May the Circle be unbroken.....

“Ancestors, those of blood and not of our blood.  Those of our Bone, and not of our Bone we call you forth tonight and ask that you join us in our Temple….”

Samhain, the time when the Crone Goddess aspect comes into power, and the time when the God dies; the time when we all dress up our “witchiest” and gather and do what? We gather together here in Memphis to honor our Ancestors.  The above phrase is always used every circle; but at Samhain it becomes more real.  Many of us have lost loved ones while the wheel of the year has turned:  children, siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, pets.

We all come together and bring a candle to represent our Ancestor (usually we paste a picture of them on the candle) and the circle is cast widdershins (counter-clockwise) because things are about to change.  From that point forward until IMBOLC all circles will be cast in that direction for the time of the Crone has come into play.  Some midsouth circles will bring in the “Bone mother” as they call her (Cailleach, Nephthys, Hekate)  some of us will just call in the Hag.  Many of us will send the God to the underworld with gifts and offerings (this is my Egyptian practice), some will not mention his “absence” at all.

Stones will be piled high on the altar to make a monument that will honor our ancestors, and we will all walk a spiral to the center to call, and get an answer from them regarding something we want to communicate with them about.  For many this is just an apology, for some of us it is just to “reconnect” and say hi; most will ask for advice since it seems Ancestors crossed over are released from mundane worries and responsibilities and give us better advice than what we would choose for ourselves from time to time.

 

A dumb supper will be laid out, the table all black and mourningful, many of us will wear veils, the candelabras will be burning, the tissues aplenty…and we will eat in silence with our dearly departed as they speak, touch, and communicate with us in waves of spirit-filled emotions during that dinner. 

Every Ancestor ritual we do at Samhain I leave out offerings for my Grandparents and friends…but I communicate especially with my Mamaw and Papaw who I held so near and dear to my heart (and still do).  It is good to take the time to pause, and reflect and to acknowledge in a healthy way our loss.  It is a catharsis of the spirit that I look forward to every year; and never grow tired of this release. I realize of course, I can speak to my Mamaw or dearly departed Elders every day of the week…and I do many times.  However, taking the time to set aside one day of a year; before the changing of the clock and my “new year” starts is what I have come to find as the meat and potatoes of my spiritual practice.  

After the serious crying, mourning, communication, divination…then we will play drums, games, break a piñata, decorate pumpkins and eat so much candy our bellies will hurt.  We know too that our Ancestors, and dearly departed impart that wisdom…”enjoy being human, and those things that make you happy to be so.” 

I do not know what you do to celebrate this ritual at your home, or in your circle and would really happy to have you share that underneath this post.  As always, I thank you for the gift of your time, and the love that you send to us and ours here in the Bible Belt as you read this post.

How to have a “Dumb Supper”:

Cook some of the favorite dishes of people you have known and loved.  For example my Papaw loved German Chocolate cake thus I always bake one at Samhain.  Sit at the Table with your family and leave an empty chair (or pull it up to the table) for your dearly departed.  Pray, invite them to partake of the food with you. 

After you are done eating “re-decorate” the table and make sure to pour drinks in the glasses, use the good china, and fill plates to a heaping.  I lay out one for every person I can think of (make sure the table is full and the food is a heaping).  Leave the food out overnight, and in the morning clean the table, burn incense, and thank them from the bottom of your heart.  If you have a candle you designated just for them, let it burn down to the end to release all the love and happiness you send them.  Your Ancestors will thank you for it, and you will be grateful you took the time to acknowledge all those people in your life who formed and shaped you into the wonderful person you are!

“To all of those who came before me, I thank you.  May I leave the tree of our family sturdier, and may I leave the path behind me wider and safer for those who follow behind me…” SMB!* 

 (P.S.  The pictures are to give you a clue where I came from...Hope those are Southern enough for you!!!!)

May the Circle be Unbroken (LISTEN TO THIS LINK...CLICK)

Rev. Sonya Miller is a Highpriestess of the ATC and the Co-founder and Priestess of the Temple of the Sacred Gift-ATC.  She teaches classes at her Temple offering hands on learning face to face.  She has taught workshops locally for the Pagan community, had the pleasure of Presenting and Performing a ritual at the Pagan Unity Festival in Nashville, Tn helping people Erect " Little Egyptian altars everywhere" in an Egyptian ritual.

