Being Thankful for What’s on the Inside

 November has arrived and with it the season of Thanksgiving. Cultures around the world recognize and celebrate the harvest reconnecting them to ancient ways. In the United States the connection of Thanksgiving to the harvest festivals of old is not taught as part of the history and meaning of the holiday celebration. This is not surprising in a culture dominated by a religious group that strives to disconnect itself from anything that existed prior to its inception outside the history recorded in its holy text. I was taught that as an American I was to give thanks on this day in honor of the pilgrims befriending the Native Americans at Plymouth Rock and receiving their aid in surviving the harsh winter. The only connection to celebrating the harvest was the poorly documented history of a feast celebration. I found the celebration left a bad taste in my mouth as I got older. I disliked celebrating this feast because of the resulting devastation of the Native Americans at the hands of the immigrating people from across the pond. It took me many years in my pagan path to realize that Thanksgiving was a twist of the harvest festivals I celebrated as Lughnasadh, Mabon, and Samhain. So here we are in the throngs of yet another harvest festival yet this time we also find ourselves in the midst of windershin spiraling. We have celebrated the grain harvest. We have celebrated the fruit harvest. And we have celebrated the livestock and soul harvest. So what are we to celebrate now?

 

We are taught that this celebration calls for us to be thankful for all that we have. As a pagan, I have celebrated my thankfulness for all that I have in my life three times over now. I learned that in conjunction to celebrating the grains, fruits, and meats each of the harvest festivals is a time to list all the things I am thankful for in my life and honor the blessings bestowed upon me by the gods. So as I watch the thanksgiving parade of Facebook posts each day describing one thing each of my family and friends are thankful for I find myself thinking I’ve already shown the gods my thankfulness for these things; family, extended family, friends, job, pets, health, home, etc. My list got longer and longer with each harvest festival but now at Thanksgiving I seem to have run out of things to give thanks for. That is when I realized I was working against the spin of universal energy. I noticed many of the posts and nearly all of the things on my list were external and I needed to be internally focused.

During this time of year, many pagans turn to self-reflection and shadow work. My shadow work, like many others I have talked with, involved looking within for negative aspects so that we may work on them in order to learn and grow. But I conjecture that not all shadow work must flow in this frightening manner.  A positive, thankful spin can help in addressing our shadows and keep us in the holiday spirit. This is also a great way to begin one’s shadow work for the winter months and show our thankfulness to the gods for their teachings over the previous year.  

In recent years I have begun to review my personal journal and think back to all things that I didn’t record. Like many, I start the year out making daily entries but within a few months those entries get further and further spread out. I look for situations that I either recorded something about myself that I learned or situations that now looking back I realize I could have reacted differently. I make a list of all the lessons about myself I have learned over the past year. Some of the things this year include not reacting in anger to someone else’s anger, state my beliefs and opinions in conversation in a manner that is not argumentative as if trying to force others to believe as I do, and do not give ultimatums I am not willing to live up to. These are but a few. Some of the lessons have appeared on previous years’ lists. Some of them may show up on next year’s list. I take note of lessons that repeat and those that do not. This year I plan to incorporate a small personal ritual. I will cast a circle and call to the gods. Light a pink candle for self love and acceptance, and a black candle for banishing. In the cauldron I shall burn incense made of 3 parts Frankincense, 2 parts Myrrh, and 1 part each of Mugwort, Rosemary, and Bay. I will have on my altar several slips of paper, a new journal, and a writing instrument. I will begin by lighting the candles, which will be anointed with my personal power oil and charged for their purpose. Next, I will write each lesson I have learned on a slip of paper; something like, “I reacted with violence when emotionally threatened.” The next step is to thank the gods for helping me to recognize and learn from this lesson. I will then banish my old habit by lighting it in the flame of the black candle and announce, “I banish my fault of violent reaction.” And throw it in to the cauldron to burn away. I follow this by focusing on the pink candle and allowing myself to recognize that I have learned and grown from the experience. I will thank the gods for my growth. Next, I will write in my new journal what I have learned, “I am thankful I have learned to think before I act especially when threatened emotionally.” I will continue in this manner with each lesson on my list. When I am finished I will again thank the gods and ask them to help me remember these lessons I have learned and to not make the same mistakes again. Of course this means that the gods may give me opportunities to show what I have learned. And I hope I live up to the experiences. I will ask the gods to bless my new journal. And lastly, I will dismiss the gods and close the circle.

One lesson that always seems to make my list is the poor recording of my experiences. The gods have given me an opportunity to begin anew this year by inspiring me and gifting me with the pleasure and honor of being a part of this blog. I do hope that in the coming years this lesson will be learned.

I thank you for your time in reading my article and hope that at least some of you have found it informative and inspirational.

Blessed Be.

Kevin Red Patrick

Kevin Red Patrick is a seeker at Temple of the Sacred Gift – ATC. Raised in Memphis, TN, and educated at the University of Mississippi. His pagan path began at the age of thirteen after understanding that his views of life, spirituality, and sexuality did not align with his Christian upbringing. He has followed an eclectic Wiccan path with strong Celtic influences for twenty-two years. Divine direction led him to TSG-ATC in December of 2012, where he is now receiving formal training with aspirations of becoming clergy. He now lives in Southaven, MS with his partner of thirteen years and two dogs.

