They are as happy as if they had good sense.

Yule passed.  The log was burned, gifts were exchanged and the new year of the Roman calendar slid in like a barge on the Mississippi river.  This past year has just been a blur.  I know many of you feel the same it seems as if I could hardly hold on to the Momentum pushing me.  I am here...I used to be there.

Brian (my hubby and highpriest) have experienced such large changes that I am surprised at times to still see him standing next to me smiling, and nodding.  I don't tell too many people this but I really most of the time cannot figure out why that man asked me to marry him in the first place. Goddess knows I tried my best to scared him off, and if I did not buck like I had a burr under my saddle for the first three years my name is not Sonya.  It seemed as if deep inside I really did not think I deserved a life partner, that if someone really saw the pace I ran my life on and dealt with all of my issues he/she would run to the hills screaming.  There had to be a reason why my parents weren't very nice or affectionate to me; and no man had really stuck around that long.  I was blighted, I was cursed, I was really just awful my shadow self said..and I accepted it; because there was nothing solid and hard to tell me any different here in the physical to prove otherwise.  Though it should be stated I had faith and hope I was wrong.

Heavens knows why immediately after we got married we decided to co-found a Wiccan/Pagan church together when we should have been honeymooning it up but Brian and I did just that.  Then, not very long into that venture we got pregnant and brought a new son into our newly found love and life that we were trying to construct.  When I was pregnant he was the perfect husband not just there but always loving me and making me feel super sexy (how he did that I will never know but he managed it).  When I stress over the bills of the Church getting paid, or the next years syllabus, or a ritual, or a member of the church that is having a difficult time...he is there.  He hugs me, and listens and guides me to my higher self.  Pointing out what I do right; never ever whipping me with what I do wrong because he knows that I am the harshest critic of myself..and that my parents did a superb job feeding my inner self with all kinds of criticisms that looped in my head constantly.

He has not circled what I needed to work on one time...NO not once.  Through his tireless quiet demeanor and love and admiration of me I have grown to become a gardener who eliminates those weeds of harshness and criticism of myself.  Once I was able to do that, I was able to be less harsh and critical of others...funny how it works that way huh?

 When people in the community outside were critical and harsh to me because I was a transplanted southerner he just held me closer and walked with me tighter never letting me think about "quitting or giving up" because he believed in me as a person, and in me as a highpriestess and the clergy I could become.  This is why I still look at him in amazement thinking, well damn he really does love me and always will walk by me. 

Brian and I struggled with "pre-conceived" gender roles in parenting, marriage, jobs, and as clergy.  I am more projective and pushy, Brian is really more receptive and nurturing.  I am more of a giver and giving to the point of hurting (sacrifice is part of my makeup) but Brian is more of a receiver thinker when it comes to giving he has taught me to choose more wisely and I have taught him how to give without thinking!  It is not over our partnership, or our marriage but now that we both realize we really are here to stay and have worked through some of the biggest hurdles we think most people get tripped up on; we both feel happier than a cat who ate the canary....and I find it has changed me!  Being Happier makes your jaws sore :))))))))

I posted these pictures today on my blog to remind us that the Goddess many of us worship is DARK and LIGHT.  Right now it seems so popular to say I am a DARK Pagan and not into Wicca that is too "light" for me.  OR I am a being of light I cannot stand "death, dark, and dead things" but we forget that our Goddess holds a sycthe in her hand, and is the face of death and life.  That the moon is DARK and LIGHT that its cycles go toward full and then toward void.  My Goddess is ISIS and yet she is the Wife and Co-ruler with Osiris the God of the Underworld (you think that's dark enough)? If not maybe the God Anubis (the Dark Lord, the Bone father, The Guardian of the Gates of Death, Psychopomp) seems a bit more your speed? I dedicated myself to him last year for a year and a day with my third degrees and he has taught me so much my head has not stopped spinning.

These Gods and my Goddess would not let me fly like a bird until I acknowledged, realized, and purged out of myself the deepest darkest fears and lies I had been telling to myself for years.  They did it by sending me a person (and it should be noted many other friends) to love me.  Until I could accept that FULL love that came to me where I was and elevated me to where I am I could not become better, or happier, or smile in the mirror truly SMILE at myself.