She presented a workshop at Gathering of the Tribes and delivered main ritual with an "Egyptian Flare" for the Tribes to build permanent structures in their cities and towns sending them home with firm foundations and Pagan Pride.  She has persistently published Southern Fried Pagan and was honored to be a presenter at her mother church in Index, Washington sharing the mysteries of Ma-at and Anubis at Hecate's Sickle ( The Aquarian Tabernacle Church Fall Mysteries).

 Her greatest feat thus far has been meeting her hero Pete Pathfinder (and secret crush) face to face, marrying the man she truly loved, and delivering safely a young "Golden Child".  She lives in East Memphis with a handsome Highpriest husband, Brian Clark, a rambunctious pagan toddler, a Boston Terrier named Betty, a Cat named Bowie, and a rabbit named Ruby.  Her motto in life is..."Fortes fortuna adiuuat"-----and you will find her almost every night of the week at the Temple of the Sacred Gift (www.tsg-atc.org)where the Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot!

Why is it so hard to start a coven? OR is it really that hard to start one?

" Xwitch made a suggestion that it hard to get into a coven. I think this would be somewhat true and depends on where you live. e.g., I would love to be able to organise a study group/coven in my local area, I thought about doing flyers or a mail box drop advertising as such but then I feel that I would get phone calls or emails from negative people and/or a mole might get in, kinda like what we get in this group, and a heap of other factors that have turned me off it completely. Mind you though I have gotten a flyer in my mail box about a local churches bible study group so I see it as a huge unfairness on us as Wiccans that we still have to hide away even with all the laws protecting us."

I have decided to address one of these today on a public forum because I want there to be MORE Pagan/Wiccan/Witch groups not less. But for that to happen, I need to share in a bigger way how to start your own coven.  FIRST, let me state there are not "all of these laws out there" protecting you as a Wiccan unless you decided to get organized and get a Legal 501c3 Religious organization license.  For you to think that your coven will be protected is naive, study the law and all of the cases and you will see time and time again the odds are stacked against you.  You live in a world where people understand Church, Temple, Worship center but they do not understand "coven/circle/grove/backyard".  So if you think that forming a coven will protect you and your buddies from "discrimination" and that you can do anything you want and sue then think again...that is not the way the law or the world works.  This is why after years of leading covens my husband and I banded together and organized and formed a legal 501c3 Wiccan Church  with a whole bunch of other fabulous folks (Wicca is protected Pagan and Witch are not).

IF however, you want to form a coven with people because you have a sincere desire to learn, to grow, and to practice magick with people you enjoy then you have the RIGHT reason to form a coven.  So first I would advise you to sit still and figure out WHY you want to form a coven.  If it is for POWER POWER POWER or because you are Lonely then DO not form a coven those are not good reasons.  NEXT, what kind of coven do you want it to be?  Do you want it to be a women's only group?  Do you want it to study the Celtic path?  Is it eclectic?  Hellenistic? etc.  Do you know anything about these areas?  IF not, then be honest and say I want this to be a coven for people that are new to the path and want to learn together. DO NOT( and I repeat this do not) call yourself a Highpriestess if you have no experience on the path; give it time you will grow into that role the Goddess truly initiates her own and you will know when that "title" is right for you. Priest and Priestess we all are, but Highpriestess or Highpriest is earned.

This is the tricky part...are you starting the coven alone?  If you are then you have to decide are you going to be the leader?  Would you rather it be a leaderless group? If there is a leader will it be just you or are you going to share that responsibility oh and HOW WELL do you know them?  Where are you going to worship, a park or your back yard?  Do you want to have a bunch of people worshiping in your home but you have no control over what happens?  If not, then you do not want a leaderless group worshiping in your back yard.  (BTW I love how people say this alot because I do not believe in leaderless groups, whomever founded it and whomever home it is at is the leader and if who founded it and the house used to do it are owned and run by two different people there usually are issues that arise I am sharing this from alot of experience. Because truthfully we humans like boundaries, rules, leaders, and struggle with control all of us do.)  

What kind of rules do you want to have?  Yes, Covens have rules, like you have to study with us for three months before we decided whether we want to take you on or not.  OR you are only a first degree after a year and a day and we initiate you.  Oh yes, what kind of initiation will you have? What kind of mission will your coven have?  Or you all going to do things to help each other, help the library, what about the food bank, etc?  How will you dress?  Will you wear robes, wear street clothes, etc?