They are as happy as if they had good sense.

Yule passed.  The log was burned, gifts were exchanged and the new year of the Roman calendar slid in like a barge on the Mississippi river.  This past year has just been a blur.  I know many of you feel the same it seems as if I could hardly hold on to the Momentum pushing me.  I am here...I used to be there.

Brian (my hubby and highpriest) have experienced such large changes that I am surprised at times to still see him standing next to me smiling, and nodding.  I don't tell too many people this but I really most of the time cannot figure out why that man asked me to marry him in the first place. Goddess knows I tried my best to scared him off, and if I did not buck like I had a burr under my saddle for the first three years my name is not Sonya.  It seemed as if deep inside I really did not think I deserved a life partner, that if someone really saw the pace I ran my life on and dealt with all of my issues he/she would run to the hills screaming.  There had to be a reason why my parents weren't very nice or affectionate to me; and no man had really stuck around that long.  I was blighted, I was cursed, I was really just awful my shadow self said..and I accepted it; because there was nothing solid and hard to tell me any different here in the physical to prove otherwise.  Though it should be stated I had faith and hope I was wrong.

Heavens knows why immediately after we got married we decided to co-found a Wiccan/Pagan church together when we should have been honeymooning it up but Brian and I did just that.  Then, not very long into that venture we got pregnant and brought a new son into our newly found love and life that we were trying to construct.  When I was pregnant he was the perfect husband not just there but always loving me and making me feel super sexy (how he did that I will never know but he managed it).  When I stress over the bills of the Church getting paid, or the next years syllabus, or a ritual, or a member of the church that is having a difficult time...he is there.  He hugs me, and listens and guides me to my higher self.  Pointing out what I do right; never ever whipping me with what I do wrong because he knows that I am the harshest critic of myself..and that my parents did a superb job feeding my inner self with all kinds of criticisms that looped in my head constantly.

He has not circled what I needed to work on one time...NO not once.  Through his tireless quiet demeanor and love and admiration of me I have grown to become a gardener who eliminates those weeds of harshness and criticism of myself.  Once I was able to do that, I was able to be less harsh and critical of others...funny how it works that way huh?

 When people in the community outside were critical and harsh to me because I was a transplanted southerner he just held me closer and walked with me tighter never letting me think about "quitting or giving up" because he believed in me as a person, and in me as a highpriestess and the clergy I could become.  This is why I still look at him in amazement thinking, well damn he really does love me and always will walk by me. 

Brian and I struggled with "pre-conceived" gender roles in parenting, marriage, jobs, and as clergy.  I am more projective and pushy, Brian is really more receptive and nurturing.  I am more of a giver and giving to the point of hurting (sacrifice is part of my makeup) but Brian is more of a receiver thinker when it comes to giving he has taught me to choose more wisely and I have taught him how to give without thinking!  It is not over our partnership, or our marriage but now that we both realize we really are here to stay and have worked through some of the biggest hurdles we think most people get tripped up on; we both feel happier than a cat who ate the canary....and I find it has changed me!  Being Happier makes your jaws sore :))))))))

I posted these pictures today on my blog to remind us that the Goddess many of us worship is DARK and LIGHT.  Right now it seems so popular to say I am a DARK Pagan and not into Wicca that is too "light" for me.  OR I am a being of light I cannot stand "death, dark, and dead things" but we forget that our Goddess holds a sycthe in her hand, and is the face of death and life.  That the moon is DARK and LIGHT that its cycles go toward full and then toward void.  My Goddess is ISIS and yet she is the Wife and Co-ruler with Osiris the God of the Underworld (you think that's dark enough)? If not maybe the God Anubis (the Dark Lord, the Bone father, The Guardian of the Gates of Death, Psychopomp) seems a bit more your speed? I dedicated myself to him last year for a year and a day with my third degrees and he has taught me so much my head has not stopped spinning.

These Gods and my Goddess would not let me fly like a bird until I acknowledged, realized, and purged out of myself the deepest darkest fears and lies I had been telling to myself for years.  They did it by sending me a person (and it should be noted many other friends) to love me.  Until I could accept that FULL love that came to me where I was and elevated me to where I am I could not become better, or happier, or smile in the mirror truly SMILE at myself.

I am not a Practioner of only DARK magic.  I am not a practioner of only WHITE magic.  I worship the Dark and Light, the Sun and the Moon, I dance with life and with death.  I AM BALANCED and when I am not...one of the many Gods and Goddesses I worship will let me know how to fix it and address it; but it will not be Brian he will always look at me with pride in his eyes and a smile on his face. 

 This Blog post is dedicated to the person who has taught me more about life, love, magick, manhood, parenting, marriage, friendship, compassion, laughter, acceptance and the list goes on and on.  He is my Dark Lord and my Sun God; and I am as happy as a person with good sense!