Are you sure it isn't the Cherry on top?

I just got back from New Orleans, Louisiana.  My husband Brian and I went there to get some “couple time”.  It is a funny thing that happens when you start running any kind of business or organization when you get married you get to running around so much you forget what got you propelled to where you are in the first place.  I have not forgotten.  Before I met Brian I was pretty cool.  After I met Brian everything fell together for me, and I relaxed into life. 

We fell in love.  I think we knew the minute we met each other that nothing from that moment would be the same.  We are still in love.  People forget this at times since we are just a 40-something couple and a High priest and Highpriestess of a Wiccan Temple.  No, we don’t bandy about naked underneath the full moon.  No, we are not swingers or in a cool “open” or polyamorous relationship we are just two people; who met and fell in love. In short very unusually boring for a Pagan anything especially in the year 2013.

We open and close the Temple of the Sacred Gift four (at least) out of seven days a week with a few other couples in the church.  It is hard to maintain a good relationship with your significant other when you both work all day, and then come home to grab food and run up to teach a class, shake hands with strangers, sell wares, run circles, bless homes, and banish spirits. Usually one of us has to stay home with our Pagan Toddler so the other can serve the community and maintain the ministry; but, somehow or another we have maintained it. 

How?  By feeding and filling our well.  Normal people, call it “hard work”  I will call it taking trips to New Orleans, trips to Nashville, trips to Gatlinburg, renting a Hotel room, going out to dinner, and buying each other things to express our love for one another.  When we chose together the Temple logo we placed in the middle the cup and athame; a symbol for the merging and interconnectedness of the God and the Goddess themselves.  Many look at this symbol for the “Great Rite” and laugh and say it is all about the sex.  Hey, I will not lie sex is a physical way of expressing the “Great Rite” in fact it is probablly the cherry on top of all of life.  However, after being married in more than one way to a person I will tell you it is more about the collaborations that occur between the female and male within each of us and being comfortable enough to share that with each other than great bedroom shenanigans that truly is the GREAT RITE.

We have collaborated on raising four children together Brian and I.  We have collaborated on paying bills together, on retiring together, on taking care of each other when we are sick.  We have collaborated on building a physical worship space together and a spiritual one not only for people that come and ask for guidance; but for each other.  He has his path, which is Eclectic and I have mine which is very much Egyptian Heka.  We collaborate on work schedules, and doctors’ appointments, and on insurances, and on who is going to mow the lawn and who will fold and put up the laundry.  In fact, there is not one area of our life that is not collaboration, and I feel that this is truly what the” Great Rite” is all about.  It is not about two people becoming one in a hot sweaty embrace it is about two people whose lives intersect and respect, love and admire one another in and outside of the sexual act.

 

 

Today, I read a prayer aloud to the Goddess Opis and re-minded myself who she was and what Opulence truly is.  It seems many people can define Opulence as being diamonds, pearls, fancy cars, chandeliers, and over the top “lifestyles of the rich and famous”.  Yet, it seems to me since very few of us will ever experience that kind of opulence that maybe what it really is about is figuring out what your Opulence is.  To me, Opulence is being married to and being the Highpriestess of Brian Miller.  To me, building a life with this person, sharing a world with him, living in a home with him, and co-creating a Temple and community with him is Opulence.  BTW so is the Great Rite with him…J 

 

Thank you for letting me share what I feel is the "cherry on top" of life!

Why is it so hard to start a coven? OR is it really that hard to start one?

" Xwitch made a suggestion that it hard to get into a coven. I think this would be somewhat true and depends on where you live. e.g., I would love to be able to organise a study group/coven in my local area, I thought about doing flyers or a mail box drop advertising as such but then I feel that I would get phone calls or emails from negative people and/or a mole might get in, kinda like what we get in this group, and a heap of other factors that have turned me off it completely. Mind you though I have gotten a flyer in my mail box about a local churches bible study group so I see it as a huge unfairness on us as Wiccans that we still have to hide away even with all the laws protecting us."

I have decided to address one of these today on a public forum because I want there to be MORE Pagan/Wiccan/Witch groups not less. But for that to happen, I need to share in a bigger way how to start your own coven.  FIRST, let me state there are not "all of these laws out there" protecting you as a Wiccan unless you decided to get organized and get a Legal 501c3 Religious organization license.  For you to think that your coven will be protected is naive, study the law and all of the cases and you will see time and time again the odds are stacked against you.  You live in a world where people understand Church, Temple, Worship center but they do not understand "coven/circle/grove/backyard".  So if you think that forming a coven will protect you and your buddies from "discrimination" and that you can do anything you want and sue then think again...that is not the way the law or the world works.  This is why after years of leading covens my husband and I banded together and organized and formed a legal 501c3 Wiccan Church  with a whole bunch of other fabulous folks (Wicca is protected Pagan and Witch are not).

