"Why are you getting schoolin' to figure out who you are? You never see a squirrel askin' why do I gather nuts?"

I have done Magick for as long as I can remember, but I have prayed twice as much as I have ever performed Magick.

Everyone has dreams.  Dreams evolve as you grow.  When you are a little toddler you may dream of joining the circus and riding barebacked ponies, when in kindergarten you may dream to become a movie star; in junior high you may start to dream of being a rock star, in high school you may start to dream of falling in love forever, in college you might dream that you want to become a professor, then after you graduate you may dream of owning your own home, later in life you may dream of traveling overseas…and so the dreams cycle and the merry-go-round turns round and round as you yourself spiral toward a destination.

Dreams are what motivate us to accomplish things; or they can be what devastate us when we “wake up” and realize that for us we do not want to invest the time, the effort, or even pursue what we previously thought was so desirable.  I know I am glad I did not become a bareback pony rider, or meet and get married to the love of my life before high school.  In fact, if any dream I had before the age of thirty had “really become actualized” I would not be writing a blog today; I would not be married to my very handsome wonderful Pagan husband, and I definitely would not have my youngest child Cayden Donovan.  In other words, the years of yearning and longing and plotting, scheming charting and trying different roles and paths on before a certain age was necessary to keep me motivated and walking further down the path but would not be; and have not become the dreams I “woke up” and found myself committed to.

Sometime you stumble upon your dreams…..not looking for them, not planning them out, just listening to the wind in the form of spirit as it whispers in your ear while you are sleeping, as it strokes your hand lightly when you need comfort, as it motivates you to go out and find others who “believe as you do” because something important is going to happen and you are a player in the bigger picture.  A lot of times, when you command dreams they dissipate, but when you are not looking for them they materialize and the next thing you know you have become one with the dream that the God/Goddess had in mind for you before you were ever conceived.  The Gods “choose their own” it has been said during the centuries; and I have to say (that from my perspective) I think they have a wonderful sense of humor.

Did you know that I am a brand new “legal Wiccan/Pagan Clergy”?  Yep, that’s right.  This means that people expect me to know more than I do; and be more perfect than I can possibly be and so I find myself constantly scrambling for information, trying to educate myself better on marriages, relationships, rites of passage, how to listen and communicate better, what impact divorce has on families, the dynamics of small groups, and the list goes on and on.  Like most Wiccan/Pagan Clergy I do not receive an income for what I do; at least in the form of a paycheck with insurance benefits and tangible 401K.  I did not seek out to become a Wiccan Clergy.  It really never ever crossed my mind, not until my husband and some friends of mine mentioned they wanted to start a Legal Wiccan Church.  The various combinations I had been trying out on the “universal locker” clicked; and doors opened and I have never been the same since.

I am a reader, learner, accumulator of knowledge much like the scribes of old.  I love to sit at the feet of teachers and receive their sacraments; I practice what I learn until it becomes second nature or makes my brain explode one of the two.  I have always been driven to the point of near madness in any pursuit much resembling a wild stallion with blinders on.  It is my nature; it is how I am “made”.  When I realized sitting with my comrades and lover that night that the dream of starting a new Wiccan church was something they longed and yearned for; information I had read and acquired over the years came into place.  I invited them over, and shared with them through the stack of materials, print outs, websites, books, and legal documents, how one started a Legal Wiccan church.  I had the information and “the know how”, they had the passion and the dream.  The only thing I did not consider was that to turn that key in the lock of a door would mean that I would become Clergy.

When I realized, after sending out applications to various organizations to make that dream a reality that I would become legal Clergy I panicked.  I did not become excited, I did not “thrill in the power that would now be mine” (you hear people refer to this power all the time and I still scratch my head over it), I cried.  Yep, I cried.  I argued and shook my fist at my Goddess Isis telling her this was not what I had planned for myself.  I told her I did not want more responsibility, or to live my life “under a microscope”.  I reminded her that the “this was not a dream” of mine, but of others.  I thought she ignored me, instead she sent me to other Clergy and Elders in the area (and them to me) that “coddled me, comforted me, instructed me, took me in, and gave me their love, wisdom, and time liberally”.  I have been, and I am still am, fortunate enough to be taught by and surrounded by examples of what “Clergy” is and should be for this Midsouth community and for the world at large.

