So it has been awhile. My husband got bronchitis which developed into pneumonia, I got a severe cold and then the baby got the same. Life decided to show me how I was not in control…at all. Which is funny because at the time, it seemed like I was surfing the big wave of life, doing aerials, body curves, and not crashing; I was euphoric and mesmerized at my abilities to do things I had no idea I could do. The water went still, there were no waves to ride. I had to wait. I was not happy, I was frustrated and struggling with the new tempo of my life.
Now I have never claimed to be a patient person but as I have grown older I realize I am more patient than I seem. However, I think the Gods were getting a big whooping laugh that made them roll on the floor to see me chomping at the bit for several weeks realizing physically I could not do what my mind “instructed me to do”.
Sitting still, and not doing much of anything other than staring at pictures on a Television screen is almost meditative and very trance like. It can bring to the surface all those things you were “on purpose” or “not on purpose” staying so busy for so that you did not have to deal with them. I run and swim so fast in the stream of life that I can mark it in the following way. Mamaw died when I was 30, two years later I finally admitted it, 3 years later I cried a lot, 8 years later I got peace with it. WHY? Because I made sure I stayed busy so as to “Not think, and Not feel, and Not have to deal with the truth of the matter.”
However, my life does not work this way anymore I have no idea if it is the “instant manifesto Highpriestess thing” or if I have really just grown that much. So out comes the issues I have not had time to deal with, and they were less than a year old…still hurting and I had to deal with them. I am not saying I dealt with them the best way possible, like all of you I am still learning. I am not perfect, nor do I know more than everyone, but I do listen, and work through things. BTW in case you did not know, I am harder on me than anyone can ever be I do not give myself time to mourn, or feel sorry for myself, or to cry, or to even feel “loss or sorrow”. I was not taught these things as a child, so as an adult I just kept on rolling….NOT.
This weekend I let “out” the feelings of loss and sorrow and betrayal and hurt I had felt several months earlier. I let out the feelings of anger, and frustration. I humbled myself and received back every inch of love and caring I had given to a person who “would not pee on me if I was on fire”; and I bounced back (btw they did not give it to me many others did). I cried for about twenty four hours! Yep, I cried (something I never let myself do in public or private) and it felt good it was the damn being released; it was the balm of my soul; it was the arms of river goddesses telling me to let it go and flow and as it did I would realize it was just to feel this way and at the same time it was just an emotion. “Emotions are meant to be acknowledged, and to be expressed if you do not do either then they will come out in very strange ways.” That is what I heard, and what I saw, and what makes me smile.
Big whoop I feel! Big whoop I am not perfect! Big whoop life is not always flowing and tossing and turning! Thank goodness it got still and placid for me to see the truth of what was going on inside and outside of me! I had to strain out my well and get rid of the debris and yuckiness hanging about…I needed to be silly, and just let it all hang out. I think I am getting amused at all the Dark Goddess offerings I am making lately; but I really am enjoying the wisdom and insight she is showing me…I know later on down the road these lessons will be pivotal.
“Thank you Dark Mother, for pointing out to me gently that I am too hard on me; that I need to take the time to feel and mourn and express my emotions and that does not make me a “drama queen” but absolutely perfectly your co-creation. Thank you Dark Father for showing me that sometimes you have to sit still and do what ‘appears to be nothing’ so that ‘something powerful and beautiful’ can occur on the surface.”
How do you cope with being sick? How do you cope with having to take care of so many others that are sick in your household? How do you flow with the slow periods in your life when it feels you are dragging a tugboat of people and things and projects behind you? Do you stay so busy all the time that you have trouble reacting to loss, sorrow, and feelings or emotions? When you sit still, and there is no sound, no pictures, only you breathing are you scared and try to direct your thoughts to what you “have to do” or are you open and do you listen to see what you “need to hear” not “what needs to be done by X day”? These are the words of the Dark Moon, this is one of the mysteries revealed here.