IF however, you want to form a coven with people because you have a sincere desire to learn, to grow, and to practice magick with people you enjoy then you have the RIGHT reason to form a coven.  So first I would advise you to sit still and figure out WHY you want to form a coven.  If it is for POWER POWER POWER or because you are Lonely then DO not form a coven those are not good reasons.  NEXT, what kind of coven do you want it to be?  Do you want it to be a women's only group?  Do you want it to study the Celtic path?  Is it eclectic?  Hellenistic? etc.  Do you know anything about these areas?  IF not, then be honest and say I want this to be a coven for people that are new to the path and want to learn together. DO NOT( and I repeat this do not) call yourself a Highpriestess if you have no experience on the path; give it time you will grow into that role the Goddess truly initiates her own and you will know when that "title" is right for you. Priest and Priestess we all are, but Highpriestess or Highpriest is earned.

This is the tricky part...are you starting the coven alone?  If you are then you have to decide are you going to be the leader?  Would you rather it be a leaderless group? If there is a leader will it be just you or are you going to share that responsibility oh and HOW WELL do you know them?  Where are you going to worship, a park or your back yard?  Do you want to have a bunch of people worshiping in your home but you have no control over what happens?  If not, then you do not want a leaderless group worshiping in your back yard.  (BTW I love how people say this alot because I do not believe in leaderless groups, whomever founded it and whomever home it is at is the leader and if who founded it and the house used to do it are owned and run by two different people there usually are issues that arise I am sharing this from alot of experience. Because truthfully we humans like boundaries, rules, leaders, and struggle with control all of us do.)  

What kind of rules do you want to have?  Yes, Covens have rules, like you have to study with us for three months before we decided whether we want to take you on or not.  OR you are only a first degree after a year and a day and we initiate you.  Oh yes, what kind of initiation will you have? What kind of mission will your coven have?  Or you all going to do things to help each other, help the library, what about the food bank, etc?  How will you dress?  Will you wear robes, wear street clothes, etc?

HOW many people do you want in your group?  Remember the more people it seems the merrier but if this is your first time the more people who share energy the more you have to get them to mesh, get along, and be in sync and this is so much harder than it looks on the surface.  WHO or HOW are you going to pay for all the rituals?  Cakes and ale, herbs, resins, stones, incense,  altars, altar cloths, God and Goddess statues, cauldrons, sage sticks, all of these things cost money...so how are you all going to pay for this?  When I first started we all rotated this together one week I provided candles the next the sage and incense, etc.  HOW often are you going to meet?  Every week thus every moon cycle, every new moon, every full moon, only dark moons, etc...THIS is important for if you do not meet enough the bonds are not there and the group falls apart.  IF you meet to soon you burn out and then the group also falls apart.

HOW long do you want the coven to work?  Would you like to re-address it every year?  Every three years?  How will you know when it is done...I am not saying you will have the answer to all of these going in, but if you think about all of this BEFORE you try to form a coven then you have a leg up and might be able to make it work.  Because, let it be stated here that leading, organizing, and running anything is hard work so if you work 40 plus hours and have many other obligations (like many children and a high maintenance marriage or full time college) starting and running a coven is NOT for you!  Being in one, now that might be more your speed and for Goddess sake if you cannot run one and know it please be nice to the person that is sacrificing their time, home, and energy it is a HARD job; respect them!

NOW after you have done all of these things, and have decided you have the time and energy and money to do this thing and know where you are going to meet then what?  Advertise.  Yep, you heard me, advertise.  Do it on Facebook say I am forming a group, and send me an email if interested.  PUT up flyers in the coffee shop, or occult store, or at the New age place, or at your local Wiccan church. Twitter it if you want! Once again have them email you if interested not call you. DO NOT advertise your phone number that is a mistake!

WHEN they email you send them back a list of questions that answers for you why they are interested, what their experience is, and if they have psychological issues, or drug and alcohol addictions (yes, please ask this sure they can lie but you will be surprised how many will be honest and you don't want to start off with people that might not benefit from this spiritual path due to psychological issues or addiction issues).  Read the emails, screen them, pick your favorite then call these people back and set up an appointment to meet them face to face!  Make sure it is in a open area like a coffee shop and go meet them and talk and see how you feel about them.  IF you like them set up a date for a future time and get together again, do this until you feel comfortable and add people as you go...and then VOILA!  You have the startings of a coven anything more than three is just that...!

