Are you sure it isn't the Cherry on top?

I just got back from New Orleans, Louisiana.  My husband Brian and I went there to get some “couple time”.  It is a funny thing that happens when you start running any kind of business or organization when you get married you get to running around so much you forget what got you propelled to where you are in the first place.  I have not forgotten.  Before I met Brian I was pretty cool.  After I met Brian everything fell together for me, and I relaxed into life. 

We fell in love.  I think we knew the minute we met each other that nothing from that moment would be the same.  We are still in love.  People forget this at times since we are just a 40-something couple and a High priest and Highpriestess of a Wiccan Temple.  No, we don’t bandy about naked underneath the full moon.  No, we are not swingers or in a cool “open” or polyamorous relationship we are just two people; who met and fell in love. In short very unusually boring for a Pagan anything especially in the year 2013.

We open and close the Temple of the Sacred Gift four (at least) out of seven days a week with a few other couples in the church.  It is hard to maintain a good relationship with your significant other when you both work all day, and then come home to grab food and run up to teach a class, shake hands with strangers, sell wares, run circles, bless homes, and banish spirits. Usually one of us has to stay home with our Pagan Toddler so the other can serve the community and maintain the ministry; but, somehow or another we have maintained it. 

How?  By feeding and filling our well.  Normal people, call it “hard work”  I will call it taking trips to New Orleans, trips to Nashville, trips to Gatlinburg, renting a Hotel room, going out to dinner, and buying each other things to express our love for one another.  When we chose together the Temple logo we placed in the middle the cup and athame; a symbol for the merging and interconnectedness of the God and the Goddess themselves.  Many look at this symbol for the “Great Rite” and laugh and say it is all about the sex.  Hey, I will not lie sex is a physical way of expressing the “Great Rite” in fact it is probablly the cherry on top of all of life.  However, after being married in more than one way to a person I will tell you it is more about the collaborations that occur between the female and male within each of us and being comfortable enough to share that with each other than great bedroom shenanigans that truly is the GREAT RITE.

We have collaborated on raising four children together Brian and I.  We have collaborated on paying bills together, on retiring together, on taking care of each other when we are sick.  We have collaborated on building a physical worship space together and a spiritual one not only for people that come and ask for guidance; but for each other.  He has his path, which is Eclectic and I have mine which is very much Egyptian Heka.  We collaborate on work schedules, and doctors’ appointments, and on insurances, and on who is going to mow the lawn and who will fold and put up the laundry.  In fact, there is not one area of our life that is not collaboration, and I feel that this is truly what the” Great Rite” is all about.  It is not about two people becoming one in a hot sweaty embrace it is about two people whose lives intersect and respect, love and admire one another in and outside of the sexual act.

 

 

Today, I read a prayer aloud to the Goddess Opis and re-minded myself who she was and what Opulence truly is.  It seems many people can define Opulence as being diamonds, pearls, fancy cars, chandeliers, and over the top “lifestyles of the rich and famous”.  Yet, it seems to me since very few of us will ever experience that kind of opulence that maybe what it really is about is figuring out what your Opulence is.  To me, Opulence is being married to and being the Highpriestess of Brian Miller.  To me, building a life with this person, sharing a world with him, living in a home with him, and co-creating a Temple and community with him is Opulence.  BTW so is the Great Rite with him…J 

 

Thank you for letting me share what I feel is the "cherry on top" of life!

Under the Sun

This weekend I was honored to take part in my very first pagan festival, The Brothers of the Sun. What an amazing experience! I was welcomed in to a group of pagan men from various traditions as a brother. I learned so much about male camaraderie, masculine energy, and other male mysteries. And I definitely learned a good bit about myself. What I learned most was that my family tree of pagans has more branches and deeper roots than I realized.

I wish I could share with you all everything I learned this weekend, but these are men’s mysteries. What I can share with you is that I learned that this community of men is not a group of bystanders at the will and service of their witches. These men are roves seeking their own destiny, fathers shaping their future and the future of those they love, and sages manifesting the will of paganism as a whole. I am proud to call these men my brothers.

I can also share with you what I learned about myself. I practiced a solitary path for many years. When I was led to formal training at Temple of the Sacred Gift I looked upon this training in a preconceived notion of what a church is supposed to be. I also looked at my training as a training of rules, guide lines, and how-to’s on the right way and wrong way to practice and worship. I had decided without thinking that because this training was from an eclectic church and not a coven I would still be a solitary witch. I would be a part of a fellowship of like-minded individuals and learn what has been written and recorded about witchcraft. I would take this information and apply it to my own spiritual practice but ultimately I would still be a solitary because I wasn’t practicing like anyone else; my roots were my own.

Just before I left for my men’s weekend, my teacher invited me and others to be a part creative part of Southern Fried Pagan. Our first task was to create our bios for the page so that readers would know who we are and from what perspective our views originate. I did this quickly, because I had began writing a blog of my own earlier this year. I sent it to her and she wrote me back to inform me that I needed to look at blog bios because they tend to be short and to the point. And I wasn’t a solitary like I claim any longer. My first reaction was who is she to tell me I’m not a solitary. I latched on to my ideas of what my training was going to be and swung from the tree limb beating my chest. I have thankfully learned to avoid discussing things until I have had time to think about them. I used the weekend to plan on what I was going to say to my teacher to make her understand and accept my idea. Funny I know. Tell your high priestess she’s wrong about something she’s been formally teaching for a few years.