I am not a Practioner of only DARK magic.  I am not a practioner of only WHITE magic.  I worship the Dark and Light, the Sun and the Moon, I dance with life and with death.  I AM BALANCED and when I am not...one of the many Gods and Goddesses I worship will let me know how to fix it and address it; but it will not be Brian he will always look at me with pride in his eyes and a smile on his face. 

 This Blog post is dedicated to the person who has taught me more about life, love, magick, manhood, parenting, marriage, friendship, compassion, laughter, acceptance and the list goes on and on.  He is my Dark Lord and my Sun God; and I am as happy as a person with good sense!


 

"They ate supper before they said Grace!"

I am writing this article to respond to the emails readers are sending me.  Yes,  I now have regular Blog readers and people that claim me to "like me" on Facebook or Twitter!  Yeeee haaaa! (giggles)  It seems that a lot of you are interested in my personal path, which is Egyptian, and since you are interested in this path  you are asking me where should you start, and what with.  Since I do not have a problem sharing, my deities but not my husband, I decided to answer this question here because if some of you are interested...then maybe there are a couple more tucked away out there in the vast internet universe?

Where do I start? <------This is the number one question I am being asked.  I believe you should always start by reading a book of mythology, and I am recommending two books here: Egyptian Mythology A guide to the Gods, Goddesses, and Traditions of Ancient Egypt, by Geraldine Pinch and Egyptian Mythology by Veronica Ions.  You can read thousands of books on Egyptian Mythology, these are not particularly slanted toward paganism but they are more in-depth and I feel do the best job of gathering the scattered stories from all the sources and explaining to you where they come from, what the differences are, etc.  That being said let me explain why I am not recommending The Book of the Dead (any version) as a start off point. 

  

The Book of the Dead is a series of writing that are spells and incantations for people who have crossed over or have died already. These spells are to be said over the dead body while prepared for death (we would call it embalming) and are left with the body so that their soul part the BA *((the Egyptians/Tamerians believe that the soul had five parts this is the part that looks like a bird and can see and read after dying)) can read those texts as a “cheat sheet” if need be.  Originally, it was believed that only the royal house and special “wealthy aristocrats” could go to greet Osiris and thus in the beginning these scrolls were prepared for them.  Please remember in Ancient times, that the majority of people could not read or write.  It was believed that after you died, you would go through a series of trials or meet deities in whom these recitations/spells would be important and so it was that you studied these and memorized them so that at death you would know what to say when faced with Anubis, or Osiris, or Maat. 

The Egyptians were not fixated with Death they were into celebrating life!  They did not dwell in morbidity, they believed in the principal that Death was a total rebirth (another life).  I realize a lot of this sounds like the modern Western and Eastern religions you know a lot about now: the afterlife, reincarnations, preparing bodies for death, immortality, the soul, but keep in mind this religion is much older than modern times and has influenced it heavily.  So why not the Book of the Dead?  Well, it may sound cool and seem interesting but unless you understand the stories of these Gods and Goddesses and put together a bigger picture and a relationship between them and us…well the Book of the Dead really is just “mumbo jumbo” and makes no “real sense”.  It also might throw you because it was written for a "special class" of people and we all know that none of us are Pharoahs today.  Though, let it be stated my personal opinion is that you should NEVER commit to a Pantheon or religion if you do not accept its stance on "what happens to you when you die".

So, you tell me you have always been fascinated by my religion and you want to learn more.  Here is my response, and it is sincere and with the best intention.  I am going to share with you where to start and you should realize that this is a  “baby step” just a starting point but "baby steps" are essential to finding yourself miles down the path.  When you are a “newbie” at anything in life, including a new pantheon it is overwhelming and many times you do not know where to “start”.  You want all the Gods and Goddesses, all the tools, and to tell the world this is your path because it is a lot like falling in love.  But like love, you should take your time there is no reason to rush...the Gods and Goddesses are not going anywhere, be certain, and give it your whole attention and disciplined mind and please realize if you just started last month there is no way you are an expert.  Spiritual paths take years and years of practice and application as does magick (and that don't mean a couple of years but that is a great start!).