NOW see it really is not as hard as you thought?  It really is more common sense than you realized?  Of course it is.  IF you feel a need or a calling to start a group, then please do so...if it does not work out then so what you tried.  If it does work then WOO HOO you are on your way to growing together!

GOOD LUCK, and GODDESS BLESS.  My email is revsonyamiller@gmail.com if you need any further advice or help in this area for that is what I am here for.  

 

They are as happy as if they had good sense.

Yule passed.  The log was burned, gifts were exchanged and the new year of the Roman calendar slid in like a barge on the Mississippi river.  This past year has just been a blur.  I know many of you feel the same it seems as if I could hardly hold on to the Momentum pushing me.  I am here...I used to be there.

Brian (my hubby and highpriest) have experienced such large changes that I am surprised at times to still see him standing next to me smiling, and nodding.  I don't tell too many people this but I really most of the time cannot figure out why that man asked me to marry him in the first place. Goddess knows I tried my best to scared him off, and if I did not buck like I had a burr under my saddle for the first three years my name is not Sonya.  It seemed as if deep inside I really did not think I deserved a life partner, that if someone really saw the pace I ran my life on and dealt with all of my issues he/she would run to the hills screaming.  There had to be a reason why my parents weren't very nice or affectionate to me; and no man had really stuck around that long.  I was blighted, I was cursed, I was really just awful my shadow self said..and I accepted it; because there was nothing solid and hard to tell me any different here in the physical to prove otherwise.  Though it should be stated I had faith and hope I was wrong.

Heavens knows why immediately after we got married we decided to co-found a Wiccan/Pagan church together when we should have been honeymooning it up but Brian and I did just that.  Then, not very long into that venture we got pregnant and brought a new son into our newly found love and life that we were trying to construct.  When I was pregnant he was the perfect husband not just there but always loving me and making me feel super sexy (how he did that I will never know but he managed it).  When I stress over the bills of the Church getting paid, or the next years syllabus, or a ritual, or a member of the church that is having a difficult time...he is there.  He hugs me, and listens and guides me to my higher self.  Pointing out what I do right; never ever whipping me with what I do wrong because he knows that I am the harshest critic of myself..and that my parents did a superb job feeding my inner self with all kinds of criticisms that looped in my head constantly.

He has not circled what I needed to work on one time...NO not once.  Through his tireless quiet demeanor and love and admiration of me I have grown to become a gardener who eliminates those weeds of harshness and criticism of myself.  Once I was able to do that, I was able to be less harsh and critical of others...funny how it works that way huh?

 When people in the community outside were critical and harsh to me because I was a transplanted southerner he just held me closer and walked with me tighter never letting me think about "quitting or giving up" because he believed in me as a person, and in me as a highpriestess and the clergy I could become.  This is why I still look at him in amazement thinking, well damn he really does love me and always will walk by me. 

Brian and I struggled with "pre-conceived" gender roles in parenting, marriage, jobs, and as clergy.  I am more projective and pushy, Brian is really more receptive and nurturing.  I am more of a giver and giving to the point of hurting (sacrifice is part of my makeup) but Brian is more of a receiver thinker when it comes to giving he has taught me to choose more wisely and I have taught him how to give without thinking!  It is not over our partnership, or our marriage but now that we both realize we really are here to stay and have worked through some of the biggest hurdles we think most people get tripped up on; we both feel happier than a cat who ate the canary....and I find it has changed me!  Being Happier makes your jaws sore :))))))))

I posted these pictures today on my blog to remind us that the Goddess many of us worship is DARK and LIGHT.  Right now it seems so popular to say I am a DARK Pagan and not into Wicca that is too "light" for me.  OR I am a being of light I cannot stand "death, dark, and dead things" but we forget that our Goddess holds a sycthe in her hand, and is the face of death and life.  That the moon is DARK and LIGHT that its cycles go toward full and then toward void.  My Goddess is ISIS and yet she is the Wife and Co-ruler with Osiris the God of the Underworld (you think that's dark enough)? If not maybe the God Anubis (the Dark Lord, the Bone father, The Guardian of the Gates of Death, Psychopomp) seems a bit more your speed? I dedicated myself to him last year for a year and a day with my third degrees and he has taught me so much my head has not stopped spinning.