I was involved in a casual conversation with a sage of high respect as a brother one night during this weekend. He was saying something about the students he teaches and how he has to teach to each one differently because they are different people. This sparked in my head and I said, “Aha!” I realized now why I needed to go to college to become a teacher of elementary school only to leave that field. Differentiated instruction, the biggest concept of my college training. And this high priest has been using it for a lot longer than it has been in practice in public schools. I then began to think about teaching and how friends in college would tell professors that the idea of differentiated instruction, teaching to reach every level and type of student and to each individual student, was good in theory but wasn’t realistic. After some time examining lesson plans of differentiated instruction and some training on how to construct them, I was quite able to apply this skill. I thought, “How dumb are they to tell the teacher their wrong.”

“AHA!”

What had I just done? I had to think about this. I looked around and saw the men and the ways they did things. I learned the connections these men had and why they had them. I saw practices of various sages being used by the fathers and learned by the roves. Some of these were discussed openly after rituals and workshops. And the answer to my quandary was revealed. Traditions were made and passed on and are being passed on. These traditions were not limited to the men or this festival. I realized I wasn’t just learning what someone else had learned; I was learning traditions. Now my high priestess and high priest and maiden and squire had told us this many times. It never made it past my preconception. This weekend I saw the traditions from one hand to the next. I was a part of these traditions. I learned a way of thinking and doing that had been passed down from generations much older than one that attended the festival.

 

No I am not a part of a coven, but I am part of a tradition. It is an eclectic one. But it is a tradition. I have brothers and I have sisters. I have fathers and mothers. I have grandfathers and grandmothers. I am not alone anymore unless I choose to be. I choose it no longer. I WAS a solitary pagan. Now, I am a Templite.  

My advice: If you are practicing solitary do not seclude yourself. Get out and be part of the community. If you wish to be part of a group, which in my opinion most of us do, get out and do whatever it takes to find an accepting, loving group. A new light will dawn within you. The Charge of the Goddess states, “If that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never find it without.” I hold that some things cannot be found within unless we actively seek them without. Paganism is about community and traditions. If you do not make yourself a part of the community you will not know paganism completely. I may be wrong. These are just the ideas of a seeker in training.

 

Kevin Red Patrick is a seeker at Temple of the Sacred Gift – ATC. Raised in Memphis, TN, and educated at the University of Mississippi. His pagan path began at the age of thirteen after understanding that his views of life, spirituality, and sexuality did not align with his Christian upbringing. He has followed an eclectic Wiccan path with strong Celtic influences for twenty-two years. Divine direction led him to TSG-ATC in December of 2012, where he is now receiving formal training with aspirations of becoming clergy. He now lives in Southaven, MS with his partner of thirteen years and two dogs.

She was as quiet as the raindrops hitting a tin roof....

I haven't spoken to you all in a while.  I did not know what to say.  I felt whatever I said it would be read under a microscope, picked at, scraped at, and possibly misconstrued.  Then I realized, sometimes silence is okay; but being "scared to be judged" is not.  Let us all be honest here, you would think with me being Clergy of a Wiccan Church I would expect to be judged, and scraped over the coals.  You do and that is by the Christians usually, or people that just really ""have no idea" what Wiccan/Witch/Pagan is; BUT you do not expect fellow Pagans to do the same; but they will.  What sets an Elder Clergy apart from a "pretty new only four year Clergy" apart is the attitude.  They have all been burned, and hurt and threatened at many points and probably continually but their hides are thick and their shields even thicker and they have been there and done that and realize that you "cannot please everyone" and that "someone has to do the work". Yet, they still love and have compassion and take chances on new people every day!

By the way, believe it or not, Pagan Clergy is a fastly growing phenomenon in the South.  Especially in the ATC (Aquarian Tabernacle Church) which we are an affiliate of.  It is not that I lacked training, my local elders gave me classes.  My Midsouth elders heaped more classes on me, I have read more than twenty books on it and I am constantly increasing my library to be better at it; but in reality there is NO real preparation that can happen to prepare you for the transition from Highpriestess of a coven to Clergy of a Temple.  You have to get that the "old fashioned" way my Elders did through trials by fire.

Let it be stated at this vantage, that the Elders here in the Midsouth/South  are the best I have ever met.  They have stamina, they have passion, their magick is incredible, their wisdom deep, and their love and acceptance for the new Clergy makes one feel right at home.  When you hurt, they listen and they will pat your back from time to time but the best thing they do for me is push me and prod me and make me jump back in there and believe in the "work" even when I do not "mentally" feel it.  In fact, they have taught me that "following the will of the Gods is paramount" and that to "serve others" and "share the sacraments of the Gods" with others my real calling.  I felt the call, I was naturally a driven person but for some reason we people that want to "give and share with others" seem to think we can please everyone.  I am one of those people; and guess what I cannot.

I share this with you because I want you to understand that Pagan Clergy are not super human, we have frailties and flaws and we learn from our mistakes just like everyone else.  Sure we know a few things, maybe a lot of knowledge, but what makes a great Clergy seems to be time, consistency, and love oh my Goddess the love just pouring through you like an invocation that never stops...."Isis, please use me today.  Isis please help me be better.  Isis, please help me listen with your ears.  Isis, please as I walk your path may I be considerate to others.  Isis, show me how to help my community."   Then one day you realize it is this constant "nagging" that shows you are insecure, sure you want to serve but you don't exactly know how to do that and so you have to come and "trust" a power higher than yourself to walk you through it.  You are constantly improvising; gathering knowledge as you go understanding that every case is different and every situation new and unfolding.

