A goal is not always something to be reached; it often serves as something you are meant to aim at. --Bruce Lee

I love the artist Tara Mchperson!  I own some of her handsigned Rock and Roll posters from back in the day when she really needed the money.  What I love most about them is that she always addresses the VOID.  You can find that sad, or beautiful, or tragic, but I see it as REAL.

There are periods in your life when you feel as if you are just walking about like a zombie in a void.  You get up take a shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, drink coffee, go to work, get home, eat, watch TV, go to bed, REPEAT.  You do this routine every day until the weekend comes then you get up, do chores, run errands, watch a little TV or play on the computer, go out with friends, REPEAT.  This is one way this cycle manifests and I am not criticizing this cycle. Some people find bliss in this cycle or repeat rotation but not me.

Another option:  You go to school every day striving for a goal, and working a little part time job or NOT working a job and having your partner do all the work so you can just concentrate on school. You come home and do homework every night then go to bed and get up the next day to do the same thing REPEAT.  The weekends are spent doing homework, hanging out only to start the same routine again on Monday REPEAT.  This routine is slow, steady and lasts as long as it takes until you either give up or finish school to get your goal/degree. Once again, this is not a BAD routine I am just showing you how it is common in our lives.

Other scenarios:  You get married, have kids, do laundry, do dishes, go grocery shopping,  cook meals, take care of your children (wash them, teach them, discipline them, play with them), take care of your pets and plants (the same as children), only to finally after they are all asleep and tucked away YOU go to bed, get up the next day and start the same. REPEAT, WASH<RINSE> REPEAT.

ROTATION:  I feel that life works not only in cycles but in patterns of rotation.  Yes, like a wheel or gears, or part of machine…however you want to state it.  It is what you do when in the rotation; or how you perceive the rotation that is integral to how you “escape” or “supersede” it.  Some people say they take comfort in patterns and routines this in itself is a way of overcoming a rotation so you do not get bored.  Myself, I am easily bored.  I discovered this about myself at an early age.  So I would read voraciously, be involved in way too many activities, and run around the block with excess energy pretending I was a horse or a marathon runner whichever one came to mind first when galloping.

I got bored in my spiritual life magically speaking (apparently I am a social witch), then I founded a coven and that kept me busy.  I got bored in my spiritual life again (I had done the covens, groves and circles) then the opportunity arose to help co-found a Wiccan church and that has really kept me busy.  Just when it was getting launched and flying like a rocket I came to the discovery that in some areas I was still bored.  I needed and wanted more not out of others but for myself.  The other clergy started running more circles so I could participate and learn; I teach students so that kept me busy learning also; I was not learning what I needed to learn in my heart. To find out what that was I had to step back, stop being “so busy” and listen; really listen to my higher self and to my Gods. “What was I doing wrong” I asked? What I did not ask was, “What was I doing right?”

 I went outside to our circle and starting approaching things differently, I know my elements, I know my Gods, I know how to raise and manipulate energy, I understand intensity and vibrations.  I made myself start “reflecting” on other options; I shook up my comfort zones and questioned them.  I spoke to my deities and told them that while I would always love them that I needed a bit more and I did not understand what was missing I did not understand my void.  I explained that I loved the Temple, I loved teaching classes, I loved my husband and children and all the things they had given me but I was at a pivotal point in my own personal life and that I needed something specific.  I was scared to say it out loud, it seemed wrong somehow to ask for a deeper personal spiritual life for myself but once it was said I felt pressure easing off me like a ton of bricks and I realized that was what I needed. I needed to be honest, I had a life too, I did not exist just to serve other humans and the Gods I also existed to serve myself and my heart else how could I serve others?  My void was stated, my needs were clear, my Gods came through.

A teacher landed in my lap.  The first thing he asked me was…”How was my circle balanced?”  I could answer that, but it made me stop.  I thought and thought, and came back to let him know that I did not like the concept of balance in a “traditional wiccan circle” for myself and this made me feel guilty.  I wanted one type of circle for me, and another for the Temple but I knew he would not have been prompted to ask me if there was not a reason for it.  I sat down and drew for him all the circles I knew and I have to brag here I was amazed at the wealth of maps of circles I knew and the amount of circle styles I knew and this explained my void.  I told him how just recently I had an “epiphany” about how to divide the circle in different quadrants eight to be exact, and how it corresponded to my deities, and how historical this number came up and up again.  I showed him all the old maps from John Dee, Aleister Crowley, Plutonius, mystics in Egypt, and they all had divisions and symbols and balance but were not what I was looking for even though I had tried them and understood them. That was my void.

He nodded left, came back a few days later and had a puzzle.  He took all eight pieces showed me different ways of laying them out and then explained to me where my issues were arising and I realized I was not bored, just resigned and blocked.  I needed another fresh perspective to push me, to cheer me on, to tell me it was okay for me to want to “make my own alchemical circles” and yes I could “combine Egyptian deities” and Yes I had “to release pre-conceived notions” and that it was Okay.  He also had eight quadrants, and he approached everything differently than me but that could me my “launching point” not the end of my destination.  I felt peace and pieces fall together I had to voice my feelings and confront my void to get to my destination.