These Gods and my Goddess would not let me fly like a bird until I acknowledged, realized, and purged out of myself the deepest darkest fears and lies I had been telling to myself for years.  They did it by sending me a person (and it should be noted many other friends) to love me.  Until I could accept that FULL love that came to me where I was and elevated me to where I am I could not become better, or happier, or smile in the mirror truly SMILE at myself.

I am not a Practioner of only DARK magic.  I am not a practioner of only WHITE magic.  I worship the Dark and Light, the Sun and the Moon, I dance with life and with death.  I AM BALANCED and when I am not...one of the many Gods and Goddesses I worship will let me know how to fix it and address it; but it will not be Brian he will always look at me with pride in his eyes and a smile on his face. 

 This Blog post is dedicated to the person who has taught me more about life, love, magick, manhood, parenting, marriage, friendship, compassion, laughter, acceptance and the list goes on and on.  He is my Dark Lord and my Sun God; and I am as happy as a person with good sense!


 

"And the future is so bright I gotta wear SHADES..."

So the past two weeks have been a whirlwind.  Yes, Air has been present in my life….”"Who can tell the mind of the Wind? Who can catch it and hold in their hand? Who can tell where the Wind has been blowing? And who among the wise can foretell where it will go?"

As an Egyptian priestess and Air Sun sign I revel in Air its speed and invisibility it delights me filling me with spirit; but now that I have returned to my “real world” and “real time”.  I can look back, and see how important grounding is also.  The ATC (Aquarian Tabernacle Church) Arch priestess Belladonna and her Highpriest Dusty came into our stomping grounds and shared two festivals with me and our communities.  I had the fortunate experience of having them dwell in my home for a few days; teaching me, laughing with me, and loving me.  The time went fast, but the moments are imprinted indelibly on my life.

First we went to the Southern Delta Church of Wicca-ATC May Day festival.  It’s theme was “Getting Back to our Roots” and the week was full of communities getting to know each other better, re-establishing connections, sharing our dreams, learning and laughing from one another, loving each others children’s, playing games, utilizing warrior energy, and listening to Rev. Terry Riley and Rev. Amanda Riley as they reminded us how far we had come and where our community had come from.  It was warm, it was happy, it was home…how nice to be grounded and rooted in such rich red clay soil.  Apple Oaks, Southern Delta Wicca, White Oak Raven, Temple of the Sacred Gift, Temple of the Stone (all ATC) and Summerland Grove and Temple of the Ancient Ones were all present, and working together peacefully and lovingly for the community.  Today we have this many churches, and organized Pagan communities just five years ago we had two.

What happened to make all this growth?  Why so many organizations in such a short amount of time?  Well in this area we have grown that much!  As more and more people declare their spiritual paths pagan the need has arisen for us to offer them services, counseling, rites of passages, workshops, and celebrations that correspond with our Spiritual traditions.  Traditions have been handed down, the younger generation grew up, and so it is the wheel turns and those who taught us have either crossed over or asked us to step up and so we have.  The future does not look dismal here in the Bible Belt for us Pagans it looks bright as the sun, especially after the Temple of the Sacred Gift-ATC opened its new Temple building (that is not in a home anymore) to the public!

Next, we went on to the Pagan Unity Festival, which is put together every year by Tish Owen a well known local pagan/witch/healer/psychic/published author.  The guest speakers were five star caliber:  Belladonna Leveau, Christopher Penzack, Oberon Zell, Dorothy Morrison, Raven Grimassi, and more more more!  The workshops were stellar on everything from Tarot spreads, numerology, how to make oils, candles, ritual workshops, drum workshops.  The music was out the roof with the Tuatha de Danna and Wendy Rule!  Handfastings were numerous, with Tish Owens in her NO spare time still overseeing and conducting them, the vendors top notch, and the spirit was one where all had gathered together for community and there were NO strangers amongst us…for we have come full circle and realize we are really really not alone in these parts!

I am not a camper, I prefer hotels and linen sheets to bunks and dirty floors but all of this was tossed aside to dance, and sing, and be part of rituals, do magick, learn from masters, listen to great songs, and just become part of something so much bigger than just me…SPIRIT.

If you have ever wanted to go to a Pagan festival and never gone…you should.  If you have ever gone and did not like it…maybe you should try again.  The future of our Path is growing so fast, and broad, and strong!  Catch the Air!  Let the Fire warm you!  Drink in that Water!  Feel the Earth beneath your feet!  Join with kindred spirits and shed “you” and become a “we” just for a weekend.  It is nice to remember ever now and again that there is a tapestry being woven and you are a thread in that beautiful creation.