I thought I was a horrible candidate for clergy five years ago.  I probably was, but my Elders saw something in me (just like my Gods did) that I never could see.  It might have been my determination, or my passion for my Gods but they have held up a mirror to show me parts of my self and have taught me to love all of them even the "darker ones". Through this, I have come to accept "dark and light" in Sonya and have come to see that it all works as balance and counter balance and that all of my skills that are called into play are "light and dark" at times.  All of life is not happy...in our circles we point out that life is where "joy and sorrow, pain and happiness all come together and meet making one energy".  How funny I could say that line for more than five years, and yet until recently could not apply it to myself.

 We women had gathered for a healing circle.  Beside me were two mighty sisters and Crones, next to me a sister I have come to love more and more; the energy was being raised for healing. We all intoned wordlessly together and there in that circle patterns and harmonies and melodies arose!  Each woman singing her own natural tone, her own natural rhythmn and it was beautiful to hear!  As the energy wound down I looked over and saw one of my own community sisters crying; her pain was so fresh it hurt me to watch.  Without thought, I ran to her and put her in my arms and held her head to my shoulder and rocker her until she was calm and okay.  We toned a sorrow howl together for a moment, it was just her and me though all those women were still singing.  

RIGHT THEN I remembered telling an Elder Clergy I would never be that kind of woman, the kind that babied people and held them while they cried; I did not see that I was capable of it; but that woman had evolved and she had embraced change and sorrow and joy and happiness...and there Me and she was and I KNEW.  I was going to be good at this job!  Hell, I might already be good!  

I could credit all the Ministers who coddled me and fed my spirit (White, Black, Christian, Catholic, Presbyterian, UU, Episcopalean, Pagan Female, Male).  I can point out journeys, or insights I have had from my Gods that verify this path for me....but none of that has mattered until that "moment" a few weeks ago.

So if you don't like this post; ignore it.  It is okay, NO ONE is for everybody!  However, if you can relate and this post resonates with you...pass it on.  It is important (I think) for people to realize Pagan Clergy are human, and we learn together as the WHOLE community grows (and if you are pagan that means you!).  I am so grateful and so very happy that this is my path, and that I have the opportunity to share that joy with so many of you!

THIS week...remember that all of you is Sacred even the parts you do not like.  Remember that all of you is necessary there is only ONE you and you are the most unique wonderful you ever!

As always...thank you for the gift of your time.

" One two three, One two three, Step, shuffle, slide, Dance in the Dark with me!"

So it has been awhile.  My husband got bronchitis which developed into pneumonia, I got a severe cold and then the baby got the same.  Life decided to show me how I was not in control…at all.  Which is funny because at the time, it seemed like I was surfing the big wave of life, doing aerials, body curves, and not crashing; I was euphoric and mesmerized at my abilities to do things I had no idea I could do.  The water went still, there were no waves to ride.  I had to wait. I was not happy, I was frustrated and struggling with the new tempo of my life.

Now I have never claimed to be a patient person but as I have grown older I realize I am more patient than I seem.  However, I think the Gods were getting a big whooping laugh that made them roll on the floor to see me chomping at the bit for several weeks realizing physically I could not do what my mind “instructed me to do”.  

Sitting still, and not doing much of anything other than staring at pictures on a Television screen is almost meditative and very trance like.  It can bring to the surface all those things you were “on purpose” or “not on purpose” staying so busy for so that you did not have to deal with them.  I run and swim so fast in the stream of life that I can mark it in the following way.  Mamaw died when I was 30, two years later I finally admitted it, 3 years later I cried a lot, 8 years later I got peace with it.  WHY?  Because I made sure I stayed busy so as to “Not think, and Not feel, and Not have to deal with the truth of the matter.”  

However, my life does not work this way anymore I have no idea if it is the “instant manifesto Highpriestess thing” or if I have really just grown that much.  So out comes the issues I have not had time to deal with, and they were less than a year old…still hurting and I had to deal with them.  I am not saying I dealt with them the best way possible, like all of you I am still learning.  I am not perfect, nor do I know more than everyone, but I do listen, and work through things.  BTW in case you did not know, I am harder on me than anyone can ever be I do not give myself time to mourn, or feel sorry for myself, or to cry, or to even feel “loss or sorrow”.  I was not taught these things as a child, so as an adult I just kept on rolling….NOT.

This weekend I let “out” the feelings of loss and sorrow and betrayal and hurt I had felt several months earlier.  I let out the feelings of anger, and frustration.  I humbled myself and received back every inch of love and caring I had given to a person who “would not pee on me if I was on fire”; and I bounced back (btw they did not give it to me many others did).  I cried for about twenty four hours!  Yep, I cried  (something I never let myself do in public or private) and it felt good it was the damn being released; it was the balm of my soul; it was the arms of river goddesses telling me to let it go and flow and as it did I would realize it was just to feel this way and at the same time it was just an emotion.  “Emotions are meant to be acknowledged, and to be expressed if you do not do either then they will come out in very strange ways.” That is what I heard, and what I saw, and what makes me smile.  