I have worked with him now for about a month; he patiently listens to me and prods me, questions me, then pushes me.  I needed a teacher, I needed a guide, I needed someone to step in and push me when I had already passed the “degree system” that is earned and taught in Wiccan traditions.  I needed someone to help me after I had ran covens, and helped co-found a church.  I wanted to be good just to be good.  I wanted to “supersede myself” have my “own style” and leave behind my own “circle maps”.  The Gods are okay with that. What I find myself asking is “why was I so silly as to not realize that they would be?’ Why did I assume that it was not okay for me to push boundaries just to push boundaries? Have you too gotten so caught up in life, that you have forgotten this truth? 

I told you I hated routines and boredom, some people hate it so bad they fill those voids with drugs and alcohol; or with drama from people or groups (they are the instigators of it yet they will blame it on others), some people fill this with love or passion or sex, some people with creations and art, some people fill it with pain and suffering and are always hurting and crying, some people fill it with a new project and a new job, some people fill it with exercise, some people project it onto others therefore they are perpetually angry and mad, there are millions of ways to fill your voids some unhealthy for you and some very good for you.  But, you cannot ever see it if you do not stop and listen to yourself and look at yourself objectively and question the void, your role in it, and its role in you.

I was taken to the Void on a journey this week.  It was not empty, it was not scary, and I understand the void better now.  I looked at it and saw vast possibilities, I understood the voids role in my life and in the universe and I felt happy in my heart.  The void is not your or my enemy it exists for many reasons but the one we have trouble comprehending is this; there is a VOID only if you let it exist.  You need the void.  You need it to create, and to fail, and to soar, and to fall.  You need it to see that you are dissatisfied, and that you need to learn and grow.  You need the void to rest because you are tired and you are pushing yourself too hard.  You need the void to understand that you have to think, you have to plan, you have to be active, and you cannot just “exist” as a big void you have to create.  Lastly, you have to understand that the “void” is unique to you…it’s there to push you on, to help you discover your “mission” and your “gift”.

This week, look for your VOID.  This week, realize that if you think you do not have one you do.  Find that void, empty it out of all your pre-conceived notions and “ways of being and doing”.  Make friends with your void, but do not become too comfortable with it else you do nothing at all.  Life is full of creation and void.  Life is full of construction and destruction.  Life is full of rotations and learning.  Somewhere within yourself and outside of yourself is a balance.  Where is your circle balanced?  Mine is balanced within me.

Thank you for the gift of your time, and for listening.  I pray you find the balance you seek and that you make friends or at least peace with the VOID.

  

That'll do me.......

Nut, the sky mother’s belly was full with creation, but because of Ra’s jealousy and rage he cursed her so that she could not give birth to her creations on “any day of the year” and all the gods knew her pain because they listened to her constant groans and torment as they echoed across the heavens.  But Thoth, being the God of wisdom realized this was not best for the whole…and so he thought long and hard on the matter and transformed himself into a baboon.  

As the playful baboon Thoth went to Khonsu, the God of the moon, and starting to entertain him with jokes and antics like the first court jesters.  As the moon boat dipped in the West Thoth, the baboon gracefully jumped aboard and sailed with Khonsu to the depths of the underworld.  While he rode in the boat with Khonsu he entertained the God with sounds, and pictures and revealed to him the art of writing.  Khonsu was enamored with this skill and told Thoth that he would “give him anything he desired” if he would only share this magic with him.  Thoth, sly and wise, told Khonsu that he only wished to play a game of dice.  Laughing, Khonsu agreed and so Thoth the baboon and Khonsu the moon began to play the game of dice.

At first, Khonsu rolled the best scores and the baboon jumped up and down complimenting the round faced God on his skills, and this pleased Khonsu whose ego was stroked enough that he agreed to the suggestion of wagers to make the game more interesting.  At first only fruits and shells were wagered on the outcome of the dice games; and Khonsu won again and again.  After a while, Thoth suggested the gamble for higher stakes and Khonsu again agreed and this time they played for gold and for silver.  So the game went on, day upon day, month upon month, for almost a full year.  During this time, Nut the sky mother’s shrieks of pain were still heard throughout the universe.

Khonsu continued winning the game gaining more and more treasures so the baboon God Thoth suggested they increase the wager for just a little of the moon’s light.  Khonsu, hesitated a moment, yet he looked at all of his winnings and feeling confident and taking in the flattery of Thoth agreed to the wager.  The game was on….Thoth blew on the dice and said: 

“Bones, Bones, roll as you may. Your numbers choose both night and day.  Where the power of sky and stars hold sway, cause these bones to roll my way, Roll for me this day, Roll for me this day.” (Tamerian spell for gambling)

Luck was with Thoth, the God of Magick, and Khonsu groaned each time Thoth won the roll giving up more and more of his light to the God.  After a while, his face became thinner and thinner but he played on confident that the luck would change in his favor and the days rolled on.  Thoth, rolled and rolled, winning enough light for five extra days and since he was the measurer of time he decided to add these on to the end of the year that RA had created.  Laughing, and whooping Thoth bowed deeply and swiftly took his leave from the God Khonsu and leaped on the Moon boat and transformed himself into the Ibis (his sun form which is that of a bird); and jumped.  He soared higher and higher in his bird-form until he reached NUT. 