If I met you this weekend thank you for the gift of your time!  If I did not meet you these past two weeks then I hope I met you soon!  Special thanks to Southern Delta Wicca and Tish Owens and BOTH festival staffs for pulling together and off a most fabulous Festival occasion that I will never forget!  VERY very Very Special Thankyous go to my fellow pathwalkers Bella and Dusty and Wiccan Seminary.edu! My cup runneth over…please receive a sip!

Where there's smoke there's fire...

"Where there's smoke" is the beginning of the saying "Where there's smoke, there's fire," meaning that if there is telltale evidence of some event, the event is probably occurring. ---Wikipedia

Let us be honest, the above is not always the case.  In fact, if you have ever played the gossip game with friends you laughed uproarisly to hear that "doris had an abortion after getting rid of her lice" when it started out as "Doris is looking gorgeous today, I wonder what they put in her rice?".  See they sound similar...but the meaning is really not the same.

Most Highpriestesses will never be as famous as the women whose pictures I will post in this blog (this is Selena Fox btw); in fact their pictures may never come up in Google Images or Photobucket when a search is performed but this does not make their calling in life any less relevant.  I am not sure what it would :"Feel like" to be so famous that you could not walk anywhere without people noticing you but as Clergy of a church I got a little taste of what it is like living in a goldfish bowl.

What is a Highpriestess?  Well, in many religions men head everything but in the Pagan/Wiccan/Witch religion if there is a group formed a Highpriestess is usually the one behind it and cheering it on.  She in turn, usually picks a Highpriest to work with her to serve as the consort (or perform the role of the God) the role of Highpriestess is so important that in the Tarot deck there is a Highpriestess card...but if you notice; no Highpriest.

Highpriestesses come in all shapes and sizes, and it is usually assumed they have trained for three to five years with a Highpriestess, elder, Highpriest, or group to share their traditions with others.  Of course, this is not always the case.  I have known some fabulous Highpriestesses who had no teachers, just literally had a gift for it and made it up as they went along and the Gods blessed them just the same sending them hundreds and hundreds of students.  Those were back in the days where there were not so many teachers, or Highpriestesses and it was not "cool" to call yourself one or "run an occult store".

Highpriestesses get a bad rap alot.  People seem to see them as "controlling, lazy, bossy, and obnoxious" or at least this is what you hear people say that refuse to join any type of group format when it comes to Wicca/Paganism/or being a Witch.  Yet, they do not seem to notice, they are disciplined, very protective of their tribe, teachers who share what they have learned and know for hundreds of people, constantly working even into their sixties and seventies to give birth to person after person who are really "excited" about "discovering" a new path; this does not count how many living rooms or basements or kitchens or bathrooms they have devoted to "pagans" and money they have invested into their Gods.  I mean where would we be as a religion without Priestesses?  It is almost like saying where would we be without the Goddess?

Priestesses can be intimidating, and intense, but they also can be (and most I know are) very loving, motherly, nurturing, concerned, constantly aware, open to new ideas, and an example of what an independent thinker and human being are.  Now, like you all I had in my mind when I became a HPS (this was me thinking of me growing up as a witch) what I would look like, and how I would act, not how I would boss, finally be in charge, and not take crap from anyone.  Unfortunately it seems I get to"eat more crow" and "take more crap" being a HPS than I ever did as just a cute little witchling...but then I also get more credit and praise than I probably should at times also..since I DO HAVE some fabulous luck and wonderful students.

It washes out, and NO I did not grow up to look like the Highpriestess Tarot Card all regal, still, quite, and patient.  I was still the small, wiry, animated, bright haired crazy child only older...and that apparently is why the Gods have a fabulous sense of humor! My teacher was quite, patient, matronly, and felt like a Goosedown pillow.  My Mamaw was small wiry, a fireball, had crazy hair, intense eyes...and wait...I look alot like her!

So, for all you HPS out there...hang in there; you are doing good!  It does not matter if you win a popularity contest; what matters is that you love your Gods and that you listen, and you try your best.  Don't be too hard on yourselves!  For you of you that are NOT Highpriestesses please be nice; try to remember these are humans serving humans and their Gods and trying to do the best they can...and never for monetary gain.  If you have a problem with authority; that's fine but don't join a coven and cause strife.  You know you do not like groups or leadership this does not make you "bad" it makes you know yourself.  However, if you could lay your personal fears aside and try to learn for a little while...that might not be "bad" either...just saying :)

Now this-----------------------------------------> is my favorite Highpriestess picture it is Yoko Ono wrapped in toilet paper at an Art Exhibit and I swear she calls herself a "Highpriestess" and I think that is sort of cool.  Something to relate to, be proud of, and make me laugh...but then I have a weird sense of humor.

