They are as happy as if they had good sense.

Yule passed.  The log was burned, gifts were exchanged and the new year of the Roman calendar slid in like a barge on the Mississippi river.  This past year has just been a blur.  I know many of you feel the same it seems as if I could hardly hold on to the Momentum pushing me.  I am here...I used to be there.

Brian (my hubby and highpriest) have experienced such large changes that I am surprised at times to still see him standing next to me smiling, and nodding.  I don't tell too many people this but I really most of the time cannot figure out why that man asked me to marry him in the first place. Goddess knows I tried my best to scared him off, and if I did not buck like I had a burr under my saddle for the first three years my name is not Sonya.  It seemed as if deep inside I really did not think I deserved a life partner, that if someone really saw the pace I ran my life on and dealt with all of my issues he/she would run to the hills screaming.  There had to be a reason why my parents weren't very nice or affectionate to me; and no man had really stuck around that long.  I was blighted, I was cursed, I was really just awful my shadow self said..and I accepted it; because there was nothing solid and hard to tell me any different here in the physical to prove otherwise.  Though it should be stated I had faith and hope I was wrong.

Heavens knows why immediately after we got married we decided to co-found a Wiccan/Pagan church together when we should have been honeymooning it up but Brian and I did just that.  Then, not very long into that venture we got pregnant and brought a new son into our newly found love and life that we were trying to construct.  When I was pregnant he was the perfect husband not just there but always loving me and making me feel super sexy (how he did that I will never know but he managed it).  When I stress over the bills of the Church getting paid, or the next years syllabus, or a ritual, or a member of the church that is having a difficult time...he is there.  He hugs me, and listens and guides me to my higher self.  Pointing out what I do right; never ever whipping me with what I do wrong because he knows that I am the harshest critic of myself..and that my parents did a superb job feeding my inner self with all kinds of criticisms that looped in my head constantly.

He has not circled what I needed to work on one time...NO not once.  Through his tireless quiet demeanor and love and admiration of me I have grown to become a gardener who eliminates those weeds of harshness and criticism of myself.  Once I was able to do that, I was able to be less harsh and critical of others...funny how it works that way huh?

 When people in the community outside were critical and harsh to me because I was a transplanted southerner he just held me closer and walked with me tighter never letting me think about "quitting or giving up" because he believed in me as a person, and in me as a highpriestess and the clergy I could become.  This is why I still look at him in amazement thinking, well damn he really does love me and always will walk by me. 

Brian and I struggled with "pre-conceived" gender roles in parenting, marriage, jobs, and as clergy.  I am more projective and pushy, Brian is really more receptive and nurturing.  I am more of a giver and giving to the point of hurting (sacrifice is part of my makeup) but Brian is more of a receiver thinker when it comes to giving he has taught me to choose more wisely and I have taught him how to give without thinking!  It is not over our partnership, or our marriage but now that we both realize we really are here to stay and have worked through some of the biggest hurdles we think most people get tripped up on; we both feel happier than a cat who ate the canary....and I find it has changed me!  Being Happier makes your jaws sore :))))))))

I posted these pictures today on my blog to remind us that the Goddess many of us worship is DARK and LIGHT.  Right now it seems so popular to say I am a DARK Pagan and not into Wicca that is too "light" for me.  OR I am a being of light I cannot stand "death, dark, and dead things" but we forget that our Goddess holds a sycthe in her hand, and is the face of death and life.  That the moon is DARK and LIGHT that its cycles go toward full and then toward void.  My Goddess is ISIS and yet she is the Wife and Co-ruler with Osiris the God of the Underworld (you think that's dark enough)? If not maybe the God Anubis (the Dark Lord, the Bone father, The Guardian of the Gates of Death, Psychopomp) seems a bit more your speed? I dedicated myself to him last year for a year and a day with my third degrees and he has taught me so much my head has not stopped spinning.

These Gods and my Goddess would not let me fly like a bird until I acknowledged, realized, and purged out of myself the deepest darkest fears and lies I had been telling to myself for years.  They did it by sending me a person (and it should be noted many other friends) to love me.  Until I could accept that FULL love that came to me where I was and elevated me to where I am I could not become better, or happier, or smile in the mirror truly SMILE at myself.