Big whoop I feel!  Big whoop I am not perfect!  Big whoop life is not always flowing and tossing and turning! Thank goodness it got still and placid for me to see the truth of what was going on inside and outside of me!  I had to strain out my well and get rid of the debris and yuckiness hanging about…I needed to be silly, and just let it all hang out.  I think I am getting amused at all the Dark Goddess offerings I am making lately; but I really am enjoying the wisdom and insight she is showing me…I know later on down the road these lessons will be pivotal.

“Thank you Dark Mother, for pointing out to me gently that I am too hard on me; that I need to take the time to feel and mourn and express my emotions and that does not make me a “drama queen” but absolutely perfectly your co-creation.  Thank you Dark Father for showing me that sometimes you have to sit still and do what ‘appears to be nothing’ so that ‘something powerful and beautiful’ can occur on the surface.”

How do you cope with being sick?  How do you cope with having to take care of so many others that are sick in your household?  How do you flow with the slow periods in your life when it feels you are dragging a tugboat of people and things and projects behind you?   Do you stay so busy all the time that you have trouble reacting to loss, sorrow, and feelings or emotions? When you sit still, and there is no sound, no pictures, only you breathing are you scared and try to direct your thoughts to what you “have to do” or are you open and do you listen to see what you “need to hear” not “what needs to be done by X day”?  These are the words of the Dark Moon, this is one of the mysteries revealed here.

OFFERING TO THE DARK MOTHER OR DARK GOD:

1.  Find out when the dark moon cycle is. It is always BEFORE the new moon and is last period of your moon cycle. Research! Magick works with cycles not against them this is why you learn them and they are pivotal!

2.  Pick a deity to work with that is associated with a Dark moon or is a Crone or Sage deity (I am using THOTH this year, you do realize there are Gods associated with the Dark moon right? ) Research...you can use Persephone as a Dark Maiden one month and Sekhmet another month, and Khonsu another month...but make sure their personalities and attributes resonate with that moon.  Magick is a type of mathematics, the more you have in each column the more it adds up and the more likely you will get great results!

3. Use purple, grey, or black candles (Please take the time to look up what each color means, or think…what do these colors mean to me? For me Purple is dealing with deep psychic issues, grey with my shadow self, and black is for banishing) Research!  Colors have been proven even in psychology to affect your moods this is deep magick when you light those candles you are telling your psyche what it is working on!

4.  Use the appropriate incenses and herbs for your ritual (Hint: Black pepper, Sage, Damiana, possible Pine all will be welcome here).  RESEARCH!  Remember the more additions and bells and whistles you click off the more likely your magick spell will work as intended if you honor the Deity by doing research and presenting the proper herb for the spell "forgiveness" or "working with Hekate" you better believe they will take notice and respond!

4.  For offerings you can just use one night of the dark moon, but for any kind of magickal working utilizing EVERY day of the phase is the most effective.  On Dark moons I like to use all three nights, and I repeat what I did the nights before…and I am open to anything new I experience or receive. REMEMBER!  Magick is worship, it is also an exchange of energy. Magick is also practice.  How do you expect to get good at anything if you are not willing to do anything more than read about it?  You have to practice it, the more you practice the better you get...three nights in a row, now that packs a punch.  Seven nights?  Two weeks, now you are getting the picture the more you concentrate on one spell until you get a result the more focused and more likely you are to get your result!

5.  Realize that the Astrological phase of the Dark moon does have something to do with whatever issue you might want to learn about or work with,or are working through during a month.  Yep there is a Scorpio Crone Mother moon, and a Maiden Aquarius Dark Moon both have strengths both insights are pivotal to your new you emerging. KNOW WHICH one you are working with and plan your spell, God or Goddess, Candles, herbs, stones, etc accordingly.  Do not be the kind of person that thinks the Gods are just lucky you showed up with anything at all, respect the craft do the work and research and it will respect you!

6.  Are you scared of the shadow you see when the sun hits you? Are you scared of the concept of DARK vs LIGHT ?  Are you scared of what is really deep inside you beneath the surface?  “I love my shadow!  Isn’t she/he cool!”  These are things you should say when you notice your real shadow.  Dark Moon work happens whether you call on it or not.  Whether you seek it out or not…so it is best to mark it, acknowledge it and have fun with it. Dark Moon magick is essential to learning, evolving and growing, as a human being and spiritual practitioner it is not about hexes and curses.  Unless you call working on your own issues a "hex or curse".

So you have your candles, deities, salt, water, stones, herbs and you are sitting there in the dark after invoking your God or Goddess…now what?  Tell them the truth!  Tell them what you are going through, what REALLY happened, how you felt about it, how you feel about it now make sure you make the story as funny as possible or as sad as possible this is the time to really let that BIG emotions pour out.  Tell them you do not know what it all means, or how it is going to help you or etc.  Ask for their insights, thank them for showing you the “shadow of yourself”, thank them for everything warts and all…and remind them gently that you would like to learn these things about yourself in a gentle way, in a smooth as possible way.  If you have a piece of jewelry, a card, a physical object, a mantra you want to dedicate to this time this would be the time to do it with earth, air, fire, water.

Lay out an appropriate offering for your deity, take what you just learned and Burn it, Bury it, or Drown it.  It is that easy.

“Dark moon,

burning bright,

for those who have the blessed sight,

Accept my offering

Hear my prayer

Remind me that you are always there

nothing to fear

only to share

the truth. 

May I embrace you

my shadow

May I remember that without you

there is no light

May I seek out and maintain

a state of balance in my life

in myself

and in the world I live in.

Dark moon

shine bright!