Do you remember when you first “saw” a person that you found yourself attracted to?  They caught your eye, they were the only person you really noticed in the room.  You started to notice your eyes and your attention focusing back on that person over and over again.  Then you went up and approached them and talked to them, you both have exchanges through conversation.  You noticed the details about them, their eyes, their hands, their hair, their smile, the sound of their voice, how they smell, etc.  Then you asked for their phone number, or Facebook page, and you started to call them and talk, or text and flirt, or chat box and get to know them better, you started to build “from scratch” a person of your own making for you to desire (yep, you make them who they are to you!).  They give you information for you to add into the correct place or slot in your mind so that they become real to you.  The information they give you are details like...where they graduated high school from, where they were born, how old they are, how many siblings they have, how many marriages or divorces, children if they have them, likes and dislikes (favorite foods, colors, music, hobbies, extracurricular activities).  Before you know it, you are “in love” and the next thing you know you are “becoming intimate” physically with this person, and you wake up next to them in bed (or it could be the floor or sofa, you know what I mean),

I am sharing this analogy with you because it is the accurate and the perfect analogy for a person looking for a “new spiritual path” or getting to know a “new deity”.  You are falling in love with a God or Goddess.  You cannot love them all at one time, so you choose one.  You read all the stories to find one, the one that catches your attention is…THE ONE (just like the person in a crowd that you noticed).  You then spend time fleshing out that deity, find out its likes, dislikes, holidays, relationships to other deities, find out about what kind of magick they are good at, what they are famous for, their names their titles, favorite colors the element they are associated with. (you are starting a spiritual dialogue with this deity like talking to a human face to face). Then you go buy a representation of them (usually a statue), you set up an altar for just them, and you start doing magick with them or praying to just them.(this stage is equivalent to waking up in bed next to a person you were courting and enamored with).  You will find yourself laying out “offerings” for them, talking to them all the time, making “sacrifices” (many times offering a personal compromise or giving up something for them), and the next thing you know you are changed forever.

Now, I am not telling you just because you are interested in the Egyptian path and might find one deity you feel drawn to (I am going to use Anubis as an example) that this means that he will be the GOD that you will forever be with.  That would be like telling you that every person you find yourself attracted to and having a relationship with is your “happy ever after rainbows and butterflies”.  You and I both know life don’t work that way.  Anubis could be the “one” though, you never know.  On the other hand, he might just be the God that is introducing you to the other Egyptian deities, or he might just be helping you realize you are really Pagan, or it could be that he is essential to helping you realize the relationship between life and death, or he could want to introduce you to his half- brother Horus, or his mom Nephythys you never know. Just like every person we fall in love with, might no be the “one”. But they might introduce us to the “one” or they might just be an essential lesson we need to learn so that we can be better people and be better at a relationship when we do meet a person we can settle down with.

Ten years, twenty years later, thirty years later, you might stop long enough to contemplate your path and be tickled to death to realize Anubis has walked with you that long, and loved you through it all….and you are happier than a pig in a pigpen.  Who knows?  But, you will never figure that out…if you do not open a book of mythology first, and figure out who Anubis is; rather than depend on a Hollywood or bad Scifi movies to define him for you. You, and only you, can do the work and research and practice that it will take to get to know Anubis.  I can relate a few things about him to you, I can even give you “hints” to point you in the right direction, but when it comes down to it…I cannot make you put in the time, money, effort, or energy into building a relationship with deity, just like I cannot “force” you to date someone and really listen to them and get to know them.

I hope this analogy helped you, no one shared anything like this with me when I was starting out I was just given a syllabus and a “way of doing things” and it was after many years that I came to figure out that there was a much more simple organized way of approaching deity if you tried. I pray these books are the keys that opens up the door to wherever it is you are meant to go; and I also hope you realize that our “myths” are no different than any other spiritual books they are analogies, metaphors, and sometimes true regurgitation of events and are what draws you to a deity because you begin to realize they too walked the earth like you and experienced loss, happiness, pleasure, excitement, wandering, acquired skills, etc.  I also want you all to know, that my email box is always open…as is my heart.   

Thank you for the gift of your time!