I am not a Practioner of only DARK magic.  I am not a practioner of only WHITE magic.  I worship the Dark and Light, the Sun and the Moon, I dance with life and with death.  I AM BALANCED and when I am not...one of the many Gods and Goddesses I worship will let me know how to fix it and address it; but it will not be Brian he will always look at me with pride in his eyes and a smile on his face. 

 This Blog post is dedicated to the person who has taught me more about life, love, magick, manhood, parenting, marriage, friendship, compassion, laughter, acceptance and the list goes on and on.  He is my Dark Lord and my Sun God; and I am as happy as a person with good sense!


 

That'll do me.......

Nut, the sky mother’s belly was full with creation, but because of Ra’s jealousy and rage he cursed her so that she could not give birth to her creations on “any day of the year” and all the gods knew her pain because they listened to her constant groans and torment as they echoed across the heavens.  But Thoth, being the God of wisdom realized this was not best for the whole…and so he thought long and hard on the matter and transformed himself into a baboon.  

As the playful baboon Thoth went to Khonsu, the God of the moon, and starting to entertain him with jokes and antics like the first court jesters.  As the moon boat dipped in the West Thoth, the baboon gracefully jumped aboard and sailed with Khonsu to the depths of the underworld.  While he rode in the boat with Khonsu he entertained the God with sounds, and pictures and revealed to him the art of writing.  Khonsu was enamored with this skill and told Thoth that he would “give him anything he desired” if he would only share this magic with him.  Thoth, sly and wise, told Khonsu that he only wished to play a game of dice.  Laughing, Khonsu agreed and so Thoth the baboon and Khonsu the moon began to play the game of dice.

At first, Khonsu rolled the best scores and the baboon jumped up and down complimenting the round faced God on his skills, and this pleased Khonsu whose ego was stroked enough that he agreed to the suggestion of wagers to make the game more interesting.  At first only fruits and shells were wagered on the outcome of the dice games; and Khonsu won again and again.  After a while, Thoth suggested the gamble for higher stakes and Khonsu again agreed and this time they played for gold and for silver.  So the game went on, day upon day, month upon month, for almost a full year.  During this time, Nut the sky mother’s shrieks of pain were still heard throughout the universe.

Khonsu continued winning the game gaining more and more treasures so the baboon God Thoth suggested they increase the wager for just a little of the moon’s light.  Khonsu, hesitated a moment, yet he looked at all of his winnings and feeling confident and taking in the flattery of Thoth agreed to the wager.  The game was on….Thoth blew on the dice and said: 

“Bones, Bones, roll as you may. Your numbers choose both night and day.  Where the power of sky and stars hold sway, cause these bones to roll my way, Roll for me this day, Roll for me this day.” (Tamerian spell for gambling)

Luck was with Thoth, the God of Magick, and Khonsu groaned each time Thoth won the roll giving up more and more of his light to the God.  After a while, his face became thinner and thinner but he played on confident that the luck would change in his favor and the days rolled on.  Thoth, rolled and rolled, winning enough light for five extra days and since he was the measurer of time he decided to add these on to the end of the year that RA had created.  Laughing, and whooping Thoth bowed deeply and swiftly took his leave from the God Khonsu and leaped on the Moon boat and transformed himself into the Ibis (his sun form which is that of a bird); and jumped.  He soared higher and higher in his bird-form until he reached NUT. 

 

<Because of this dice game the moon waxes and wanes for Thoth never did give Khonsu back his full moon power. It is also because of this game that Thoth has the power of moon and sun. It is also the reason why there are 365 days in a year!.>

 

Thoth called out for Tauret the hippo Goddess and the dwarf-god Bes to assist him in the labor of Nut and delivery of these God children.  It took five days, exactly as much as Thoth had won for each child to be born and as each child was delivered into the universe, Thoth blessed each and gave them their names so that they would be counted among the company of the Gods.  The first child born on the first day was named Osiris the Good, and the universe cried out and said “the Lord of the whole world”  had just been born.  The second day saw the birth of the heroic Horus, Horus the elder, who was most like his grandfather Ra.  The third day saw the birth of the red-headed Set and in him was chaos and wildness of energies.  On the fourth day the Goddess Isis was born, and on the fifth day Nephthys the dark eyed goddess came forth blessing all the previous children but she lavished her highest praise on her brother Set.  