OFFERING TO THE DARK MOTHER OR DARK GOD:
1. Find out when the dark moon cycle is. It is always BEFORE the new moon and is last period of your moon cycle. Research! Magick works with cycles not against them this is why you learn them and they are pivotal!
2. Pick a deity to work with that is associated with a Dark moon or is a Crone or Sage deity (I am using THOTH this year, you do realize there are Gods associated with the Dark moon right? ) Research...you can use Persephone as a Dark Maiden one month and Sekhmet another month, and Khonsu another month...but make sure their personalities and attributes resonate with that moon. Magick is a type of mathematics, the more you have in each column the more it adds up and the more likely you will get great results!
3. Use purple, grey, or black candles (Please take the time to look up what each color means, or think…what do these colors mean to me? For me Purple is dealing with deep psychic issues, grey with my shadow self, and black is for banishing) Research! Colors have been proven even in psychology to affect your moods this is deep magick when you light those candles you are telling your psyche what it is working on!
4. Use the appropriate incenses and herbs for your ritual (Hint: Black pepper, Sage, Damiana, possible Pine all will be welcome here). RESEARCH! Remember the more additions and bells and whistles you click off the more likely your magick spell will work as intended if you honor the Deity by doing research and presenting the proper herb for the spell "forgiveness" or "working with Hekate" you better believe they will take notice and respond!
4. For offerings you can just use one night of the dark moon, but for any kind of magickal working utilizing EVERY day of the phase is the most effective. On Dark moons I like to use all three nights, and I repeat what I did the nights before…and I am open to anything new I experience or receive. REMEMBER! Magick is worship, it is also an exchange of energy. Magick is also practice. How do you expect to get good at anything if you are not willing to do anything more than read about it? You have to practice it, the more you practice the better you get...three nights in a row, now that packs a punch. Seven nights? Two weeks, now you are getting the picture the more you concentrate on one spell until you get a result the more focused and more likely you are to get your result!
5. Realize that the Astrological phase of the Dark moon does have something to do with whatever issue you might want to learn about or work with,or are working through during a month. Yep there is a Scorpio Crone Mother moon, and a Maiden Aquarius Dark Moon both have strengths both insights are pivotal to your new you emerging. KNOW WHICH one you are working with and plan your spell, God or Goddess, Candles, herbs, stones, etc accordingly. Do not be the kind of person that thinks the Gods are just lucky you showed up with anything at all, respect the craft do the work and research and it will respect you!
6. Are you scared of the shadow you see when the sun hits you? Are you scared of the concept of DARK vs LIGHT ? Are you scared of what is really deep inside you beneath the surface? “I love my shadow! Isn’t she/he cool!” These are things you should say when you notice your real shadow. Dark Moon work happens whether you call on it or not. Whether you seek it out or not…so it is best to mark it, acknowledge it and have fun with it. Dark Moon magick is essential to learning, evolving and growing, as a human being and spiritual practitioner it is not about hexes and curses. Unless you call working on your own issues a "hex or curse".
So you have your candles, deities, salt, water, stones, herbs and you are sitting there in the dark after invoking your God or Goddess…now what? Tell them the truth! Tell them what you are going through, what REALLY happened, how you felt about it, how you feel about it now make sure you make the story as funny as possible or as sad as possible this is the time to really let that BIG emotions pour out. Tell them you do not know what it all means, or how it is going to help you or etc. Ask for their insights, thank them for showing you the “shadow of yourself”, thank them for everything warts and all…and remind them gently that you would like to learn these things about yourself in a gentle way, in a smooth as possible way. If you have a piece of jewelry, a card, a physical object, a mantra you want to dedicate to this time this would be the time to do it with earth, air, fire, water.
Lay out an appropriate offering for your deity, take what you just learned and Burn it, Bury it, or Drown it. It is that easy.
for those who have the blessed sight,
Accept my offering
Hear my prayer
Remind me that you are always there
nothing to fear
only to share
May I embrace you
May I remember that without you
there is no light
May I seek out and maintain
a state of balance in my life
and in the world I live in.
let me see your light!
come dance with me
and reflect back to me