I am fortunate enough, to sit back and listen to and accumulate the dreams of Elders and founders of other Wiccan churches and sometimes lucky enough to get the opportunity to make them physically materialize.  I have become blessed enough to know very well the originators of many of the dreams that have become solid in this area in the form of “ethics, philosophies, covens, churches, temples”.  I have met in the flesh some of the “fore-runners” who put their lives on the line for my faith, whose families were threatened and yet still survived, who have kept on keeping on and have never let the fire die or the passion for their Gods. These people are one of the main reason I stopped “rebelling” against my Goddess and started “listening to her” more.  If you do not become humbled in the face of “true heroes and heroines” then you are made of materials that are not what I want to partake of.  Once you stop “rebelling and resisting” you start to relax and accept whatever it is you are meant to be.

I pray that I never ever have to put myself or my family in any physical danger to practice my religion; but it could happen.  I pray that no one I know that is Pagan or Wiccan ever has to lose their child in a custody battle because our religion is not “recognized or acknowledged as equal to” other religions in the United States. I pray that there becomes occult stores open in every town, so that people who practice our path can easily gather and buy supplies without worries and persecution. I pray that our path becomes less “Disney witchy” or “Hollywoodized” and more solid and walked which would make it more of a religion than a spiritual path.  Because I believe that our path walked will naturally transform this planet….how could it not?  It transformed me, and thousands before me.

I pray that I learn to accept and become comfortable with the “role” that has been given to me as a precious gift and that I “share the sacraments of the Gods and Goddesses” freely and naturally with others. I pray every day, that I learn to serve better the needs of others and that I listen more and struggle less.  I pray for all that I know that are ill, for those who I love dearly that are going through transitions, I pray for a new budding community that is shooting up faster than I can keep up with.  I pray, not because I am holy, but because I know I have “no idea” clearly on what to do most of the time.  I pray because I have faith, that my Goddess Isis chose me for a reason I cannot comprehend and that when I do not know what to do (which is almost every day) that she will step in and show me what to do; or point me to the knowledge I need so that I can help someone get a leg up.  I pray because prayer is what has gotten me through the deserts in my life.  I have faith that is so strong that I am reminded that I am as “stubborn as a mule” but that this is the faith that can “move mountains”.

Last night, a best girlfriend of mine called me and I found myself crying not only on the inside for her but on the outside.  She is not only going through a tough time, but she is being pushed by her Gods to try on a “new role” and I know that it will be so much better for her than what she even comprehends (because I have been there many times myself). I cried because I also know that it will be so much harder for her than what she previously knew.  I wish I could have held her in my arms, pulled her up in my lap, laid her head on my shoulder and patted her on the back and told her…”it is all going to be okay”.  I told her this verbally, but a voice is a poor substitution for physical touch.  I can only do so much for her over the phone, listen, tell her what she needs to know and hear, send her letters, cards of encouragement, check on her constantly, pray for her incessantly…but maybe that is all Isis wants me to do.  It is all my limited human brain can think of; but I know if I pray and listen Isis will share with me the “perfect thing” for my friend.

Sometimes you wake up from a dream to realize you are living a dream that is bigger than you and more than you could ever conceive of ; in that moment give thanks because if you find yourself in that situation realize that the divine wants better for you than you could ever want for yourself.  No human is perfect, life ain’t easy, and dreams can’t be commanded, but if you pray and ask…you will receive guidance.  I am so happy to know that underneath the thick batter of religion one thing we all share is the Power of Prayer. 

Thank you for the gift of your time, and I pray that you will never forget how power-full Prayer can be!

You are dressed slicker than a greased hog on fourth of july!

Here where I dwell in Memphis, Tennessee there will be a few things consistently done to celebrate Fourth of July.  There will cookouts, which can be family or friend gatherings; setting off of fireworks and some will be going to Pickwick or Sardis to hang out at the lake, and water ski or fish.  What any of these things have to do with the fourth of July I have never figured out.  But surely enough half of your elderly relatives will wear shirts or pins that have the American flag on them like getting together over a picnic buffet is really celebrating the Declaration of Independence.  Now, don’t get me wrong I shore do love me some potato salad, Pork Barbecue, slaw with mayonnaise, deviled eggs, homemade ice cream, blackberry cobblers, chocolate meringue pie, and fried whatever you can fry (but typically chicken) along with the best of them.  But none of this reminds our children of what the fourth of July is really about.