What is your impression of Highpriestesses?  Where did you get it from?  How did you if you are one, like the role?

Thanks for reading!  Thanks for sharing!  Thanks for being such a delight!

Bide the Wiccan Rede you must, In perfect love and perfect trust...

 The Temple of the Sacred Gift-ATC tonight is having a ritual led by our Second degree students.  They have taken vows to a singular goddess of their choice for a year and a day, and faithfully for one year have gone to lessons and sessions and done homework for one year every other week to learn about Wicca and Paganism.  They will present a workshop before the ritual and teach the Temple something they feel is important that they have learned and we will literally learn from the students; they will become the teachers.

After all their dedication and commitment they truly deserve to teach...they made it! The class was large, half of those people made it to the finish line (this is usually the way it is). No matter what happened, they went to rituals every new and full moon and classes in between constantly journaling doing homework, and sticking to one deity while working jobs, and having healthy relationships!  Now that is a balancing act!  That does not count that they were involved in the Temple, they became active in their community and they learned or found themselves walking their talk!

They will call us all into circle singing our blending energies/come to ritual song:
"You approach the sacred grove, 
with heart and mind and flesh and bone,
Join us now in ways of old...
You have come home!"
 The circle will have been smudged and cleansed, all of us will be challenged, we will be purified, the circle will be cast by them, the elementals called in by them, the God and Goddess called in for us by them, and then they will dispense the message of their Gods to us, and share the sacraments with us.

A couple of nights ago they all came over to the Temple and "practiced their ritual" in the circle. Constantly questioning.."were they doing it right?", going over what they were going to say, and do...when you lit the candles, rung the bell, sang a song, how to draw down a circle properly, etc.  Finally, Rev. Allison and I explained that when it happened it would be different.  She and I know that "circle time" where you are between the worlds and beyond the boundaries of time, and in the real plane are completely different.  She and I realize that when you truly lend yourself to a deity for them to speak to the people things come out of your mouth not planned; and you sing songs and do things you have no idea where they came from...but they are what the community gathered needed to hear and needed to see.  We were proud of them, for they are a new generation of pagans that will leave their mark, and we had a "little bit" to do with that.  After we encouraged, reassured, and bouyed their spirits...they left.  Tonight, I get to experience it all, playing the drum as they raise that cone of power.  Just think most of them had no idea what a cone of power was a year or two ago!

My husband after they left, pointed out that back when we were trained the only way we learned (since there were not many pagan books back then are if there were we could not get ahold of them here in the south)  we had to listen to our priest or priestess and then just practice...over and over again.  I remember drawing circles over and over until I got it right . I remember invoking and evoking deities, and working with elementals until I got comfortable...no one was there to guide me; only a person to check up on me when I was done for back to circle I would go only to show what I had "learned on my own" after the ritual with the Priestess.  This was a good way to learn, for there is much to be said for hands on learning.  In fact, I feel that having a teacher, curriculum, hands on learning, and a team full of people mentoring you (not just one that might be hours away) is the best way I can think of to learn.  I pray this class looks back on this system lovingly and think the same...and if not that they improve on this method.  Hopefully, we get better as a community of Pagans as time passes there are more books, more of us, and more possibilities of training.

I bring the hands on training up, because while I realize many cannot find teachers other than on the internet or in books written by a highpriestess/highpriest or advanced witch...that there is ALOT to be said for hands on learning, and having a circle to practice and worship with every other week, and having a team full of mentors to constantly encourage you and listen to you!  I understand not everyone has that, but I do want those of you out there that do not have that opportunity to realize that if you have a chance to go to a coven or any kind of community event that this is an opportunity for learning! If it feels uncomfortable (and not the kind of uncomfortable because you are being asked to do something against your personal ethics) then remind yourself that when you are asked to leave your comfort zone it is scary!  But you cannot learn, if you do not leave your comfort zone.  DO IT AFRAID!  Seek out others of your path, even if it is someone you just met in a bookstore ( I have made lifelong witchy friends that way). 