Dark Moon

let me see your light!

Dark Moon

come dance with me

and reflect back to me

my light!”

-----------Sonya Miller

 

"Why are you getting schoolin' to figure out who you are? You never see a squirrel askin' why do I gather nuts?"

I have done Magick for as long as I can remember, but I have prayed twice as much as I have ever performed Magick.

Everyone has dreams.  Dreams evolve as you grow.  When you are a little toddler you may dream of joining the circus and riding barebacked ponies, when in kindergarten you may dream to become a movie star; in junior high you may start to dream of being a rock star, in high school you may start to dream of falling in love forever, in college you might dream that you want to become a professor, then after you graduate you may dream of owning your own home, later in life you may dream of traveling overseas…and so the dreams cycle and the merry-go-round turns round and round as you yourself spiral toward a destination.

Dreams are what motivate us to accomplish things; or they can be what devastate us when we “wake up” and realize that for us we do not want to invest the time, the effort, or even pursue what we previously thought was so desirable.  I know I am glad I did not become a bareback pony rider, or meet and get married to the love of my life before high school.  In fact, if any dream I had before the age of thirty had “really become actualized” I would not be writing a blog today; I would not be married to my very handsome wonderful Pagan husband, and I definitely would not have my youngest child Cayden Donovan.  In other words, the years of yearning and longing and plotting, scheming charting and trying different roles and paths on before a certain age was necessary to keep me motivated and walking further down the path but would not be; and have not become the dreams I “woke up” and found myself committed to.

Sometime you stumble upon your dreams…..not looking for them, not planning them out, just listening to the wind in the form of spirit as it whispers in your ear while you are sleeping, as it strokes your hand lightly when you need comfort, as it motivates you to go out and find others who “believe as you do” because something important is going to happen and you are a player in the bigger picture.  A lot of times, when you command dreams they dissipate, but when you are not looking for them they materialize and the next thing you know you have become one with the dream that the God/Goddess had in mind for you before you were ever conceived.  The Gods “choose their own” it has been said during the centuries; and I have to say (that from my perspective) I think they have a wonderful sense of humor.

Did you know that I am a brand new “legal Wiccan/Pagan Clergy”?  Yep, that’s right.  This means that people expect me to know more than I do; and be more perfect than I can possibly be and so I find myself constantly scrambling for information, trying to educate myself better on marriages, relationships, rites of passage, how to listen and communicate better, what impact divorce has on families, the dynamics of small groups, and the list goes on and on.  Like most Wiccan/Pagan Clergy I do not receive an income for what I do; at least in the form of a paycheck with insurance benefits and tangible 401K.  I did not seek out to become a Wiccan Clergy.  It really never ever crossed my mind, not until my husband and some friends of mine mentioned they wanted to start a Legal Wiccan Church.  The various combinations I had been trying out on the “universal locker” clicked; and doors opened and I have never been the same since.

I am a reader, learner, accumulator of knowledge much like the scribes of old.  I love to sit at the feet of teachers and receive their sacraments; I practice what I learn until it becomes second nature or makes my brain explode one of the two.  I have always been driven to the point of near madness in any pursuit much resembling a wild stallion with blinders on.  It is my nature; it is how I am “made”.  When I realized sitting with my comrades and lover that night that the dream of starting a new Wiccan church was something they longed and yearned for; information I had read and acquired over the years came into place.  I invited them over, and shared with them through the stack of materials, print outs, websites, books, and legal documents, how one started a Legal Wiccan church.  I had the information and “the know how”, they had the passion and the dream.  The only thing I did not consider was that to turn that key in the lock of a door would mean that I would become Clergy.

When I realized, after sending out applications to various organizations to make that dream a reality that I would become legal Clergy I panicked.  I did not become excited, I did not “thrill in the power that would now be mine” (you hear people refer to this power all the time and I still scratch my head over it), I cried.  Yep, I cried.  I argued and shook my fist at my Goddess Isis telling her this was not what I had planned for myself.  I told her I did not want more responsibility, or to live my life “under a microscope”.  I reminded her that the “this was not a dream” of mine, but of others.  I thought she ignored me, instead she sent me to other Clergy and Elders in the area (and them to me) that “coddled me, comforted me, instructed me, took me in, and gave me their love, wisdom, and time liberally”.  I have been, and I am still am, fortunate enough to be taught by and surrounded by examples of what “Clergy” is and should be for this Midsouth community and for the world at large.

I am fortunate enough, to sit back and listen to and accumulate the dreams of Elders and founders of other Wiccan churches and sometimes lucky enough to get the opportunity to make them physically materialize.  I have become blessed enough to know very well the originators of many of the dreams that have become solid in this area in the form of “ethics, philosophies, covens, churches, temples”.  I have met in the flesh some of the “fore-runners” who put their lives on the line for my faith, whose families were threatened and yet still survived, who have kept on keeping on and have never let the fire die or the passion for their Gods. These people are one of the main reason I stopped “rebelling” against my Goddess and started “listening to her” more.  If you do not become humbled in the face of “true heroes and heroines” then you are made of materials that are not what I want to partake of.  Once you stop “rebelling and resisting” you start to relax and accept whatever it is you are meant to be.