 

<Because of this dice game the moon waxes and wanes for Thoth never did give Khonsu back his full moon power. It is also because of this game that Thoth has the power of moon and sun. It is also the reason why there are 365 days in a year!.>

 

Thoth called out for Tauret the hippo Goddess and the dwarf-god Bes to assist him in the labor of Nut and delivery of these God children.  It took five days, exactly as much as Thoth had won for each child to be born and as each child was delivered into the universe, Thoth blessed each and gave them their names so that they would be counted among the company of the Gods.  The first child born on the first day was named Osiris the Good, and the universe cried out and said “the Lord of the whole world”  had just been born.  The second day saw the birth of the heroic Horus, Horus the elder, who was most like his grandfather Ra.  The third day saw the birth of the red-headed Set and in him was chaos and wildness of energies.  On the fourth day the Goddess Isis was born, and on the fifth day Nephthys the dark eyed goddess came forth blessing all the previous children but she lavished her highest praise on her brother Set.  

After all of this was done, the heavens earth and sky were fulfilled and set into their proper places.  All the creatures that lived were following their instilled natures and all the Gods that took care of them had taken their stations. Thus, Ra, being the first and creator of it all became bored and weary of eternity; he looked at the impermanence and the excitement of mortal men and women’s lives and felt envy and longing.

The Gods lived in the palace of Ra removed from man and woman, knowing nothing of suffering or joy immortal, beautiful, and bored.

Lessons from the Hands of Thoth:

* Never judge by appearances!  Thoth while he is the god of wisdom and magick, also realizes a power we humans should be aware of…the power of utilizing aspects of ourselves that we need to when we want to obtain a goal.  The power of tom-foolery and making “a monkey” out of ourselves is a good one.  Maybe from time to time we should take ourselves less seriously; maybe we should be willing to shake a tail feather, and lose from time to time knowing that every thing is not important what is important is the end result.

* Listening to the pain and suffering of those around us is important, but doing something for them to ease their pain and suffering is more important.  Thoth took time to plan and to take action and because of this he was successful!  He was also very patient taking over a whole year to get the results he wanted, but determination and wisdom means that sometimes you do not get immediate results.

* Thoth is a God who is not only wise, but is also a trickster.  You know the trickster God the one that gives you what you want but leads you down a crazy path to get there!  Or shows you how you really don’t want what you think it is you want…oh that is wisdom.  Hmmmm wonder if contemplating your personal ideas of wisdom and a “trickster” might blur the lines between the two?

* How is it that Khonsu lost? He got cocky, he let his ego be fed in a way that made him not take notice that he was being stroked and led in a certain direction.  His ego was WAY too big!  Do not be so foolish as to listen to all those “compliments” and people that are “stroking your ego” be cautious!  Sure you should surround yourself with people that are not unhealthy and mean to you; but you should also surround yourself with people who are honest and tell you the hard truths whether you want to hear them or not.  Khonsu’s ego was huge, and this was his downfall make sure you too are always grounded else your ego will lead to your downfall!

*If you practice this path, then learning the calendar is easier if you remember this story.  Knowing who the Enneads are and the roles of many of your deities becomes common place if you remember who does what.  Tauret looks like a Hippo but she is a Goddess of midwifery!  Bes, is a dwarf but he assisted in the delivery!  If you are pregnant, or assisting in a Wiccaning or friends with a female and you follow this path a gift of Bes or Tauret would be in line would it not?

*Set is not the Devil, he is not “bad”.  In our modern 21^st century culture we have been programmed to see things as extremes: white or black, good or bad, rich or poor, etc.  But Set is described as Chaos and primordial energy not tamed or focused…sounds a lot like our lives and us as practioner’s of magick that are trying to constantly learn does it not?  Why not study Set, get to know him and realize there are other aspects and characteristics of him that might interest you.  Did you know he was considered the God of trading, God of the Desserts, also the God of foreign languages?  Egyptian Gods have lived so long their characteristics and complexities defy human understanding at times; yet help us flesh them out to be more than “stereotypes” but “archetypes” and isn’t that what a spiritual path is all about?

* Know your creation story. Use it as a tool to teach you, to instruct you, to make you smile, laugh, take delight in it!  It is a story after all, and it is customized by the Gods for you…your mind and spirit will gain things from it that no other person on earth will ever grasp!  You are a wonderful unique vessel…and the Gods envy you at times.

If you want to learn about the Egyptian Calendar and the creation story then try these:Egyptian Mystics: Seekers of the Way by Moustafa Gadalla, Egyptian Cosmology the Animated Universe by Moustafa Gadalla, and Egyptian Rhythmn: The Heavenly Melodies by Moustafa Gadalla

Lastly, not least imporantly...THANK YOU for reading, and freely giving me the gift of your time!