When you witness another persons circle, you are truthfully witnessing their tradition.  They were taught by someone (usually not themselves) to do things a certain way and they adjusted that into a way that worked for them.  It is so fascinating to get all the different groups up here together and see what we all have in common and what we all do differently even though some of us are only a few hours apart!  Some of the circles have the same deities, or pantheons and then you have weird mixes like our Temple where they are really eclectic (Celtic Hps, Hindu HP an HPS, Eclectic HP and Egyptian Kemetic HPS).  How fun to learn about others "ways of doing things"!  How fun to learn new ways to call in elementals, draw circles, or songs that the other regions sing every ritual...how wonderful to realize you like your way and prefer it to the others!

Tonight, the second group of Temple students will finish their final exam and I will cry I am sure, and I know I will be prouder than a pig in mud.  On Imbolc they will receive their degrees and jump the fire of IMBOLC and I will really choke up...but what gives me hope in this world is seeing others love and do what I love to do.  What makes me keep on going no matter what is being able to share with others what I have been taught by others "much smarter and much more witchy" than I (PS I Still have elders and others sharing lessons with me though I am not formally training now).  What will make my year, will be handing those students whom I love as family and realizing that many of them will now be entering my third degree class and I will get the chance to walk with each one of them as they continue their personal spiritual paths and let me coach them, and choose me as a mentor!

If you know some things please share and teach!  Realizing there can be no greater gift than to Teach our traditions, Share our Spirituality, and take part in the Legacy that we will inevitable leave behind!  If you want to learn, well do so..but keep in mind that no matter what you read, no matter what online course you take until you get out there in the cold, and rain, and heat and Practice; you know nothing more than facts.  Magick is experienced, and I will swear it is better than sex! To those of you learning, and dedicating yourself constantly doubting yourself...DO not Doubt!  You are going to get there, and we are all so very very proud of you for taking time out of your busy life and dedicating big portions of it to our Gods and Goddesses and our communities! 


As always...Thank you for reading, and thank you for the gift of your time! 

I would rather run with the turkeys than fry with the chickens!

Hey ya’ll!  Do you remember when you were a little one and told your parents “I cannot wait until I grow up then I will never ever have people tell me what to do!” ?  I do.  I also remember my mom laughing at my naivety and saying…”Baby, no matter how old you get you always have to answer to someone.  There are always rules to follow.  There is always a pecking order.”  I was absolutely positive she was wrong.  I just knew it.  But here I am, fastly approaching another year realizing…she was right.

When you run a coven, or Wiccan church usually there is some sort of teaching program in place.  When you are first starting out you think…”Finally, now things can be done my way!” but even this is the folly of youth.  First, if you are a Highpriestess usually you are teaching a tradition or sharing what you have learned.  This is why you are the Highpriestess you have training, you know a thing or two and thus when it gets down to making a structure for your coven or group you are going to teach “what you know”.  What you know is limited by “what you learned” and thus, whether you like it or not rules fall into place and “certain ways of doing things”.  Structures start descending like gossamer cloths from the heaven and drape upon the “abstract concepts you are sharing with others" .   Alot of times you very quickly begin to discover that what worked in a "women's only circle" or in the mid-west or somewhere else does NOT work where you are. Then you go back to the drawing board....only to admit "things cannot be done your way, they have to be done for the group dynamic."

Next, you find even if you are claiming “there are no leaders we rotate” well those are the leaders.  The person who started the “group” is the leader.  The person who writes the ritual is “the leader” and so to some extent no matter how “punk rock” you are like me you find that your anarchist heart has to resign to the order of the universe.  Everyone has a “way” of setting up their altars; what tools they use and what incense is used for what spell.  Even if you use books all the time, because you are a newbie and had no teacher to tell you the herbs or the proper color usage you are “following someone’s rules and ways of doing things”. I am sure Scott Cunningham was the teacher of half the witches of the eighties and a lot in the nineties.  So if you only have book learning…it’s okay but you have to admit you learned a structure. 

Outside of that, if you mix in the bigger Pagan community you find there are Elders and leaders of other organizations that do things differently than you do.  In the case of Elders they have been there for quite some time, and if you ask “respectfully and with an open ear and mind” you might just learn "their way".  Elders and other Highpriests and Highpriestesses are also another “structure or group” you find yourself mingling with if you stroll very long in the community.  Sometimes, you find that you might “tangle” or get “rattled” by some beliefs or practices of another group.  You might not choose to personally endorse or follow their beliefs but that is okay.  That is why you have a group to begin with, to worship with those who you do agree with and who you can get along with.  BUT what is not okay, is to “be mean” or “harass” the other group.  Because, we all share the same well and we all drink from that well that the Goddess freely gives us we are all united under the belief system of Paganism.  Thus, once again we have a structure within a structure.