I pray that I never ever have to put myself or my family in any physical danger to practice my religion; but it could happen.  I pray that no one I know that is Pagan or Wiccan ever has to lose their child in a custody battle because our religion is not “recognized or acknowledged as equal to” other religions in the United States. I pray that there becomes occult stores open in every town, so that people who practice our path can easily gather and buy supplies without worries and persecution. I pray that our path becomes less “Disney witchy” or “Hollywoodized” and more solid and walked which would make it more of a religion than a spiritual path.  Because I believe that our path walked will naturally transform this planet….how could it not?  It transformed me, and thousands before me.

I pray that I learn to accept and become comfortable with the “role” that has been given to me as a precious gift and that I “share the sacraments of the Gods and Goddesses” freely and naturally with others. I pray every day, that I learn to serve better the needs of others and that I listen more and struggle less.  I pray for all that I know that are ill, for those who I love dearly that are going through transitions, I pray for a new budding community that is shooting up faster than I can keep up with.  I pray, not because I am holy, but because I know I have “no idea” clearly on what to do most of the time.  I pray because I have faith, that my Goddess Isis chose me for a reason I cannot comprehend and that when I do not know what to do (which is almost every day) that she will step in and show me what to do; or point me to the knowledge I need so that I can help someone get a leg up.  I pray because prayer is what has gotten me through the deserts in my life.  I have faith that is so strong that I am reminded that I am as “stubborn as a mule” but that this is the faith that can “move mountains”.

Last night, a best girlfriend of mine called me and I found myself crying not only on the inside for her but on the outside.  She is not only going through a tough time, but she is being pushed by her Gods to try on a “new role” and I know that it will be so much better for her than what she even comprehends (because I have been there many times myself). I cried because I also know that it will be so much harder for her than what she previously knew.  I wish I could have held her in my arms, pulled her up in my lap, laid her head on my shoulder and patted her on the back and told her…”it is all going to be okay”.  I told her this verbally, but a voice is a poor substitution for physical touch.  I can only do so much for her over the phone, listen, tell her what she needs to know and hear, send her letters, cards of encouragement, check on her constantly, pray for her incessantly…but maybe that is all Isis wants me to do.  It is all my limited human brain can think of; but I know if I pray and listen Isis will share with me the “perfect thing” for my friend.

Sometimes you wake up from a dream to realize you are living a dream that is bigger than you and more than you could ever conceive of ; in that moment give thanks because if you find yourself in that situation realize that the divine wants better for you than you could ever want for yourself.  No human is perfect, life ain’t easy, and dreams can’t be commanded, but if you pray and ask…you will receive guidance.  I am so happy to know that underneath the thick batter of religion one thing we all share is the Power of Prayer. 

Thank you for the gift of your time, and I pray that you will never forget how power-full Prayer can be!

It ain't nothing new, but it is to you because you are thicker than a mule when it comes to learnin'

We are going to shift gears, since the turning of the wheel is in flux and now talk about the next Wiccan Holy day/Sabbat that many of us will celebrate Lughnasa.  While I have been told my many of my readers, that they read my blogs for different reasons I think we can all agree that when it comes to “Sabbats” no matter what your path, many of us celebrate them or adapt them for our own use.  If you did not know, my path is Egyptian and so it would seem that with a Celtic oriented wheel of the year I would be left out.  However, like anything on this path I have been forced (it’s a figure of speech) by the Universe to observe and celebrate Sabbats in a way I would not necessarily do in my personal practice for the greater good of others and in the service of the God's and Goddesses' Temple.  We all know there is a lesson here, but that is not the what I want to talk about today…today I want us to re-discuss and re-examine ONE god…Lugh.

Years ago, when I first discovered this path I started off primarily a nature observer and working with primal nature forces. The people I knew (including my Mamaw) that used “nature magic” or “dirt magic” did not pray to a particular deity just “mother” or “goddess” or “god”.  So it came as a wonderful “extra surprise” to me when I figured out that there were thousands of deities out in the world that had been worshipped; many had been forgotten and many were living and breathing and walking around. I loved the act of “discovering” and “getting to know” these new spirits, and I still do!  The biggest problem I found I had to overcome once I was older was transferring and translating the “ancient portrayal of a God or Goddess” to “modern times”.  As a teacher, I find that establishing an intimate relationship with deity is often thwarted by this same “issue” that I had to learn as I grew up.

So I am going to tell you a story, you may have heard it, but I am hoping to flesh it out for you in a new way.  This is the story of Lugh.  Lugh, was a “wright” and this means in a modern terms a man who created, built, and repaired things.  He could have been a playwright or a carpenter, an electrician, or a roofer, a captain of a barge, a maker of jewelery or a mechanic but one thing he definitely was…was a worker and I am sure he tackled all of these previous jobs at one time or another in his life.  Lugh is the God of work and the Master of all arts and crafts; and like many of us living in the 21^st century it seems that he sought out jobs he was interested in and  mastered them. Once he "leveled up and out" in that job, he got bored and then applied for another job and started a "new career" thus his life would be full of various careers ever shifting and growing like most of us now.  Today, we live in the modern technological age; and there is Lugh who seems as if he stepped right out of the agrarian age and wants access to a new world that has left him behind…..or has it?