I am told by the old timers, that there used to be huge parades downtown on Beale Street in Memphis where there were floats, and the veterans came out and waved flags, where school bands used to play, and children ran around with sparklers…but those days are behind us in the south.  You will find smaller versions of these in “neighborhood associations” or “counties” where many will drive to observe but not participate in the small parade of a county that they cannot afford to live in; or would never choose to live in for personal reasons.  But what, if anything, does this have to do with the Declaration of Independence?

You do all realize that the fourth of July is not the day we “won the war” or “got our independence” but is the day “some of the founders of our country” declared war?  So why do we celebrate it?  I think it is because, deep within each of us we are proud that we as a nation stood up for our rights, yes we were greatly outnumbered, and really not trained to fight.  But, after awhile we got tired of being doormats and being told what to do by someone that did not seem to have our interests at heart (England and the monarchy) and we said…”NO MORE”!  When the common people, the farmers were picking up pitchforks and saying "no more", the aristocrats finally had justification to say “no more” and so they eloquently transcribed and alliterated for the rest of us what they imagined we were feeling since the majority of Americans at the time could not read or write.

“When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”  The Declaration of Independence.

I thought I might remind some of us what this weekend is really about.  Reading this document I realize that our own government, and political leaders need to read it and re-read it, and we as citizens should be reminded that deep in our bones, seeped in our marrow is a DNA that says…”We have rights, and if you violate these we will dissent”.

Did you know that in the year 2007, the Federal Government and military finally legally recognized our spiritual path as an equal and valid religion?  That they finally allowed us (Wiccans, Pagans, Witch's, etc) to have our military buried with our various symbols?  That was four years ago, and now we find we are entangled fighting for the rights of people in prison to be able to worship just as the other faiths.  On Jon Stuart not too long ago, David Barton a history revisionist openly stated that “other strange minority faiths like Wicca” should not be protected under the first amendment.  He feels that only the Judea-Christian faiths are what the founders had in mind.  What?  What do you mean?  Yeah, he said that…and of course Jon Stuart made him sound foolish, and yet he has not invited any of our political speakers like Starhawk, or Jason Pitzl-Waters, or even Selena Fox on his show to show the minority view.

Would you like to do something small to help independence today?  Would you like to really declare yourself independent today from the government that is now “doing to us almost all the things that the Monarchy of England was doing to the original Americans?”  Try this, start small.  Copy and paste this link and ask John Stuart to let us be represented…http://www.facebook.com/pages/100000-to-get-Jason-Pitzl-Waters-on-the-Daily-Show/129104200500171 (I hate the concept of people making laws for us when we aren’t even represented don’t you?)  

Or support Patrick McCollun, there are many sights that are collecting for his legal fund join one and donate!  Did you know that he went to court and was met with this…”In January 2010, an amicus brief was filed by a group called the Wallbuilders, which asked the court to say that McCollum's suit has no merit at all, because the First Amendment applies only to monotheistic religions like Christianity, so a suit filed by Pagans should have no standing.” The courts listened to the Wallbuilders.  He has appealed, and now we have to wait and see what, if anything, will occur.  If you are Pagan you should be scared, and worried if this trend continues no matter what is on the books; we are being told by our own government that because we are not Christian…we do not matter.  If you are of any other minority faith, you too should be worried and scared because this can happen to you also!

Practice your faith, take the steps more than lighting incense or praying to deity…ACT on it, please walk your talk!  If we do not act, very quickly those little rights we acquired in 2007 will be swiftly taken away.

Eat fried chicken, enjoy a beer, ride water skis on the lake (not while drinking of course) get a tan, drink martinis, hug your Mamaw, shoot fireworks and hope the children don't burn down your house…but remember to assert your independence, and celebrate the spirit of America.  Make your forefathers proud!

Thank you for the gift of your time,

Rev. Sonya Miller

I'm going to learn you a lesson....

There is a major hurdle that Witches, Wiccans, Pagans, have to “jump” unlike other faiths at some point in their existence; that of sharing what they believe with friends and family.  I would venture to say that sharing it with your friends or acquaintances is so much easier than with your family…but I am not walking in your “moccasins “ so how can I say?  I can however, tell you how it was and is for me; and that is the real meat of a blog…the person writing it is sharing their life with people they know, people they do not know, people they will see face to face, and people they will never meet face to face.  It is the beauty of the Internet.