After all of this was done, the heavens earth and sky were fulfilled and set into their proper places.  All the creatures that lived were following their instilled natures and all the Gods that took care of them had taken their stations. Thus, Ra, being the first and creator of it all became bored and weary of eternity; he looked at the impermanence and the excitement of mortal men and women’s lives and felt envy and longing.

The Gods lived in the palace of Ra removed from man and woman, knowing nothing of suffering or joy immortal, beautiful, and bored.

Lessons from the Hands of Thoth:

* Never judge by appearances!  Thoth while he is the god of wisdom and magick, also realizes a power we humans should be aware of…the power of utilizing aspects of ourselves that we need to when we want to obtain a goal.  The power of tom-foolery and making “a monkey” out of ourselves is a good one.  Maybe from time to time we should take ourselves less seriously; maybe we should be willing to shake a tail feather, and lose from time to time knowing that every thing is not important what is important is the end result.

* Listening to the pain and suffering of those around us is important, but doing something for them to ease their pain and suffering is more important.  Thoth took time to plan and to take action and because of this he was successful!  He was also very patient taking over a whole year to get the results he wanted, but determination and wisdom means that sometimes you do not get immediate results.

* Thoth is a God who is not only wise, but is also a trickster.  You know the trickster God the one that gives you what you want but leads you down a crazy path to get there!  Or shows you how you really don’t want what you think it is you want…oh that is wisdom.  Hmmmm wonder if contemplating your personal ideas of wisdom and a “trickster” might blur the lines between the two?

* How is it that Khonsu lost? He got cocky, he let his ego be fed in a way that made him not take notice that he was being stroked and led in a certain direction.  His ego was WAY too big!  Do not be so foolish as to listen to all those “compliments” and people that are “stroking your ego” be cautious!  Sure you should surround yourself with people that are not unhealthy and mean to you; but you should also surround yourself with people who are honest and tell you the hard truths whether you want to hear them or not.  Khonsu’s ego was huge, and this was his downfall make sure you too are always grounded else your ego will lead to your downfall!

*If you practice this path, then learning the calendar is easier if you remember this story.  Knowing who the Enneads are and the roles of many of your deities becomes common place if you remember who does what.  Tauret looks like a Hippo but she is a Goddess of midwifery!  Bes, is a dwarf but he assisted in the delivery!  If you are pregnant, or assisting in a Wiccaning or friends with a female and you follow this path a gift of Bes or Tauret would be in line would it not?

*Set is not the Devil, he is not “bad”.  In our modern 21^st century culture we have been programmed to see things as extremes: white or black, good or bad, rich or poor, etc.  But Set is described as Chaos and primordial energy not tamed or focused…sounds a lot like our lives and us as practioner’s of magick that are trying to constantly learn does it not?  Why not study Set, get to know him and realize there are other aspects and characteristics of him that might interest you.  Did you know he was considered the God of trading, God of the Desserts, also the God of foreign languages?  Egyptian Gods have lived so long their characteristics and complexities defy human understanding at times; yet help us flesh them out to be more than “stereotypes” but “archetypes” and isn’t that what a spiritual path is all about?

* Know your creation story. Use it as a tool to teach you, to instruct you, to make you smile, laugh, take delight in it!  It is a story after all, and it is customized by the Gods for you…your mind and spirit will gain things from it that no other person on earth will ever grasp!  You are a wonderful unique vessel…and the Gods envy you at times.

If you want to learn about the Egyptian Calendar and the creation story then try these:Egyptian Mystics: Seekers of the Way by Moustafa Gadalla, Egyptian Cosmology the Animated Universe by Moustafa Gadalla, and Egyptian Rhythmn: The Heavenly Melodies by Moustafa Gadalla

Lastly, not least imporantly...THANK YOU for reading, and freely giving me the gift of your time!