There was a HUGE house party being thrown in Memphis,Tennessee that all the cool Pagan people were invited to come and participate in thrown ironically enough, on Lughanasa.  However, for some reason it seems that the Host and Hostess of this big shindig forgot to invite the God Lugh.  It was a serious oversight, but an understandable one since not many of us really believe that Gods walk and talk amongst us anymore like the “old ones” did.  And so it was that Lugh decided to make the Host and Hostess and the community aware of this oversight gently.  He decided to come to Memphis, Tennessee that weekend and participate and throw down at the HUGE Pagan party.  Lugh came up and knocked on the door of this “happening place”.  He was greeted at the door, by one of the local Pagans and told that “he was not cool enough” or “what they were looking for” in the area so he best be going since they did not know him.  However, Lugh being deity and not a typical human decided to argue the point; whereas most humans would slink off and be “shunned” by their peers.

“ So what is it that makes one cool enough in this Pagan community to come and be part of your group?”  Lugh asks.  “Well you have to have a perfect lineage that we can track; and you have to be wear the right clothes, and have the same kind of hair as all of us, and you have to do things “our way” though we do not share that way with outsiders; and well you better be able to prove you have some ‘mean skills in the magick department and brag about them constantly’ for you to be one of us.”  Lugh was told by the doorman.  Lugh laughs, “I see” he says while scratching his beard.  “Well, I am a blue-collar man primarily who comes from no place you have heard of, who possesses the skills of just work.”  Lugh says.  The Pagan at the door looks at him and says….”what kind of skills, and where did you get them from?”  Lugh says, “I posses the skill of going into any situation and sizing it up, and seeing what needs to be done and doing it without instructions.  I work for others well and enjoy working for and in groups. I get my skills from the Universe, this physical plane, and myself.”  The Pagan looks interested but says…”Well we have plenty of Clergy already in this community, Highpriest’s and Highpriestesses galore, Elders aplenty, and I do not know you so (even though you look older than me)  none of those skills count.” 

“I possess the gift of story telling in a way that makes people learn and hear the words of the Gods they could not hear or comprehend before, and people love to learn through stories you know. I came by this skill through listening to spirit and by plugging into the Universal station of thought.”  Lugh says to the Pagan door man. “Well, we have plenty of people in our community that have been published, and like I said I do not know you at all so you aren’t really convincing me here.”  The Pagan says arms crossed across his chest.  Lugh smiles and winks and then says “Well, I posses the gift or ritual and magick, I can raise energy and cast it in ways you have never seen…I am willing to share these skills with your group because I love to share.  I learned these skills through years of hard work, practice, discipline, and dedication but none of your people in that room have taught me.”  “We have plenty of people that can do magick here; surely you know that we are all Pagan” the young Pagan says with a sneer.  “I posses the skills of song and dance, I can sing you to tears or to joy, I can show you how rhythms underlie everything and how when faced with challenges how to dance through them all.  I share this skill with some of my brothers and cousins, it's sort of a lineage thing, ”  Lugh adds.  The Pagan getting irritated says…”I have no idea why those skills would add to a community and I would like to get back to my group would you please hurry up.” 

So Lugh, being a God and clever, looks the man straight in the eye and says…”Do you have a person who is master of all theses skills amongst you?”  The Pagan hesitates and starts to take time to think…and realizes they do not.  “No sir, we do not…and this means?”  Lugh takes his hand, and extends his index finger and thumps the young man on the third eye….”this means, you need to include me in your gathering Young Pagan for this is my day; and I am the God that should be honored above all others in your crib.”  The Pagan looks at the middle aged man before him, in dirty jeans and a “not traditional hippy pagan clothing” and says…”Okay, but if the others don’t agree with your claim out you go.”  Lugh smiles, and saunters in and the party becoming instrumental in changing the landscape of that community completely and moving it into a more positive progressive direction.  For Lugh is, after all, a God and the master of work and all trades and he is determined to prove to us all…that he is not antiquated just not recognized that often.

Now I know, this is not my typical Southern Fried fare; and I hope you find yourself smiling at this tale because Southerners do love a good story.  Most importantly though, I want you this Lughnasa to celebrate and look for this “god” in the men and women around you.  He dwells in the workers; he is clever, funny, and smart.  He is always striving, growing, reaching, and mastering a new thing.  May we all grow to be more like Lugh, and may he come to all of our community gatherings this Lughnasa.  Lastly, but most importantly.....

Thank you, as always, for the gift of your time!

I'm finer than a frog's hair split four ways

Yesterday, I was saved by a Christian.  Well, not “converted saved” as people of this Common Era tend to think of that phrase meaning, but I was saved nevertheless.  Please, let me explain.  Not ALL Pagans dislike Christians and not all Christians dislike Pagans; in fact I have a long history with Christian friends and Christian ministers who the “spirit has spoken through” to me and I heard it as clearly as if Isis (my personal deity) were speaking to me.  It takes time, to get to a point where you can hear spirit anywhere where you can let it love you or touch you even if you are in the middle of a Rabbi speaking but it can be done and I have gladly come to know and associate myself with Spiritual friends who do just that…hear and see spirit everywhere.

Yesterday morning, I was almost at the end of my rope and the knot I had tied in it was unraveling.  I was frustrated, angry and fed up.  I am used to the concept that “not all people are going to like me” and if people don’t like me that I do not know it "rolls right off my back".  But, there was a person who I had considered a loyal friend who was going so far out of her way to “hurt me” that it froze me up; I was puzzled as to what was proper protocol…and since her “dislike for me” was also trying to affect people's perception of my church (I felt); I had to find a way to resolve it.  Resolution, even with wisest people I know trying to mediate has not been possible and yesterday I had to realize…it would not be.  I was given the advice to get “legal council” on this issue, and so with great trepidation and hesitation I picked up the phone and called a long time friend who also was a great lawyer.

