Thursday, February 6, 2014

Buttermilk and Cornbread

Times to make amends, and move on further down the road; I have enjoyed posting my thoughts, and what I have learned from time to time.  At times, I realize I was “downright preachy” and at times I was “really whiny” but then there were times of “strength” and stretching out my wings to fly.  All of this was done with all of you; and I thank you for taking the time to read it, and comment.  

When I got to the point in my life when I realize that what I blogged would not only be “criticized” but “magnified” looking for error and possibly as a “bad image” as what Wiccan clergy and leaders can say and cannot say in public I realized; my life had changed.  Southern Fried Pagan was a blog set up to help share with others my feelings on various things; but truthfully one cannot and should not as Clergy share their feelings freely without realizing that they are an example to someone and so they should be given a filter when they get that license.  Wanting to be the best example possible (yeah I really want to be good at what I do), I found that rather than publish my meanderings of the mind to the public; I was writing them down “for only me”….and I am okay with that; some things should only be for you…and possibly burnt or published after you die; whichever the people left behind choose to do with it.

Somewhere around year two blogging, I realized my passion for the Path had gotten concentrated really on my own personal path which was Egyptian while my public life was one of service to an Eclectic Wiccan church but the sheer doggedness and stubbornness of my personality would not let me “give up” or “give in” the blog…I thought I might still have something to teach, share, or say and so I kept on a blogging even if it was with the help of others who have a gift for writing.  Thank you Jenn Kahn, Kevin Red Patrick, Julie Jeznach, and even Ashlee Misee of Teflon Cauldron days!

What I did not get to talk about on my blog since it was Southern Fried Pagan was my interest in the Old Occult authors, or in what is considered “High Magick” or “Energy Work” I just kept it sweet, southern, and clean…and no matter what I posted; I found some person in the community seemed to always think it was about them.  Thus I started posting recipes, bath salts, how to make incenses, and encouraging people to be happy, and accept love from the universe cause these are such simple principles and cannot be re-instated enough; and they kept me safe.  

I am not really tolerant of whiners, or bitchers, or people who slander, gossip, or stir the pot in a community.  So no matter what has gone on in my personal life for years, I have not commented on it here…and so I asked myself; what has been the point? The point was, I got to grow and think aloud with words with you all…the point was I got to learn discipline, not my voice really, but something akin to what my higher self would want me to say and then it became MY VOICE.  The point was, I got to see and meet a lot of kin and kin folk that “related” and understood that here in the Bible belt there was some huge moving and shaking going on…and they were in the form of Wiccan churches.  Yep, that is right I helped co-found one and it has made me grow more than miracle weed, and I am not the only one folks there are more and more being founded every day. (Thank you Goddess for that!)

I am not a perfect person, I am far from it, the way I see it is that if the Goddess and God can use me or even see me as a possible leader of any kind then I know for certain they can use anyone.  Seriously, they can!  I have shared with you all my transformation from being a fiery personality, to more of a stable Earthy woman…the irony being that in my twenties I could not even find that part of myself.  I have withstood death, abuse, loss, bankruptcy, heartbreak, betrayal, all kinds of crap…just like you all.  I have raised three children over 23 and now I am doing it all again with a three year old; I was an iniate, a dedicant, a maiden, a Highpriestess, and now I am Wiccan Clergy.  I have been Maiden, Mother, something in between, and now I am walking with the Crone through menopause which is really sort of cool.  I am not dead, very far from it and happy to be so…I am just transformed.

I have walked a cycle of life, in these little size 7 ½ feet and I want to walk another cycle…where it leads me I have no idea…but I know service, worship, being a better Clergy, building a better community, enjoying what the Gods have given me and all forms of abundance and love is part of it….and that means you all I have to thank cause you have helped me get here.

I have not a clue, if I will ever blog again…but if I do, I will pick a less confining name, and take my time before I leap in because now I have come to REALLY understand the power of words (the irony of this statement is not lost on me since I teach it to first degrees ) .

I encourage you all to know that you are Sacred, perfect as you are, so loved that you have no idea, and worthy of all that love and the best in life.  I pray if you long for a Wiccan/Pagan/Witchy group that if you cannot Find one then you Found one; we could use more people like us…we make life colorful, magical, and full of potential.  Lastly, be patient with yourself and with others, babies take time to be born and so do you. Remember, children of the earth that you are never alone and the time for action is not tomorrow or yesterdayit is always and always will be NOW!

"Before I went to bed at night, my daddy would share a glass of buttermilk and cornbread with me in a beautiful Tall glass with a spoon. I loved the taste of bitter and sweet mixed together the cold and the dry textures all mixing like a typhoon in my mouth...."

Thank you for all your time, and energy…and stop in to see me sometime at the Temple of the Sacred Gift-ATC ( I will be there, with a glass of sweet tea and a smile on my face, and a bear hug…cause if I know anything at all, I know that you can never love people too much (so let me love you). 

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