To make this one step more complicated, if you are sponsored entity like my Temple you probably have several boards above and below you that you have to also listen to and get along with.  I know we have a members council so that all people have a voice and can suggest and help the Temple move in the direction they feel is important.  We also have a Clergy board, and with five clergy you find that in reality you are either rotating for everyone to get their way from time to time or compromising because everyone has a great idea and we want to merge those ideas for the best of the whole.  Above me, I have the ATC Highpriestess to answer to and an Arch priest.  Now, do not get me wrong they do not give orders and me have to run like a chicken with my head cut off.  BUT, they do have to be informed about everything and guess what?  They give great advice!  They know a lot of things I cannot possibly even think off! Thus I learn "their structured" ways of doing things...and another layer of meringue is piled upon the pie.

If you throw all those ingredients together, not even including that more than half of my day goes to building and sorting and posting about church stuff, rituals, workshops, and activities.  One day you wake up and realize your life is both really full and structured or really chaotic and almost toppling over and I like the former not the latter!  So here I stand with tattoos still, various piercings sealed shut but still scarring, with my “Death Cab for Cutie” tee shirt and my still wild hair to only smile.  Contrary to my little maiden ideas “answering to someone” is okay.  Contrary to my wild teenage rebellious “don’t tell me what to do!”  I find myself asking “what should I do?” and "what is best for the whole"?  In spite of my Twenty year old phrase of “stop talking down to me!” , I realize no one ever was talking down to me…they were guiding me, mentoring me, parenting me just like the God and Goddess does. I have to remind myself from time to time with the younger ones...I was there once, I do remember that perspective and they are not wrong...just not seeing another aspect of the diamond.

I have saved the most important for last the BIG bosses.  Your personal God and Goddess and your guides are always advising you, constantly rooting for you.  If they say…hey take another road not that one and you find you avoid a huge wreck or maybe just a  traffic jam are you really going to ignore them the next time they give you advice?  I hope you are smarter than that!  Did you know that if you are lucky enough to be “chosen and called” by a deity to run a group of any type first and foremost you have to answer to them, listen to them, do as they ask. (yep, you have another boss)  A Clergy, Highpriest, Highpriestess, or leader of any ritual knows that a wonderful ritual is one where their body houses the God or Goddess they invoke and that they are merely a vessel.  They also realize, that the rituals they feel compelled to do are never really for themselves but for the other people in the group for their job is to “dispense the sacraments of the Gods to the their people” (and many times they never have a clue who that ritual was really for but the Gods do).  Service is an honor, not a duty.  Service is a wonderful thing to behold that gives you more than you could ever get being selfish and demanding.  Service can “burn you out” but it can also “wrap you in more love than you can fathom”.

 The next time you go to a festival or event and you see a bunch of Highpriest’s, Highpriestesses and Elders sitting around smoking and drinking coffee or just laughing and talking realize this.  Their life is not as carefree as you thought; they are discussing to each other their issues or concerns; in some cases they are answering to each other for actions that occurred in their shared community and this is difficult and humbling.  Yes, they too have someone to answer too “leadership” is not all about the costumes and the great pagan jewelry it is about: planning, hard work, serving, listening, cooperation, compromise, being a janitor, maid, cook, coordinator, secretary, accountant, mother, bad cop, good cop, and everything in between. I bet you would not believe it, but even as a HPS you have to deal with people from out of town or people that do not even knowing you telling you how you should do this or that all the time...and sometimes you can stand up to them; but sometimes it is just better to shut your mouth, paste on a smile, and say "Thank you" (though you are thinking wth?) and assume they want what is best for you like your Momma does.

Last night, I went out to dinner with my parents.  They have grown shorter with age, and of course they are more wrinkled.  We ate fried southern style catfish and hush puppies, drank pungent sweet tea with lemons, finished it off with homemade coconut cream pie and chocolate meringue pie and we laughed.  I looked at my parents, and I realized that they were not as “foolish” as I once thought them to be.  Of course, everything they told me did not work for me but you know there sure was a lot of good ole’ practical common sense there flowing out of their mouths; mom was right, I bet if I asked her right then who she had to answer too she would have a list of people and start ticking it off.  I decided not to ask her, but hug her instead and she decided NOT to comment on my bright pink hair with feathers flying all about in it because she realizes I have enough on my plate…and after all I am an adult and I have my own list of people to answer too.

What structures or traditions do you follow?  Do you mind the concept of service?