First, he answered the phone with warmth and happiness in his voice; the sheer pleasure in which he conveyed the joy of talking to me and with me balmed my soul.  I realized I did not see him enough, and I missed his smile.  We small talked, and shared things…and then I came out with my issue.  He listened, and then laughed.  Not because my problem, was silly and petty but because he had a different perspective on it all..and why is that?  Because he knew me, and had watched me at many stages of my life; he did not treat me like a client he was Clergy for me that day. “Did you really think that if you travel through life getting things done there are not going to be people that are like that?  I am a lawyer, if you are one of us you better get used to the idea that most people just do not like you because of your job description”…he laughed.  I realized he was right.  “Heck, add to that I am a Liberal Christian with Conservative political views and you have a great mix for people to dislike me…” once again he laughed “BUT, I know that to change who I am, and stop doing what I am good at, won’t make a difference, it achieves nothing.  It doesn’t even make the people who don’t like me any happier.” he states.  

For the next thirty minutes Gregg outlined for me methods for dealing with life and “haters” as he put it in an effective way that did not include the method I was thinking was my only avenue.  He explained to me that he recommended I try these methods first, but his reasoning behind it choked me up.  “Sonya, I am sure there are many people in your spiritual community that are going through some of the same stuff you are going through; and they are looking to you to see how to deal with it.  You do not only teach people through classes and counseling, or by trying to live your life ethically.  You teach people how to survive and manage and deal with difficult stuff by getting through it yourself.”  “But, Gregg, I don’t know how to do this yet (I whined) but I will take your advice and try” I said.  “Then pray, ask for wisdom, ask for guidance, people are called to be clergy…it’s not easy but remember what got you there in the first place…your faith.” he reminded me and  I smiled and almost cried at the same time. 

I knew that my friend was right, that from first grade to graduating high school I had always had “haters” as he called them and when I had tried to step back and not achieve as much it had not made me more popular.  I knew that when I went to college I had people accuse me of plagiarism and start all kinds of rumors about me and that I had to stick really close to professors and counselors to navigate through that rough phase of my life…but it did not stop me from writing and still winning money to go to college (though it almost did).  When I went to the workplace, I would have people that “did not like me”, when I went to Beauty school years later the same, when I did runway models hair other stylists would “criticize or tear down my work”.  So what?  I went on.  My ex-husbands I am particularly sure “do not like me” that is why we got divorced in the first place (though it should be stated I highly encourage people to get two divorces like I did before the age of 23). You see I was saying "I don't know how to do this!" (getting upset and angry at my Gods) and they were saying, "Girl, look at your life! Look at all that mess you have navigated through, you KNOW how to do this, just do it."

I am not young, and I am not old, I am in the valley of life looking at the mountains ahead of me and taking pride in the fact I have already scaled the mountains behind me and survived them.   

“Be the example to the Clergy with you and the people coming up of how to deal with things like this.  You are in the firing line; the Gods put you there because you can take it (though you do not think you can).  Learn, grow, and fly, make it easier for others. But, if you do not want to take that hard route I can very quickly and easily walk you through how to fill out the paperwork to do a ‘slander and harassment of character lawsuit’ and let you ‘sue that person for damages’ it would only take about a day and cost you nothing since you can prove they have ill intent and are “damaging your character” the judge would favor in your side and I will be there for you.”  Gregg quickly spouted out falling out of the spirit mode and back into Gregg the bad-ass lawyer man I had known for about ten or more years. 

“I will pray for wisdom and guidance.  I might fall down, but it will not be because I am failing it is because I am learning how to ride this bike.  I will do this first and learn how to manage it because you are right it is a good learning lesson for me and for others.  I will trust that the Gods chose me for a reason and though I do not understand why; I am in the firing line…that I can take it. But Gregg, if all of this does not work I can still come back and file right?”  He laughs, and I know the answer is yes.  “There you go, I knew the woman I knew would not give up or let this get her down you just needed an outsider not in the situation to see it for what it is and who knows how you are to guide you to your next step.”  He said.  We chitchatted some more, got caught up then we hung up.

“Isis and Thoth I have no idea why I could not hear you speaking to me and giving me advice, but I heard you through Gregg, I apologize…and Jesus you know that guy Gregg that a lot of people are “hating on” because he is a lawyer and a liberal Christian with Conservative political values who supports his friend the Pagan Priestess? Yeah, that guy! That man is a good man, Jesus, I want to thank you for loving him and putting him in my life.  I am sorry if sometimes I forget that you too, are the same spirit and that you love me also.”  I say.

Last night, as is my practice, I lit candles and thanked my deities.  I also sent up a prayer for Gregg because he asked me too, and because he believes that “no matter who the prayer comes from and goes too it is all the same and he can use all the prayer he can get.”  Me too!  Yesterday, a Christian saved me from losing my faith he buoyed my spirit when I needed it, he instructed me and taught me methods on how to deal with my conflict issue,  he reminded me how important I was to the Gods and that I was doing good work, and he did it all with compassion and laughter.  I know he is always there for me….in short Gregg reminded me on what I am aiming to become as Clergy, of what I am aiming for as a Spirit-filled human being.  It is friends like Gregg that make the world a better place.

So just for today, remind yourself it “ain’t all bad”, “focus on what you are doing that is good” and never ever give up because you are always going to have a few “haters” you SPIRIT FILLED being you.

Thank you for the gift or your time!