HOW many people do you want in your group?  Remember the more people it seems the merrier but if this is your first time the more people who share energy the more you have to get them to mesh, get along, and be in sync and this is so much harder than it looks on the surface.  WHO or HOW are you going to pay for all the rituals?  Cakes and ale, herbs, resins, stones, incense,  altars, altar cloths, God and Goddess statues, cauldrons, sage sticks, all of these things cost money...so how are you all going to pay for this?  When I first started we all rotated this together one week I provided candles the next the sage and incense, etc.  HOW often are you going to meet?  Every week thus every moon cycle, every new moon, every full moon, only dark moons, etc...THIS is important for if you do not meet enough the bonds are not there and the group falls apart.  IF you meet to soon you burn out and then the group also falls apart.

HOW long do you want the coven to work?  Would you like to re-address it every year?  Every three years?  How will you know when it is done...I am not saying you will have the answer to all of these going in, but if you think about all of this BEFORE you try to form a coven then you have a leg up and might be able to make it work.  Because, let it be stated here that leading, organizing, and running anything is hard work so if you work 40 plus hours and have many other obligations (like many children and a high maintenance marriage or full time college) starting and running a coven is NOT for you!  Being in one, now that might be more your speed and for Goddess sake if you cannot run one and know it please be nice to the person that is sacrificing their time, home, and energy it is a HARD job; respect them!

NOW after you have done all of these things, and have decided you have the time and energy and money to do this thing and know where you are going to meet then what?  Advertise.  Yep, you heard me, advertise.  Do it on Facebook say I am forming a group, and send me an email if interested.  PUT up flyers in the coffee shop, or occult store, or at the New age place, or at your local Wiccan church. Twitter it if you want! Once again have them email you if interested not call you. DO NOT advertise your phone number that is a mistake!

WHEN they email you send them back a list of questions that answers for you why they are interested, what their experience is, and if they have psychological issues, or drug and alcohol addictions (yes, please ask this sure they can lie but you will be surprised how many will be honest and you don't want to start off with people that might not benefit from this spiritual path due to psychological issues or addiction issues).  Read the emails, screen them, pick your favorite then call these people back and set up an appointment to meet them face to face!  Make sure it is in a open area like a coffee shop and go meet them and talk and see how you feel about them.  IF you like them set up a date for a future time and get together again, do this until you feel comfortable and add people as you go...and then VOILA!  You have the startings of a coven anything more than three is just that...!

NOW see it really is not as hard as you thought?  It really is more common sense than you realized?  Of course it is.  IF you feel a need or a calling to start a group, then please do so...if it does not work out then so what you tried.  If it does work then WOO HOO you are on your way to growing together!

GOOD LUCK, and GODDESS BLESS.  My email is revsonyamiller@gmail.com if you need any further advice or help in this area for that is what I am here for.  

 

No matter what you call me I will always be your mother....

Mother, Mommy, Ma-Ma, Ma...These are all words we down south use to describe the Female person that gave birth to us.  I say this because it is important to note, that you can have several mothers over a lifetime.  Those who are adopted say...this is my Biological mother but such and such was my "real mother".  Children of divorce say "step mother" and "real mother" of course this does not reveal which they love more.  I have met many people that never knew their "biological mother" or had a "step mom" but had a "nother mother" usually a friends mom, or a teacher, a mentor, and sometimes just sometimes she is or could be your Highpriestess.

I have decided to talk about Mothers because Mother's day has just finished.  The Temple this weekend is doing a "Mothering Rite of Passage" and so I find that my mind has been on trying to define this "title" again and again so that it is not exclusive and more inclusive.  Here are some of the discoveries I came to about this term and role. 

First of all we all have in our minds a stereotype or expectation of what a MOTHER is.  Yes, think about it you do.  It is not fair, nor is it correct but each and everyone of us can tell you very quickly whether we think our own personal mother was a "good one" or a "bad one".  Also, I want to point out that women ourselves judge each other by our own standard of what a "good mother" or "bad mother" is.  We say..."she is not a great mother", or "she does such and such" implying a woman is a bad mother.  Really who are we to judge?

Of course if you are locking your child in the basement and not feeding it, or clothing it child protective services should be called in...but if it is just that one mother is more "protective" or "disciplined" than another mother who cares? 

