no matter where you look there are always people “stirring up the shite” and the more you stir that we all know the “worse it stinks”.  Now, if you expect that when you found a coven, or church here in the South you are going to get a pat on the back…you would be wrong.  Instead, you are usually met with outsiders asking you about “your lineage” and “who are you to do anything” but like most things in life…you have to let it roll of you like water on a “duck’s back”.  Of course I would claim regularly oiling your feathers (practicing your own faith) will help it roll of more quickly and surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and you can trust will get you far…but you know it should not be this way.

I am calling a “tater a tater” because that is just what it is.  Everyone knows it happens in our communities it is what drives people to become solitaires or what motivates people to start their own covens or Churches.  I guess the thinking is that if you “form your own group” then you can ignore the mess being created around you.  But, you cannot.  Now, I am not saying that I am “better than anyone else” that I have “never wallowed in the pig pen” because that would be a flat out lie…and you may not like what I say here or anywhere else; but I am not a liar; I am known in over four counties to be about the most flat spoken “southerner” you have ever met.  Remember, I told you I was ashamed, but to be ashamed means you have identified that you “did something you think was wrong” and I think “spreading rumors and lies about your own kind” is something you should be ashamed of.  I am stating here for the record I am not nor have I been "spreading lies" about my own anymore but like every human being I know I have engaged in "mudslinging" in my past which gives me a right to talk about it.

Now, I am not your momma and I may not be your Highpriestess and granted this is my blog and my opinion and truth is considered relative to the individual in the perpetual state of existential reality…but I say Pagans slandering other Pagans damages a community it does not build it up.  Our community is small, and growing larger and breeding faster than a rabbit every day.  We are a religion/philosophy/theology/spiritual path (pick one that does not rub you the wrong way) that promotes living in harmony with the earth/spirit/energy/others (pick one that you feel resonates with you) and teaches that we what you send out comes back (and we all know this is just common sense whether you call yourself witch/pagan/wiccan/new ager/etc).

I am worried we have become so “individualized” and “stylized” and “big nosed pagan” that we have forgotten what brought this movement out of the “broom closet” to begin with and made most of us fall in love with it.  Words like “community” and “family” are used most often by people who are either elders here or “happy in their “coven/church/triad” and while we all may be in different families there is no reason for us to feud like we are in a Hillbilly movie, we are not living out the comic strip Dogpatch and I know none of our names here are Hatfield or McCoy.

Sometimes shame is a good thing…sometimes shame stops us from repeating our actions, sometimes people telling an elder or Highpriestess or a friend “I am ashamed of you” makes them embarrassed and stops them cold, makes them turn red, and slowly but surely melts the anger in their heart and transforms it into and apology. What I am worried about, is the people that feel NO shame at being mean, spreading rumors and lies about others who drink from the same well of the Goddess and God as they do. 

“Let me tell you a story…” was a famous line used by an Elder here who always told a story with a moral lesson.  She is not with us now, but she more than anyone I know taught me (and many others who she called her children) that while we were from different families what we had in common is what should make us be decent to one another.  So, what if the only thing we have in common is that we are all Pagan?  What if the only thing we have in common is that we are a minority religion in a place called the “Bible Belt” for good reason. What if every time we thought of that other Pagan, or saw that other “witch” we saw the God or Goddess in them…rather than note how they said “such and such” or we “heard this or that” about them?

Do you know how this all stops?  I do, with us.  We all start acting like “we have some raising”.  We stop, take a deep breath and think before we say something, or post it on a public forum.  We stop individualizing and categorizing ourselves to the degree that we create a feudal system where solitaire is “less than” triad and triad less than coven and coven less than church, and so on. We, myself is in this we…take a vow, and say…I love my Goddess, I love my God, and today and every day for the rest of my life I am going to strive to do something that sounds simple but is very very hard.  I am going to try my best to love the God and Goddess in every person I meet, talk with, listen to, read on Facebook, Twitter and I will give my fellow sister and brothers a “break” and stop “trying to be the God or Goddess” and judge them…I am going to promote harmony. It’s that simple, and yet that hard.

 Just between you and me and the fencepost, once you take a shame or guilt and expose it to the light it dissipates and “poof” reintegrates into the original source.  It’s all energy folks; we are the ones labeling it.  I label you and yours God and Goddess…will you do the same for me?