A lot of Pagans will never “come out of the broom closet” completely for fear of losing their job, for fear of their family knowing, sometimes even the partners they share their lives with do not know (I recently just saw a you tube video where a woman claimed her partner did not know this about her and they had been together over ten years; wonder what will happen when they see the you tube video?) However, when you decide to found an open to the public, legal Wiccan Church you have to know that people are going to find out what you believe; and if you are Clergy it is inevitable. 

You might ask yourself, if you are not of our faith…why is this such a big deal?  Well, even for people who become Clergy I have seen them stumped over how to explain this to their family, or co-workers.  They seem to want to “ease” people into it, or hint at it (yes they wear pagan jewelry but nothing too obvious) or they express openly their “liberal viewpoints” but no matter how old you are, or who you are; “coming out” is an issue we all have to decided upon at one time or another.

My parents are Southern Baptist.  My brothers are Christians of different denominations; at some point all of them figured out I believed differently than them and that I was a Pagan but for some reason they thought it was a “phase” or “something I would outgrow”.  My beliefs were treated like they did not exist, never talked about or discussed…once a year I was told I was being prayed for or that they worried for my soul.  So, when it came to opening the church; I consciously decided not to tell them.  Yes, I told myself I was “protecting” my family and myself from the debris that would fly from this…but the reality is I did not want to have to “explain or defend” myself; and I realized that the full implications of me opening this church could mean that they would “banish” me from the family, and write me out of the will.  So, I did not say a word it was my secret.  When you keep secrets people tend to think there is something about you that is worse than it really is…..

Eventually, due to other people sharing it with my parents and my very “vocal” blog and social networking skills( ha ha) my parents did find out.  Yes, they were upset…they cried, they yelled, they ranted, they raved, and now it is still not discussed.  I know my parents and brothers will not come to my home because this is where the “pagans” gather and I have an altar in my backyard.  I know they would die if all of their relatives knew the truth about me, and yet I still chose this path anyway.  Depending on what type of person you are…you might be asking, WHAT if anything was I thinking?  Why would I choose a spiritual path that would cause discord in my family, and possibly threaten my livelihood and life here in the south?

I was thinking, I had to do it…I felt called, I was following my bliss…and when I looked up, twenty years had flown by.  Yeah, twenty years (the age of my oldest child) and when you have spent at least that many years diligently practicing and walking a path you are not going to all of the sudden abandon it…you are going to stay true to it.  I was thinking that maybe if “I came out” that it would make it easier for others to do the same.  I was thinking that if I stopped having secrets that my whole life could sing a beautiful song that was about TRUTH, because I am doing nothing wrong…and I do not have to defend my spiritual beliefs.

This weekend when I was with my parents and brothers and sister in laws and cousins at my family reunion I heard them all openly intermingle and sprinkle their “Christian” beliefs with their sentences and conversations all the time.  I found myself envious that they are allowed to do this, and that if I did the same in their presence it would be as if the world stopped and a record was scratched. 

A few weeks ago there was a “Mothers of Faith” blog contest on a popular site called Circle of Moms out of the top 15 sites chosen more than half were Pagan, and the number one site chosen was Pagan…my old blog (the Teflon Cauldron) snagged eleven!  Did you know I had no one in my family I could call and share my giddiness with?  Yes, I was excited in less than one year, a blog I had helped create and wrote on placed 11 in the nation for faith blogs…and I was openly PAGAN!  Some of the Christian mom bloggers who lost or placed second or below got angry and let everyone know how the “witches and wiccans and pagans” obviously rigged the thing, or spelled it so they could win…they never took the time to think about how much gumption it took for those Pagan mothers to post that blog in the first place; or one step further…to enter that contest.

Being Pagan in the South and in America, takes guts…not rebellion, but if you walk that path and it is your religion (which is what a religion is walking your ethics) it takes courage.  You better be a warrior, because people seem to think we have “no feelings, no rights, and are not human”.  I am raising my children to know that whatever it is they believe, it is “okay” and I am encouraging them to share it with me and my husband…in my home we are breaking the cycle of secrecy, lying, deceit, and shame.  There will be no “fear” to keep them in line used, no hovering of “I will write you out of the will or keep your siblings away from you”. 

I encourage you, if you are Pagan to pat yourself on the back today.  You are brave; in a world that says it encourages diversity…you have really chosen a separate path.  If you are “open and out” Pagan then I applaud you, and you should right now applaud yourself…there at the office, in your car, in the mirror, wherever  you are APPLAUD yourself!   For in the words of Lucius Seneca “Sometimes even to LIVE is an act of courage”

Thank you for the gift of your time…………