 

 

Look at the picture above you this is ONE of the many faces and aspects of my Goddess ISIS.  She is considered one of the major Archetypes of Motherhood.  She is the Universal MAMA.  Horus called her Mommy.  We never see her scold him, or here her get stressed out and tell him "no!"  We do not read her typing blogs that give tips on "raising a toddler" or "cussing because he is driving her insane (tongue in cheek)" but I am sure there were days when Isis felt this way even about her little Godling child.  People assume that Isis was the PERFECT mother and with this assumption if you worship her or are her priestess you find that you as a human fall short time and time again.  It is okay though, because I am going to share with you a story about her that fills her in a bit better and shows you more of the kind of mother she was and is.

Horus was a young man (think twenty something like our millenium children).  He had decided he was going to get revenge for his father Osiris' murder and slay Set his uncle and his Mother Isis brother.  He had been told by her, and by his Uncle Thoth that he could not kill Set and that he had to be patient and let the council of Gods discuss and figure out a way to peacefully settle the dispute between him and Set so that both people and all the population of Egypt could live their lives pretty smoothly.  Horus was impatient, this seemed stupid to him and obvious that the Elders and his Mother was wrong.  So he went out and confronted his Uncle Set near the Nile and challenged him to a duel for the kingdom.

Isis (being a mother) sensed her son was in danger and came to the river banks to help.  She decides that she must "save" Horus from his older and stronger Uncle/her brother and pulls up a harpoon and launches it at Set to kill him.  However, Set being clever sees it and pushes Horus in front of it thus her harpoon pierces her son Horus' side.  Horus, without thought, immediately runs to the river banks where his mother is and in a fit of rage and without explanation chops her head off (kerplop!).  He does not ask Why, or give her time to explain the accident he acts on his own accord judging her actions and does a horrible thing.  Thus beheading the woman who risked her life to give birth to him.

Thoth, the eternal wise God, appears and replaces Isis' head with that of the Sacred Cow or Bull depending on the dynasty and so from this point on she is not seen with the headdress of a THRONE but with the sacred Horns upon her head always.   IN the year 2013 it is hard to find an Isis without this headdress on and a very rare and highly prized possession indeed to find her wearing the throne or the wings of a vulture alone.  BUT, before her son Horus cut the Apron strings from her she was primarily a bird goddess, a moon goddess, a ruler, and a mother.  AFTER, all of this muckity muck with her own Son Isis still goes on to defend him and argue very logically on his behalf sticking with it patiently until he finally does "win" his quest and acheives his goal of the throne.

Isis was not perfect.  She deserts her son at times in the story to search for her husband leaving 7 scorpions to take care of him and other nature deities.  Isis lies to Ra and tricks him to get her husband Osiris resurrected.  Isis slays people in her way, and does anything she can at times to protect her child and make sure her husband and his kingdom is properly taken care of.  YET, after all this time most only see Isis as just a Mother.  If she lived today...what kind of mother would we judge her to be?

When I first started on my Path with Isis she nurtured me and coddled me, but after about a year she started to tell me that "I could figure it out"  and that "I knew what to do" or better yet "Handle it and let me know how it goes."  I did not like this answer from a Goddess I thought would be a good "Mother" to me.  As I have aged, and have raised more than just four children I have come to see that I judged her very "harshly" and that maybe the best thing I could do is worship a Mother Goddess who constantly evolved as she grew thus forcing me to do the same. I wanted her to coddle me, I wanted her to "lie" to me, I wanted her to "do it for me".  Hmmmm sounds strangely familiar huh?  No wonder why people seem to give Highpriestess and Clergy if they are female a hard time sometimes....They expect us to be an unrealistic Goddess Mother.

Things to think about...What do you think being a Mother is?  What are your expectations of a Mother?  What kind of Mother are  you?  What kind of Mother did you have?  What kind of Mother do you want to be?  How do you Mother yourself?  Do you have unrealistic expectations of Goddess as a Mother?

I want to end showing you this picture because I think it is a pretty accurate representation of our Modern times, and Isis likes it...because everyone is not perfect we are just learning. 

A modern day ISIS perhaps?  Let us all re-think Mother, and Mothers, and Goddess Mothers and Women in Mothering roles and see them bloom and unfurl as they are naturally evolving like the Goddess we worship. 

 

 

 

"I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin'"

This year I cooked Thanksgiving dinner at my house.  Using a Kitchen that I did not design, buy or know.  It was my mother-in-laws kitchen.  Well loved by her and well used by her; but for me it was awkward, cramped, and finally I adjusted. 



This year has been a tough one.  My husband lost his mother, me my mother in law, all of our children a grandmother and that loss has been felt.  To make matters weirder we moved in her home which we inherited and we live here.  Yep, everytime Brian's children come to visit us they have to walk into this home where their grandmother just lived and now doesn't anymore. I find myself worried about how that makes them feel.  Does it even ever cross their mind?  When they look around the room does their inside voice say in their head to them "Here is where my grandmother put her Christmas tree, etc...and now I will never see it again."  I wish I could balm their pain, and ease their loss but instead I invited them over for Thanksgiving dinner.  Which is the way we Southern Mommies love their children.

Before I moved into the house I had it painted and completely transformed it with color so that when I walked into it I did not see Mamie everywhere.  My fellow goddesses called it "making the house my own".  I kept on telling myself people buy houses from other people, or move into houses where people have died just recently.  I know though the reason I agreed to move here is because it was something my husband wanted to do.  It was if as long as he could live in his mothers home it would comfort him somehow....and I was okay with that because if that is what he needed to get over his grief and to eventually help him with his loss then who am I to stand in his way?  My job as I saw it was to give him what he wanted, while trying to compromise and make it to where it did not seem so strained and more peaceful to me.

The Templites (this is what we call our community because we find it very positive) all gathered together to bless me on this new venture and gathered a beautiful basket, witchy kitchen towels, a bottle red wine, a loaf of bread, incense, pink salt, candles, and fresh herbs that I would need to bless my home.  I blessed our home, I swept out the negativity and asked each and every God and Goddess to please move into our home.  Constantly I stroke the walls and tell the home I love it and am so appreciative of its beauty. I have pruned and petted the pear tree and apple tree in the yard until they seem newly rejuvenated.  I built altars at the apple trees base, and in the middle of the pear tree there was a altar hole alread with a pre-faded fairy door and window.  I have laid out offerings to the land spirits.  I have made way for the fairies and am building them homes along with the brownies and gnomes that have made their presence known. 

I have visions of how the home will look, and have finally gotten the outside painted as beautiful as the interior with french vanilla and dark burgundy cherry shutters and door.  The front flower bed with unkept roses has been pruned, and offerings of coins, and corn, and beautiful stones have been lovingly places at the borders so that the God Geb will feel our gratitude; and know that we are happy!  Life is sunny! Life is prosperous!  Life is abundant!  Life is beautiful if only we create it and take the time to do the work making it so...

I invited some really good friends to join us for the dinner with our grown children in our new home that I am adjusting too.  The home filled with light, laughter, lots of stories, children played in the home.  Games were played.  Wine was enjoyed.  Desserts were divine. 

I looked at everyone laughing and smiling and I realized that if I really do direct the Movie of my life that I had led it in a new direction.  I was tired of feeling grief, feeling guilty, being awkward.  I had re-written my script.  I was in love with a handsome man who loved me back in a healthy way; had beautiful healthy children; smart, talented, witty friends; a beautiful home; a fulfilling paying job; and a full spiritual life.  I had people who loved me, encouraged me, and were loyal, I have Gods and Goddesses that are evidently working in my life.  I have many children (four) and several grandchildren now (three).  My life is full!  My life is beautiful!  Life is good!

This year was the first time I was the grandmother and the Crone of my family that took care of everyone.  I was the eldest female, and I had somehow or another stepped into my role relatively easy. I remember being the grandaughter that was a little girl sitting on the counter while my Mamaw made brownies.  I remember being the woman that went to her mothers not bringing a thing because she was so poor and in college.  I remember coming to Mamies (my mother in law) with just a dish or two trying to help her more and more as she got older.  Now I am in her role, and in my Moms role, and where my Mamaw was.  I am the Head of the female household here...the changing of the guard was inevitable it always is.

As I wash the dishes and place things in the dishwasher I marvel at the relative ease that I really pulled that big meal off with and how smoothly I did step into that role.  The turkey was moist, the stuffing good, the gravy warm not too cold...and I hear my inner maiden say "oh no we are grown up!"  "It's okay"  I say out loud to her to comfort her.  I have been preparing for this role my whole life and had no idea.  I am so glad I had the Mother, Mother in law, the Mamaw, who patiently showed me what I was supposed to do when they were gone.

"Thank you Ladies!"  I say aloud.  "Thank you Isis!"  I say to my Goddess.  "Thank you house and kitchen for working with me today."  I say to our new dwelling.

I listen with my mundane ears and my "unseen ones"...."You're welcome"  I hear the air vibrate back to me.